RE: Desire for Sex

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BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/8/2005 10:35:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv I can't tell you how many times i've heard people talk about relationships, where since "sex" didn't work between a couple, it was always the demise of a relationship, and always understandably so. "Well what can you expect, she didnt' give him sex for the last 2 years, of course they should be divorced." It's things like this, which i'd etch into my memory. Of course it would leave me asking myself, since i don't desire "coitus" what chance is there for me that i'll ever be able to make a woman happy in a committed relationship? Feeling more normal, sns Normal is whatever works for you and your partner... I will say that I have noticed 1 or 2 men are much more emotional when they orgasm through bodies connected from coitus. Remember, a lot of people would be more than Happy with any kind of sexual release at home; what happens in vanilla often times is the wife isn't giving up anything whatsoever (sorry if that sounds sexist; I have not met a lot of men, oh hell not even 1 who'd hold out on offer to have coitus/felation, because he was unhappy somehow). M

Jasmyn -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 4:01:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv I wanted to ask this, because it's an issue that's long been with me, that I feel may not be so mainstream. In an attempt to understand it, i'd like to appeal to the community. When i use the term "sex" i speak only of the act of coitus. (Penis in vagina) Sorry for the frankness but it's important we're all on the same page. In a nutshell, what i'd like to know, is do you desire sex, and without it, are your basic needs being met? The reason i ask this question is because i don't desire sex. I'm a very sexual being for sure, but the actual act of coitus is something i really don't strive for. It's very hard to explain really. I'd describe myself as a submissive male, because it sexually excites me to be subservient to a woman, in whatever form that may take. How i'm labeled (hardwired, genuine, real, lifestyle, slave, whatever) seems to change depending on who's defining it. I've always felt sexually different, so it would seem to me, that someone who doesn't feel the same way, wouldn't be compatible with me. I don't use BDSM as a spice to flavour the meal, D/s IS the meal. That said, after discussing my different sexuality with vanilla folk, some would suggest that since i don't desire a basic need to have sex, my sexuality is flawed. Now don't get me wrong, i love orgasms like everyone else, and i simply ADORE servicing my parnter orally, but when it comes to sex, i can take it or leave it. So how important is sex to you and do you desire it? sns Hi strong, great subject ... sex is important to Me but only on intimate and lust needs; been made love too because I want/need some intimacy with someone, or a good hard session because I feel cumming screaming like a banshee or moaning like a porn star; and although I am at My sensual best when in love (or short term in lust) I don't rely on coitus as been the only way of showing it...and I don't think coitus is the only way of (them) proving it (their love for Me). I like the non-sexuality of servitude based male subservience ... I think it is incredibly genuine emotional exchange where there is no 'reward' other than been able to serve. If the subservient is My life long partner ... then no I don't need sex for us to cement the relationship ... but if I want it ... he best be ready, able and more than willing ... or I'll throw him in a chastity belt and find it elsewhere ;) quote: i agree with strong submissiv, i just don't need coitus [thus my name]. That being said i have a question for the group, many people say that coitus in a relationship brings with it emotions that simply cannot be experienced otherwise. Being that we here are in [or deisre to be] in D/s relationships where this may never happen, can those same feelings and dare i say love happen? ebony ebony I think when a D/s relationship reaches a point of total power exchange it transcends sexuality...so yes I do believe a non-coitus focused dominant/subserviant relationship can reach the same lofty heights and bring about the same lofty heights of emotion as sex can. I have felt just as much genuine reciprocal love/lust/emotion with the man inside Me as I have with a man at My feet. For casual subservient partners I have seen/had them cry, overwhelmed with emotion, in the same way I have experienced men cry/whimper in response to intense sex. Love and sex are not the same thing... sex is an act that can be done intimately in an act of love but it does not prove love ... if it did I'd be living a white picket fence dream with the first one night stand I ever had ;) quote: Remember, a lot of people would be more than Happy with any kind of sexual release at home; what happens in vanilla often times is the wife isn't giving up anything whatsoever (sorry if that sounds sexist; I have not met a lot of men, oh hell not even 1 who'd hold out on offer to have coitus/felation, because he was unhappy somehow). M That was pretty sexist ... know a lot of men who withdraw sexually/intimately with their partners...inparticularly guys with sex and intimacy issues ...look at all the submissives in our midst who speak of the 'love' phenomenon where the dom is reluctant to play hard once their emotions come into play... and no not all men will accept coitus/fellatio when it is offered by their partners. Jasmyn

softysub -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 5:33:14 AM)
I've been with my Dom for 3 years and W/we never had sex and W/we are both very satsified with other things that W/we do. As long that W/we both get excited and turned on....for U/s its what counts. [;)] softysub

smilezz -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 6:10:28 AM)
While i believe that sex may not be the basic 'need' for me in my relationship. I will say that it is need...want...desire. I am an extremely sexual creature in this area, i have known for years that this is something i don't want to be without...it's funny that everyone has been telling me since the age of 20 or so, that this will diminish with age. laughs I am 45 years old and it keeps getting worse (so to speak). I want it serveral times a day. I better move onto another topic now, i have not had an adequate amount of coffee yet, and The Man is still sleeping. chucklez Happy Sunday y'all... ~smilezz~

phoenix52 -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 8:36:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessJules quote: So how important is sex to you and do you desire it? You are not alone. I'm a very very very strong fetishist. My fetishes get me off. . .and as far as coitus. . .I can take or leave that too. There are sooooooooooo many things out there that can turn me on. . . cock in pussy is one of them. . .but it definitely isn't the strongest. J i am so glad i'm not the only one!!! Sex is good, but I'd rather have a hard beating followed by permission to play with myself afterward anyday. [:)]

darlyn -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 12:06:13 PM)
quote: So how important is sex to you and do you desire it? it is important to me and i do desire it.... or as i look at it.... there are times the my Master is my Lover, even though my Lover is always my Master, if this makes any sense....

Darthbetta -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 1:48:30 PM)
Sex is Sex. Kinky sex........ that I crave and it is the flair that makes it great. and to use the Parlance of our times...... SEX, Mr. Lebowski do you enjoy it ?

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 2:03:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmyn So how important is sex to you and do you desire it? sns quote: Remember, a lot of people would be more than Happy with any kind of sexual release at home; what happens in vanilla often times is the wife isn't giving up anything whatsoever (sorry if that sounds sexist; I have not met a lot of men, oh hell not even 1 who'd hold out on offer to have coitus/fellatio, because he was unhappy somehow). M quote: That was pretty sexist ... know a lot of men who withdraw sexually/intimately with their partners...inparticularly guys with sex and intimacy issues ...look at all the submissives in our midst who speak of the 'love' phenomenon where the dom is reluctant to play hard once their emotions come into play... and no not all men will accept coitus/fellatio when it is offered by their partners. Yes You are right Jasmyn, It was sexist, but mostly meant to be funny, because though true for me, most of my limited sexual experience, and that of people I'm surrounded by, has been Vanila; mostly horny men wanting some kind of sex, with more women witholding (weather for control/anger reasons), wink. Have a good day, M

ravenna -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 9:00:37 PM)
Do i desire sex? My God, i'm a SEX slave! If i'm not being used for sex, i'm just a waste of good protoplasm (actually, excellent protoplasm, i think). The awful truth is that i don't feel really truly alive unless there's a live hard cock thrusting inside my body somewhere, ANYWHERE, or alert and pointing at me and heading my way, or coming home to open me up, or at the very least dribbling out of me drained and sated and promising to come back soon for more! i've spent some time in chastity belts, and it makes me fuck-crazy like almost nothing else, which of course is the whole point i guess, but i couldn't live without sex forever (one whole day is forever), i'd rather die, and if i were owned by someone who simply stopped fucking me i think i would... ravenna

bottominwa -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/9/2005 9:21:24 PM)
This girl is going to answer this from a sligthly different perspective. Over the course of Master's military career this girl has been left for months on end..the longest point before some sort of leave being 8 months...8 months with no sex. Being an extremely sexual person in the beginning this was nearly a deal breaker for Us. But over time another part of your post has become realized in this girl...basic "needs". Much of at one time she would have considered basic, even primal, "needs" she has learned to be rather "desires", "urges" or "wants'. Basic needs being just that, things one "needs" to survive. We need limited amounts of food, sleep, water and human contact to a certain extent to "survive". Much of what is servitude, atleast here and the girls this one knows...or what some refer to as "slavery" is learning the distinct difference between "needs", "wants" and "desires". she then doesn't see any reason why "coitus" in and of itself is a basic "need". Intimacy is a basic human need, W/we desire to be intimate with one another, to commune...but there are so many infinite amount of ways to acheive intimacy then "coitus". Now in abotu a week giv eor take this girl is going to get that "desire" met...and oh Lordy there is no sex, none in this world like sex you have been waitign for for months on end and not sure you would ever get again....[:D] Be well, sabrina King House of King

ARoseAndAnEye -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/12/2005 10:05:43 AM)
quote: That's why a vanilla relationship does not satisfy me in the least. Since delving into bdsm, I think it is hillarious to hear a vanilla man try to flirt with you. Amen. 'nuff said. ~anna

subbiejenn -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/12/2005 10:53:54 AM)
quote: Very well said. I enjoy the plethora of other activities and actually orgasm better orally, however, I still need the occasional coitus to stay deeply intimate with the man I love. I would really miss it if we didn't connect that way. i agree with Sweet on this -- i can cum harder other ways and be sexually satisfied but i need the intimacy also. Inserting Tab A in Tab B isn't sexually all that gratifying for me but it forms a bond. I feel very close with a Dom when i submit but "sex" forms a different kind of bond or intimacy. i don't need or want "sex" all the time but it is something i desire sometimes. ~jenn~

masterofsolace -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/13/2005 10:43:17 AM)
sex is sex... dominance/submissiveness is, can or should be a seperate issue. If one is to please the other, sex may or may not happen. For me the issue of sex is not the breaking point, it is dominance and control. A girls gifts should go far beyond her vagina. Her mind, soul and nature are much more important.

sprite67 -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/13/2005 12:47:32 PM)
I agree... while orgasms come most easily in ways other than coitus, I would choose actual sex over any other type of contact when what I'm craving is intimacy, which is often. My true preference, of course, is to not be in a position to choose....

SwitchNCgal -> RE: Desire for Sex (1/13/2005 3:01:51 PM)
So far I've only seen guys or gals answering so I'll give you the option of a TG ok a pre-op TS M-to-F (ie have not had corrective surgery yet and a Male becoming a Female). well soon I'll start a horomone cotail that w=ill amoung other things make me go through a second puberty. But it will make me unable to "get it up" and by 6 monthes or so sterile. It also has the possiblity of making my sexual parnter prefence from women, ot both, or even to men only! So I guess for me sex and a lot of girls like me, is that we can take it or leave it. For if my prefence stays the same I'll never engage in that because my parntner will have the same equipment as me (vagina, as i will not enter a serious relationship until after transitioning from male life to female life), to it could be something I engage in from time to time, to I NEED it because of a 180 in my prefrences. If you wnat to know more about TGs please feel free to ask I won't be offended as long as it is asked politely. If this seems hard to understand I'm sorry but I hope that this helps those that read it what Transexuals (TS) go though and how we can't afford to want one thing or another as we lose that control in a way we all SUBMIT to the rewiring of our brains to become what we feel we are in the inside in our quest to make the body conform to the mind. But we all submit in someway to societies standards , even if it is only to hide our true selves from the rest of society but for me and those like me we have something esle we desire, want, need above else................. to blend in as our mind's sex into society and disappear. a girl trapped in a boy's body hoping to one day be a whole girl someday over the rainbow

chainedgirl -> RE: Desire for Sex (3/4/2005 5:05:12 AM)
Can i live without sex? not forever. Its slightly a different take for me, i crave sex like you wouldn't believe, but not because i want it. If its about me, then i rather have a good wank and go to sleep. No, i crave sex as a form of service to Master or those He chooses. i much prefer to orally service men and women then to either be orally serviced back or f*cked! But havig said that, i do get to a point in arousal where i simply must have that c0ck inside me!

nightmans -> RE: Desire for Sex (3/4/2005 8:41:06 AM)
sure i look for sex and it feel great but know i have grealy pleesed my dommie is much better just know there happy if i happen to have sex to due it that's fine too but i don't need it sure i would rather have it but if i hade to i could live with out it i just need enuff to stop blueball's and i'am all good

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Desire for Sex (3/4/2005 12:08:05 PM)
quote: I wanted to ask this, because it's an issue that's long been with me, that I feel may not be so mainstream. In an attempt to understand it, i'd like to appeal to the community. When i use the term "sex" i speak only of the act of coitus. (Penis in vagina) Sorry for the frankness but it's important we're all on the same page. In a nutshell, what i'd like to know, is do you desire sex, and without it, are your basic needs being met? Oh hell yes, I desire sex. I desire it a whole lot. I can't imagine not desiring it and I wonder why I wouldn't. I'm very comfortable with the thought of coitus in it's varied and sundry forms. quote: The reason i ask this question is because i don't desire sex. I'm a very sexual being for sure, but the actual act of coitus is something i really don't strive for. It's very hard to explain really. I'd describe myself as a submissive male, because it sexually excites me to be subservient to a woman, in whatever form that may take. How i'm labeled (hardwired, genuine, real, lifestyle, slave, whatever) seems to change depending on who's defining it. Hrm...I've known other men who didn't desire standard sex either. However, I found very quickly that I wasn't built to be with a man who wasn't willing or able to express intimacy without coitus (I feel very Catholic typing 'coitus' ~grin~) quote: I've always felt sexually different, so it would seem to me, that someone who doesn't feel the same way, wouldn't be compatible with me. I don't use BDSM as a spice to flavour the meal, D/s IS the meal. Hrm. Interesting. I'd like a side of coitus with that... ~grin~ quote: <SNIP> So how important is sex to you and do you desire it? I didn't realize how important sex (tab A/slot B sex) was until I was with someone who loved me, kept me, collared me, but for various reasons (of which he insisted had nothing to do with me, but however fucked my head up for a good long time) didn't have sex with me. I quickly learned how important that level of intimacy is, how much my wiring depends on it, especially when I love someone and it is denied. I could never be involved with someone to the extent that they collared me without a healthy amount of sex in the relationship. I've been on the other side, and I'm simply not capable of being happy and content and serene without it. I guess that makes me just another f*cker... ~grins~ Lily

Darthbetta -> RE: Desire for Sex (3/4/2005 1:58:06 PM)
I run hot and cold. It all depends on my energy level, and if i have enough good whiskey in my system LOL. nothing better than the O'l 4 hour whiskey dickings LMAO !

Manawyddan -> RE: Desire for Sex (3/5/2005 5:58:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessJules quote: Having gone without sex for the past 8 years I can say that I really don't miss it. WOW! That just make me want to have sex with you. . . Damn, where were you when I'd been celibate for 12 years? For my part, all I really 'need' is some physical warmth and intimacy, as well as some time brutalising my partner. I'd be unhappy if I didn't have coitus for a whole year or something, but otherwise it's not such a deal to me.

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