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RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/10/2006 4:43:30 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

as many have said, it would all depend on what the plan was, what all was included.
submission like Domination comes in many forms. to accept/want a flogging can be as
selfish as it is to want to do the flogging. yet progression into something more can be
the deal breaker. too many variables for a solid answer here.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 21

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/10/2006 5:09:55 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I struggle a lot with the question of "emotions" and "feelings" in D/s and bd/sm. Personally, I find that the more I interact with someone, the more I into a session I can get, if its at all meant to be. Its like, I have to practice with someone before I can really play. So, I'm likely to seek a repeat performance. I would not alow a Dominant to come close to testing my limits in a first session. (I did the sort of scene described in the op once, and loved it. But there's too many risks involved and haven't considered playing this way again)

If I interact with someone, and can feel submissive towards them, I develop attachments. To me, its part of the whole D/s equation.

Importantly, I do not necessarily want those attachments reciprocated. Nor do I find reciprocation entirely productive. I don't really want a Dominant to love, worship or be devoted to me. I want to be cared for, kept safe and that sort of thing, but thats different.

So, yes, I would consider a relationship with a Dominant who had no personal feelings for me, might want to play with them more than once but probably wouldn't want them to become attached to me or develop strong feelings towards me.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 22

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/12/2006 4:20:41 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: runwiththestorm

For any sort of D/s situation, I find I have to have emotional involvement for the trust to be there.

However, if it's just an S/M scene, at a dungeon with a well respected top, that's different. I've been the 'demo sub' at a number of seminars, when in was in the southwest. I've tried things with those who are experienced, just for the sake of trying them. This is all purely physical, endorphin rush, that sort of thing.

The much deeper mental and emotional reactions that any sort of D/s draws have to be with someone I trust. Someone I don't trust who tries to hit those 'switches', if you will, usually just generates a self defense reaction on my part. Not at all what is desired, and generally not a good thing, no matter how you slice it.

Perhaps what many seek is a means to sample the buffet of play without the commitment of a relationship.

Sometime compartmentalizing relationships is a handy device for some.

When they need the play they got to the closet and take down that "box" that they stored away for just for play.

I have had submissives that contact Me once or twice a year just for that....then they go back to the day to day living.

Perhaps the purely physical endorphinal adrenaline rush is the intoxicating elixir?

(in reply to runwiththestorm)

Post #: 23

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/12/2006 2:12:07 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

ah.. W/we're back to an important role in the public play community.,. the service Top.

The BDSM equiv of a nilla booty-call.. helps out bottoms in distress. Is a good thing, as long as one doesn't get that role confused with being a Dom. Calling oneself a Dom and only intending to act as a Top will leave confused subs in their wake. (is this related to that other thread where these labels and confusions came up?)

Most Top-side guys i know, (but not so much the Dommes i know) would be pretty happy to have a list of bottoms that made occasional "beat-my-booty calls"

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 24

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/13/2006 9:43:50 PM

simplygrl

Posts: 46
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplygrl

I myself need to feel some sort of...emotion? Towards someone before I can submit to them/give them that power. I don't think I'd be able to do so in a non-familiar-no-personal feelings manner. Honestly, I think it is because I trust my Sir...beyond words. And I could not trust someone that I did not feel cared for me, regardless of their reputation.

Submission comes on many levels though doesn't it?

Physical "submission" for purely tactile sensations or situational thrills might be one right?

Emotional submission comes much later with a trusted one correct?

So is the end desired results one of a personal relationship that includes submission?

You're correct in that there are more than one level of submission. However...I think, that even for me, I must first have that *trust* in them to submit, even just physically. And in even that situation, without the belief that there is some care/emotional connection...I think I'd probably wind up in subdrop quite easily.

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/.•*•.\ ¸..•¤**¤•., .•¤**¤•.*.*

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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 25

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 9:38:29 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

To be with someone physically i need the emotional connection i don't necessarly have to love them (like i do my Master) but i have to at least be friendly towards them and care for them as friends i could never do empty sex just for the experiene it is just not me.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to simplygrl)

Post #: 26

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 9:41:54 AM

OhReallyNow

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

this slave does not do sessions

however, if Master required that she be of service to another, for whatever capacity, then she is quite happy to do so

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 27

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 1:27:39 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I personally love to bottom. I also like being a demo dummy. I also have found this to be a good way to try new things. To learn more about what I like and dislike in play. If I have had a stressful day a good S&M scene can relax me and set me free. But like many others have said it is a much different experiance then submitting. When I truely submit in play, when there is that deep emotional bond then it if a much more intense experiance for me.

aurora

(in reply to OhReallyNow)

Post #: 28

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 1:34:53 PM

alwayshis1

Posts: 27
Joined: 7/1/2006
Status: offline

i agree with heartfelt. i have bottomed before as well, but then my submission is not about the play. i can easily separate the two. i bottom for expereinces, to try new things. i see so many with a long list of limits. if you have not expereinced things, how can some of them be a limit, and yes i do have limits of things i have never expereinced, why they are limits, things id never do. nothing wrong with play, as long as your mind can separate that its just play, not a relationship.

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 2:36:14 PM

worshipmoons

Posts: 39
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

Are you trolling for a sub for a night? LOL
Dominant that was Known to be safe....by who? Do we check references?

_____________________________

Live is too short to be unhappy, so when the moon is full you'll find me riding my broom through the air, landing here or there, taking in the beauty everywhere....

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 30

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/14/2006 2:57:43 PM

Caitriona

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

I cannot imagine something like that - my emotional connection and trust of my Dom is what allows me to feel comfortable exploring BDSM.

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Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 31

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/15/2006 12:50:11 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

ah.. W/we're back to an important role in the public play community.,. the service Top.

The BDSM equiv of a nilla booty-call.. helps out bottoms in distress. Is a good thing, as long as one doesn't get that role confused with being a Dom. Calling oneself a Dom and only intending to act as a Top will leave confused subs in their wake. (is this related to that other thread where these labels and confusions came up?)

Most Top-side guys i know, (but not so much the Dommes i know) would be pretty happy to have a list of bottoms that made occasional "beat-my-booty calls"

Gee..I have never done charity work in the BDSM framework...guess I have been missing quite a bit eh? ;)

Wonder if the boy scouts might have a merit badge called " Helping bottoms in distress"?

Good point taken...

Ross

(in reply to Mavis)

Post #: 32

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/15/2006 1:10:17 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: worshipmoons

Are you trolling for a sub for a night? LOL
Dominant that was Known to be safe....by who? Do we check references?

No I am not trolling...I have no need to troll for subs but thanks for the thought though ;)

Ross

(in reply to worshipmoons)

Post #: 33

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/15/2006 1:11:20 PM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aurora31

If I have had a stressful day a good S&M scene can relax me and set me free.

I find the same to be true...

Ross

(in reply to aurora31)

Post #: 34

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/15/2006 1:14:15 PM

Aslave4You06

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caitriona

I cannot imagine something like that - my emotional connection and trust of my Dom is what allows me to feel comfortable exploring BDSM.

My thoughts also.

(in reply to Caitriona)

Post #: 35

RE: Personal or impersonal encounter / session? - 9/15/2006 3:10:12 PM

raevnn

Posts: 152
Status: offline

I used to take many a beating from Sadists that I had no real emotions for. I usually didn't enjoy the scene sexually - it was all for the pain.

However, if I truly want to 'feel' everything that a scene can hold (humility, submission, pain, love, momentary loss of self) I need to be with someone I know and have feelings for.

(in reply to Aslave4You06)

Post #: 36

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