GoddessDustyGold
Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
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Welcome to the boards boi,
The first thing I would address, and this is strictly a personal pet peeve, is the use of the term boi.
Boi is ( or used to be!) a term used to indicate a female lesbian who tends toward the masculine. I see it used constantly now as a cute way to indicate a boy who is a "boi" ( a boy in this lifestyle), and I admit it kind of bothers Me. *Smile* To each his own, and it probably isn't that important...it is just one of those little things!
Regarding your profile, I think it is reasonable, and some say they hate emoticons (I do also) but the way you used them was clever and humorous.
You say you have written to local Ladies who you thought might be of interest to you and you to them. Yet no responses. I can't reply to that, since I don't know what you wrote to them. Offhand, I don't know if any of them participate on these boards. As much as I would like to say that the Ladies are all good to go, and the boys are all playing games, it isn't so, and you do have to pick and choose and then hope for the best. You can see if your emails have been opened, so that is a plus for this site's email program. By the same token, the consistent Ladies who do post on these boards are very conscientious, and so I address this area with regards to emailing since we do receive so many complaints/whines about "no responses" or "can't find a Domme" topics. All we can say is "boys, you are preaching to the choir, so why would you get all bent out of shape and have a temper tantrum and alienate a possible relationship?"
Which brings Me to your admission of limiting your search to online. I don't know where Jordan, Mn is located in that state, but I would recommend that you make the extra effort to find local munches. Even if it means you need to drive a bit. Google bdsm mucnhes along with your city and state and you should get some info. There is at least on submissive gal, Bitatruble, who is in that state and I am willing to bet she knows where the local action is. You might try writing to some others in your area. Note that there is a navigation bar in the grouping by each individual profile. I would recommend that you click on the "View forum posts" bar, and see if anyone, doesn't matter what the orientation is, posts on these forums. That could help you to get in contact with some Minnesotans who are active in the scene or at least active online and participating in discussions. You can always get together, psosibly, and venture forth into the the real world!
As to your photo, again this is a very personal preference, but I would be be more inclined to view you favorably if you had eyes up, a smile, and wearing something nice. I am not one for the downcast eyes and naked upper body. I would suggest that you save that for an additional picture behind your main photo. But others, I am sure, would not mind your photo at all.
quote:
ORIGINAL: istym
I am curious about your ideas and experience on a couple particulars:
- How many messages do you receive in a month? (might you have a more precise count than hundreds?)
- How many are worth your time? (content, quality, genuine, etc. -- was it really just three? If so, yikes!)
- What might lead you to feel a message was worth reading in its entirety? (I have an idea, but thought it worth asking)
- What, in a message of moderate length, depth and appropriate respect, might cause you to not respond?
boi
Now, on to your questions.
1. I do receive approximately 50 - 75 emails per month. These are new emails. This is down a bit from when I first re-opened My search in April. I never deactivated My profile, so I cannot say it was because I came up as a new profile. I just created the new text to indicate I was looking again and that was picked up by the seekers, I suppose. Prior to that, when I said I wasn't looking, I had less, but, frankly, not a whole lot less.
I do not delete emails. Therefore everything that is 90 days or less old, remains on file here. The site drops My older mail each day as it hits the limit of 90 days. I have 16 pages of email that is 90 days or less old. At 20 per page, that is 320 mails in the last 90 days. In the first 30 days I had more, now I get less. So I can easily guesstimate the amount of mail I receive. Of those, probably about 30 or less are personal emails from friends regardiong other things, so you can deduct those.
Much of it is one line or a little more. As I indicated in My OP, I have truly given two very good examples of the typical email I receive. I receive chat ID's, although I state cearly that I do not chat. I get chat requests on this site every single day, which I consistently decline. I receive phone numbers. I get offers to fly in to see Me for a session which is described in full as to the boy's fantasy, and I get offers to fly Me to them for a session, again with the full description of what they expect in the way of fun and games. I get a lot of "your photos are stunning", or Hi Lady, u r hot!", or "seeking slender female to dominate me", or Please see my profile and I hope you write back to me" (and when I go to the profile there is little to nothing there!). I get photos of cocks, boys dressed up in their favorite french maid's outfit, questions regarding if I would tatto them, or brand them, or use them as a toilet. If you could get a look at My inbox, I think you would get an idea pretty quickly how lame it all is.
Yet these boys complain and complain that no one wants them.
Hence the reason for My OP. If a few read and figure some things out then perhaps I have accomplished something in some small way. I am sure this will not solve everything, but I am of the firm belief that there are boys out there who simply has no social skills, do not know how important writing a decent letter is, and then get discouraged or angry and bitter.
It never fails to amaze Me how many boys only think they want a D/s or M/s relationship. It all sounds very romantic in their fantasy world, but when the rubber hits the road, it is a different story. They want to submit in the bedroom and roleplay (as in playing a role, since this is not who they really are at their core) when it is fun, but to really submit or to be owned in a Mistress/salve relationship entails much more than some play and doing the dishes naked once in a while. I believe that many boys never really think it through. They imagine being naked and caged, being whipped, being humilated and performing in front of "Mistress's" friends, but they never think about the daily grind. Which is why so many boys are referred to Pros. They get angry about that, but they don't stop to think that they are (perhaps inadvertently) objectifying the Dominas. We all need to be wearing Leather 24/7, we never get sick, we never have to eat, or work, or have children to tend to (or grandchildren in My case!). We just loll around all day being beautiful, while some little elves somewhere go out and earn the paycheck, pay the bills, and wash our clothes.
A slave (or a submissive), especially if one thinks he is seeking 24/7 is there to make the lady's life easier. It doesn't mean you do not work in tandem, but the deference to Her authority is always there, and most boys never get that. If this is what a boy does not want, by all means, that is fine! But I do get tired of all the boys who try to impose their fantasy on Me. I am supposed to want what they want, because what they want is what is reasonable them. Therefore it must be okay to force Me to accept their ideas for the relationship, or else they throw a tantrum and I am not real...I am unreasonable. Yadda, yadda, yadda...
Yes, I honestly will tell you that, with the time I spent writing My profile and outlining exactly what I want to see in a sincere letter of introduction and petition, I have received exactly three that botherered to make the effort. I have had a few others who said they are very impressed and that they are following up with the required letter, and I never received anything.
What I don't respond to? I shouldn't respond to anything that doesn't follow My instructions, at least most of the way. However, much to My jonathan's dismay, I often do, if I feel there is an inkling of possiblity or an opportunity to educate. I do not respond to anything outstandingly vulgar, any one liners that simply say, "I would love to get to know you better" (he is in, for example, Oregon, while I am in Az...hmmmm), or just "Hi", or "how are you" or I would really love to serve you", or "I can relocate immediately and I want to be your slave"...Oh, yes, I am giving you very typical garbage that I receive. I also get more wordy missives which inlcude the example I gave on the second letter above. Some of these are obvious copy and pastes, with their fantasies and then the disclaimer, like I mentioned. They are several paragraphs in length, and they don't even begin to approach the information I request which could probably be covered, with some care, in 12 to 15 sentences! I have defintie parameters also regarding age, marital status and geogreaphic location with relocatability important. I receive amil eveyr week (in fact, eveyr day) from overseas, from boys in their 20's, for business men in their 30's who are probably married but tell me that they would love to see Me on a regular basis when they come My way on byusiness...you get the idea. I ahve young boys in other countries who beg Me to allow them to serve Meo n cam. I am simply not interested. it does nothing for Me and serves Me in no way.
Bottom line (no pun intended) for Me, is that of a boy does not feel it is important to read and respect My profile instructions, then they are unlikely to ever be able to sreve Me in the manner I require. Therefore why bother?
Yet I do...*Smile* As I posted above..."Silly Me!"
*Edited quickly for the typos I can see, but please do not hold My headache and My dylsexic fingers against Me!
< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/9/2006 7:27:39 PM >
_____________________________
Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom
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