Some things I learned living in south Texas

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Some things I learned living in south Texas - 9/9/2006 1:35:03 PM

ThatLilBrat

Posts: 149
Joined: 2/14/2005
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Things I learned while living in Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. ....  as do raccoons, skunks and just about any other varmit that is lower than a Ford or Chevy pickup bumper   ....  These are also referred to as 'Texas speed bumps"

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. .... But only one is celebrated with a BBQ ... Texas Rattlesnake Round up ... Many of the snakes are used as 'special ingredient" in chili .... baby snakes make great catfish bait   ... Many of the other snakes make lovely Cowboy Hat bands....

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before. ....  New Yorkers carry Mace on a keychain, Texans carry raid on a keychain ....  ....

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you! ....   and if it flies, It will poop on your newly washed truck ....

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.   ....   not even a cat peeing on it ....

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Onced and twiced are words. ....  much like the now famous word
'git-'er'dun  ....

"Fix-in-to" is one word.

"Coldbeer" is one word.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"   ....  BBQ is a verb, a Noun, and an Adjective  ....

Green grass DOES burn.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.    ....  There are 4 seasons in Texas ... almost summer ... summer ... still summer and Christmas  ....

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally-world."

Smiles and sunshine
That Lil Brat

==============
to doms and subs: When considering someome ... subs are not the only ones under observation and evaluation

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Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others; and
Responsibility for ALL your actions and accept the consquences of your decisions

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RE: Some things I learned living in south Texas - 9/9/2006 2:24:53 PM

CreoleCook

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
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I'm thinkin ye fergot a few, such as...

When yer buddy wants to go to the beach, don't forget to ask if there will be WATER at this beach. Texas is 85% DESERT.

When visiting San Antonio, Texas, don't take a tour bus. The "Might San Antone" is a ditch in that part of the state. However, while on the tour bus, you cross that thing 15 times, and they exclaim that statement every single time...

Do NOT speed on Interstate 10 through the desert. they have these nifty little boxes on the side of the road that take a picture of the ass end of your vehicle, showing the time, date, speed you were travelling, and your license plate very clearly. The picture arrives in the mail 3 days later, along with the speeding violation, sent to your home address.

_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

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RE: Some things I learned living in south Texas - 9/9/2006 6:21:04 PM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
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Spellin' error: "Fix-in-to"

It's Fixn' to

Humidity below 85% is a dry day.

There may be a deluge going on at your house while your next door neighbor's yard is bone dry.

50 degrees within 100 miles or so of Huston, Corpus Christi or Galveston feels like 25-30 degrees north of Okla.

(in reply to CreoleCook)

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