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RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 10:54:39 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

How decisive can you be with someone that you basically know nothing about?


How decisive can you be with yourself, is often how I put it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
How clear, decisive and succinct are we when approaching a stranger at a social gathering for conversation?


Not very, and that is my point. Of course, this "social gathering" is somewhat particular in theme, wouldn't you say? I don't find it outlandish at all to receive a well written message expressing clear, enthusiastic interest.


quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
What ever happened to just casually talking to someone, without a specific agenda and seeing what kind of vibe comes back? In the real world, isn't that how most of our relationships have begun; accidentally?


What ever happened to it? We are awash in meaningless chatter and bush beating. One can still forge a relationship while being open and honest about what they seek. A sincere compliment, an articulate expression of interest and well thought out questions is usually the pattern that interests me.

I would further venture to say that the agenda concept isn't eliminated in your above scenario, merely covered up in well-acted and obligatory social custom.


quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Are we looking for relationships or shopping from a catalog?


For me, both.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 8:11:34 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


How decisive can you be with yourself, is often how I put it.


I hear that.  Its a valid concern I suppose.  But not everyone begins interactions so tightly focused on a specific goal.  Not everyone feels comfortable getting up in a stranger's face with what they're looking for.  I think its an aggressive and presumptuous approach, but for those with a more pragmatic m. o., I guess it works.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
How clear, decisive and succinct are we when approaching a stranger at a social gathering for conversation?


quote:

Not very, and that is my point. Of course, this "social gathering" is somewhat particular in theme, wouldn't you say? I don't find it outlandish at all to receive a well written message expressing clear, enthusiastic interest.


Yes, different in theme, but dont people still acquaint in much the same way, regardless of theme?  Well-written and polite should be expected, but "enthusiastic interest" off the top of the bat?  In someone that you've never had contact with?  <Sheesh, some people want it all.>

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
What ever happened to just casually talking to someone, without a specific agenda and seeing what kind of vibe comes back? In the real world, isn't that how most of our relationships have begun; accidentally?


quote:

What ever happened to it? We are awash in meaningless chatter and bush beating. One can still forge a relationship while being open and honest about what they seek. A sincere compliment, an articulate expression of interest and well thought out questions is usually the pattern that interests me.


Nothing wrong with that. : x

quote:

I would further venture to say that the agenda concept isn't eliminated in your above scenario, merely covered up in well-acted and obligatory social custom.


As cynical as I am...I dont think an agenda is neccessarily a given, when two people begin an interaction.  Maybe after they get to know each other, an agenda may develope.  It would seem backwards to me to have the agenda first, then focus that agenda on a stranger.   I could understand the 'agenda' being, "Id like to talk to you further to see if we have anything in common", but beyond that, I dont know.  Eh...maybe Im thinking like an vanillian again. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Are we looking for relationships or shopping from a catalog?


quote:

For me, both.  


Footstools R Us  is running a sale on doormats this week.  <kidding> 


_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 8:43:30 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		my personal thought... Do not write with an expectation to build a specific relationship.  Write with a desire to get to know "the Person", but be sure you have a reason why you are motivated to write to this specific person and NO... "you look great in leather pants" is not good enough.  Myself... I appreciate that a person sees aspects of my character and acknowledges it to me. 
Aspects that they admire.  I would also like to see a email that express something about the person as well.  It doesn't have to be much, but it is a start to a conversation or interaction. 

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Jewel85)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 9:08:44 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

my personal thought... Do not write with an expectation to build a specific relationship.  Write with a desire to get to know "the Person", but be sure you have a reason why you are motivated to write to this specific person and NO... "you look great in leather pants" is not good enough.


Damn, brb I have to go unsend.

quote:

I would also like to see a email that express something about the person as well.  It doesn't have to be much, but it is a start to a conversation or interaction. 


Sounds reasonable enough.



_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 10:58:53 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I really don't care what kind of introduction I receive. I always figure that if someone contacts me, they must be interested in me. I will take it from there. I will find out very quickly if there is anything there worth pursuing.
My slave/wife initially sent me a simple "hi". If I had ignored that message because of some concern that it wasn't much of a message, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 11:28:55 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I got one of those yesterday, Estring.  It just said "hi"  Nothing more, just "hi".

I said "hi back"

No reply.  I guess I said the wrong thing.  LOL.

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 11:33:23 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		i always "have an agenda" if i mail someone. i either want to meet them, or pat them onna head for something that caught my attn, or ask for or share resources.  i use the same basic approach for males or females, subs or Dom/mes.   Some of the most recent..

Hi.. i noticed You have an interest in football..  if you're not stuck on the hometeam, could i recruit you to cheer for the Seahawks?  A few of the locals will be meeting at sports pub this Sunday to watch the games, would you like to join us? 

Hi, i've really enjoyed your comments on such and such thread..  or (wow, i hated everything you said about this topic), would you like to come hash it out over a game of pool?  You're sure to win that one, i'm awful at pool..

While i'm not looking for partners now, i used that approach in the past, and still do for friend-making.  asking for a casual meet isn't that difficult, and a group setting relieves a lot of pressure to "match well". 

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 11:35:36 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I got one of those yesterday, Estring.  It just said "hi"  Nothing more, just "hi".

I said "hi back"

No reply.  I guess I said the wrong thing.  LOL.


They probably don't reply to one sentence messages.

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Introductions - 9/10/2006 11:42:48 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I got one of those yesterday, Estring.  It just said "hi"  Nothing more, just "hi".

I said "hi back"

No reply.  I guess I said the wrong thing.  LOL.


They probably don't reply to one sentence messages.

LOL is that it? I thought maybe I was too wordy

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 9/10/2006 11:43:13 PM >

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Introductions - 9/11/2006 4:09:21 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

This is a topic that can't be covered enough. I prefer the letter that is direct, somewhat succinct, and well written. Indecisiveness should be avoided. Don't communicate a vague intention only to retract and play coy. That will get you nowhere with me—real world or online.



You expect the average sub, most likely a stranger, to be direct and decisive - sorta like the average Dom/me might write? Good luck with that...



Hi Focus,

When you really think about it, why not? I in fact do have many who break from the herd and write me in this way, and only a small fraction of that number is ever considered past extended communication. I have been on this particular site for roughly two years. In that time, I've had literally hundreds of individual queries, and out of that number, I have deemed to meet only five. Out of that five, I have kept two.

Online and off, I rarely offer an unsolicited seduction for the intent of hooking a submissive girl. I personally don't believe in doing that. The reasons are as much philosophical as they are psychological.

This "hooking a submissive" via email comment is rather crude and elitist but if your preferred alternative of adopting a set posture for subs to run your gauntlet and find you is working, who am I to argue.
 
But my "direct and decisive" comment was more my point.  That's how I tend to be in my emails but I can't say as I'd warm to a fem/sub who wrote to me in that manner.  Opposites do attract and it's not restricted to just complimenting roles or gender.  So I like to see something a little shy or soft, even a pinch of vulnerability, in a sub's words because that is what I'm not.
 
My generally easy-going, down to earth manner is what works for me and that's the only persona a sub who is not *my* sub will get to talk with.  A split personality as opposed to your seemingly rigid facade?  Maybe, but I do prefer to be the "hard-arse" only when necessary.
 
Hell, I've had and met plenty of subs and they're all different - logically Doms must be, too!  If your method does work as well as you present, then you've got me shot to pieces in the charisma stakes at least!  And there I was wishing you luck.... lol 
 
Cheers.
 
Focus.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Introductions - 9/12/2006 1:15:58 AM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		I saw that some Tops want nude pictures as proof that they are for real. I really don't get that when it's so easy to send photo's from anywhere. Frankly nothing is for sure until they have signed their first contract and you're inspecting them for the first time.  And with what surgeons can do these days even that may not be 100%.lol
I can tell you what not to do:  Hello Sir
That's all.......really I got that yesterday.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Introductions - 9/12/2006 11:14:17 AM   
SlaveFinder


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/3/2006
Status: offline 		Jewel, In my opinion there should always be some form of personalization. Something you are resoonding to in the Doms profile or journal. That way they know you are serious and at least can read.
M_R

(in reply to LadyWhisper)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 11:57:56 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

please call me 867-5309... 


At first I couldn't see putting a phone number in a thread, until it all became clear, Jenny.

How many could possibly still remember?

Jeff


I did instantly .. but I'm an old fucker.
 
in response to the OP ... I like aletter that lets me know they liked somethingabout me . and the fact we might have more conversations .. if I am sending out aletter to someone . I tell them I liked something about them or their profile . short and sweet . never a protocol letter.
 
but . thats just my dam opinion

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 12:23:42 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 
ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact?
 
I'm pretty reluctant to do it...  it just seems... wrong?  I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me?  <sigh>  I'm kinda silly that way...
 
beverly

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 12:57:22 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jewel85

Good Sirs,
I'm sure this topic has probably been covered before, but opinions change and people come and go. I was looking at the forums Ask a Submissive/Slave, and there were a few talking about bad introductory letters, and how it seems hopeless. So my question is: what in Your opinion is the best way for a submissive to write an introductory letter to a Dom? If You  had to set a standard, what would it be?

Curiously,
Jewel


 
Typically either posts in the forums or their profile have caught my attention. For me it is not formal at all. I will simply say hello, mention what caught my attention, and if I have further question simply ask them respectfully. That is all I expect from subs/slaves that contact me as a Domme as well. Sometimes I hear back from them, other times I don't.
 
I know I enjoy getting notes about my profile in general, poems that I post in it or my journal, pictures,qoute that I may post, or even how my profile is written and I know I am not the only person who enjoys unsolicited, unexpected compliments. *laughs*
 
I personally HATE the following :
- form emails that are sent out to the masses
-people who email me without bothering to read my profile
-people who email me for the 1st time asking how they can serve me
-Doms who email me saying things like " you can offer me your phone number or IM addy"




_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Jewel85)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 1:00:22 PM   
Phoenixandnika


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact?
 
I'm pretty reluctant to do it...  it just seems... wrong?  I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me?  <sigh>  I'm kinda silly that way...
 
beverly

 
I personally think that a man likes to be chased to a point regardless of the lables he uses for himself. I also don't expect a Dom to read EVERY profile on CM and more than I expect you or I too.
 
If it is a sincer compliment or question why not give it or ask it? If you don't get a response have you truly lost anything? If you do perhaps in the long run you will gain much more than you expected.

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."



(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 5:26:37 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact?
 
I'm pretty reluctant to do it...  it just seems... wrong?  I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me?  <sigh>  I'm kinda silly that way...
 
beverly


Bearlee darlink ... it's 2006 .. not 1956 ... girlies is allowed to iniate if they gets the itchin too

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 5:47:25 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		I feel the same as Estring. If a femsub sends me a hi I'm going to reply. Actually if anyone says hello I'm going to reply.




_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 5:50:45 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact?
 
I'm pretty reluctant to do it...  it just seems... wrong?  I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me?  <sigh>  I'm kinda silly that way...
 
beverly


Maybe he hasn't found you yet and hasn't looked under your stone [location]


_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Introductions - 9/13/2006 9:00:34 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee


ummmmmmmmm... How DO you Dominant males feel about female submissives initiating contact?
 
I'm pretty reluctant to do it...  it just seems... wrong?  I mean, the guy I'd like wouldn't be stupid; if he found me interesting, wouldn't he have already contacted me?  <sigh>  I'm kinda silly that way...
 
beverly

I tend to think along these lines. Before I was owned, I would never approach a Dominant male (not that I approach them for that specific reason now, lol).  I was too shy for that, I guess, go figure.  I had met a few nice male friends in chat who were on my IM list and still I did not initiate conversations.  I always felt intrusive to do so. 

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 40
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