RE: THE DIVORCE RATE

RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (Full Version)

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SirKenin -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 11:11:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen CD and SirK - time out boys! You're not even married to be having this sort of argument! ....................... or are you!? E Yeah, but he would not even service Me this morning. He would not even bring Me a beer like a good boi should. I can live without My daily servicing, but I did not enjoy not getting My beer. [:D]

philosophy -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 11:11:29 AM)
"CD and SirK - time out boys! You're not even married to be having this sort of argument! ....................... or are you!? " ...i think they are divorcing and arguing over who gets custody of the bile........

Kirei -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 11:28:15 AM)
Crappydom the answer to your question is easy. Try asking one of those good christians things like in the most simple of terms in one word describe Love=, honor=, charish=, obey= service=, chruch= God=,. and see what you get. The answers may surprise you. It does me. The three they will mess up on the most are love, honor, and God. Love=sacrifice, because unconditional love=unconditional scarifce. Honor=praise, because if you praise someone a lot you must respect and like them too. So for the bible praise is the first step in teaching honor, if you praise God you learn the first step in honoring Him. God=Master and this one they always miss. The lifestyle can actually help you understand the bible much deeper. For example in the book of life all those found in it will be spared. Well if no one on earth can open it, and none in heaven, and only Jesus can open it... then only his name must be in it. That means he is the master and under old law if the master is spared then all those subs and slaves under them are spared too. Hence in history if the King was spard his usbjects were spared. Since we understand from the lifestyle how to serve whether sub or slave, if it is the same principal then a collar is very simliar to marriage. Look at how easy collars are given out and thrown away just in our lifestyle. There is an irony there if you can see it. Koneko

zumala -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 11:34:05 AM)
I am Christian. Talk to me if you want to get one Christian's view. We are all individuals, regardless of beliefs or faith. It is never right to lump everyone into a category and then set them all on fire or claim they are all identical. CrappyDom clearly has issues of some sort with Christians and/or Christianity. Yes, the attacks do get old. Yes, it does hurt a little to be blindly assaulted because he's going after everyone as a group, which by necessity includes me. Such is life. Kirei - I have noticed some corrolations here and there between Christianity and BDSM. I do consider God to be my ultimate Master. He certainly takes presidence over any other, including pup. zuma

LadyEllen -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 11:53:25 AM)
When people like me, (and maybe CD, but he can tell you that), rant on about Christians, its usually about those who give the whole of Christianity a bad name - the empty barrels who make the most noise and none of it in line with anything Jesus said or did. When I rant about the Church, its about the Church with a capital C, the one which tortured, blackmailed, threatened and exterminated in the name of the God of love - again usually attributable to more empty barrels. The same with Islam, Republicans, Conservatives and lots of others - the defining characteristic being, those who tend to want to promote their personal wealth and power at the expense of others, (whether that expense is paid in terms of money, suffering, servitude or other denigration), and use some form of political or religious authority to do so. If only those barrels that were more amply filled would make more noise, perhaps the emptier ones could be drowned out. But then, the truth is never popular and if Jesus himself returned and preached right here, right now he'd be denounced again in the same way, by the same sort of empty barrels that denounced him last time. For what its worth, when I do rant on about the above, I dont intend it to relate to anything other than the empty barrels. My apologies if I dont always make that clear. Hijack over! E

zumala -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 12:01:31 PM)
pup and I often dispair over the modern so-called Church ourselves. I believe that a lot of those folks are not Christian, but simply run around trying to use that 'label' as cover and justification for their own greed and misdoings. It is a very, very sad thing. I know I'm not perfect and never will be in this life. I do read my Bible, however, and examine myself. I admit when I do wrong and strive to do right. That's the best I can do. I try. I struggle. I fail. And then I get back up and keep trying. zuma

LadyEllen -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/11/2006 12:15:39 PM)
zumala - well, if Revelations is anything to go by, it sounds like you're saved. Respect! E

Emperor1956 -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/12/2006 9:56:20 PM)
quote: was watching Dr. Phil a while ago and he (or I believe he) coined a new phrase, "Starter Marriage." That for some, it takes a marriage then a divorce for one to realize what they really want out of a relationship. When they marry for the second (third, fourth and yes sometimes fifth...I know a guy who is working on marriage number six) they have a better understanding of self and often (but not always) make better choices in a mate. Gee, we call it "practicing marriage". Someday maybe those 3-4-5 timers will get it right. E.

Kedicat -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/12/2006 11:45:24 PM)
I think people put reality and actual value into a word or a label. Tradition and ritual don't make reality. As we progress in some ways, we shed the sham of tradition. We refuse to suffer to prop up the rosey lies of tradition. The institution, ritual and myth of marriage is being replaced by the reality of people trying to live a good life. The myth of marriage is a beautiful thing. We are abandoning supporting the myth by trying to live something that can really supply the good things of marriage. Getting such a wonderful myth right the first time is very unlikely. Especially with the pressure and romance of the myth being sold so hard by everyone. The idea that being unmarried is some sort of failure. Even divorcees seem to be more worthy of respect of desireability than those never yet married. But the abundance of them is diluting that myth too. Such a variety of judgement of worthiness is tied to being married before some age is ridiculous. It seems a reflection of how society values want over worth. I hope the divorce rate decreases only because people discard marriage and take up the concept of seeking their best lives. Be that single or coupled......or poly even if that is happiness and good. That best life being sharing your best with others for as long as it is fulfilling and good.

Jasmyn -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/13/2006 1:06:39 AM)
(fr) Sometime ago on a local website the question was asked "Why did you say yes?" to the audience that was largely now single divorcees ... what struck me about the majority of responses was how many claimed they didn't know how to say 'no'..not wanting to disappoint them, thinking it was something their family & friends expected, etc ... only one or two out of a 100 or so respondents claimed they said 'yes' because they wanted to live the rest of their life with that person.

meatcleaver -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/13/2006 1:16:57 AM)
People on the whole are not monogamous creatures, marriage has always been a sham other than when it was a business contract between rich and powerful families. The Victorian age elevated it to the status we tend to give marriage today, before that, below the monied people, it was always a more fluid affair. The 18th century English practice of selling your wife which isn't exactly how it sounds, the wife usually had found a new partner and then the negotiations took place. It was not unusual in the late 18th century early 19th for a male partner to leave the home and a new man enter the household and look after the children as if they were his. I could go on and on. Today we keep statistics to prove how bad things are but if you view separation as bad, it has always been bad, apart from the claustrophobic era from the Victorians to the 1950s.

Mavis -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/13/2006 4:40:44 AM)
There were a couple references to "staying together for the children" and the cost of divorce being a poor excuse for staying together, but i'd like to say, those two things can be the little alternate excuses that keep people in it long enough for "the weirds" to go away. the end result of staying for alternate reasons often results in enough time to heal or repair what was going wrong. Face it, if we can divorce too simply, how do we have the time to fix things? If you poll couples who have been married more than 20 years, almost all will cite a time they were sure it wasn't going to work.. but they didn't get the divorce right away for whatever reason, and now are happy they didn't just jump. Divorce isn't always the great evil either.. sure we're supposed to be committed unconditinally.. but if the condition becomes one where one person is truly suffering, and it's a clear pattern.. they have the same right and obligation as a slave.. "First, protect the property, even if it is from the Master". (Yes crappy, i think that's where christians balance between biblical responsibility to marriage, and responsibility to God or self re the body as a temple)

Vendaval -> RE: THE DIVORCE RATE (9/14/2006 1:50:57 AM)
The two reasons most often cited for divorce in the U.S. should come as no surprise to anybody; arguments about money and arguments about sex. A list of various causes and conflicts would include: one person wanting children and the other not wanting children, poor communication, stress of child raising, career pressures for one or both partners, careers that require long periods of time apart and/or frequent relocation, tension from in-laws and other family members, and so forth. IMO, the deal breakers are obvious problems such as: drug and/or alcohol addiction, gambling, etc, emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse of the spouse or children, destroying the whole financial stability of the family, breaking vows of fidelity if the union is pledged to be monogamous, and so forth.

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