How do I.....

How do I..... (Full Version)

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gsg -> How do I..... (9/11/2006 8:25:14 AM)
How do I let a man know that I want him to take control? I am a bi man and I have a gay friend that is interested in me. He has asked me to sleep with him several times. Every time I tell him "no". However, I really want to but I am purposely playing hard to get because I have a fantasy of him just taking me despite my rejections to his advances. So, how do I hint to him that I want him to take initiative without blatantly telling him to? I want to be his sub but I just don't think he is getting it. He backs off every time I reject him, yet we flirt all the time.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 8:31:57 AM)
Stop playing games and just tell him already. Sit down with time just between you two and explain yourself.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 8:36:11 AM)
LA's advice is best. However, if you simply cannot make yourself do this face to face, write him a note or letter. Realize, though, this is just a bandaid on the situation...it does not teach you to communicate effectively face to face. You need to learn to do that in order to have lasting, meaningful relationships. Master Fire

gsg -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 9:12:32 AM)
Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it. I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 9:33:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gsg Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it. I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point. You might also think that you don't really want him to control you- you want him to play the game that you want played. The only way you can get him to play your game fairly is to let him know what the game is.

gsg -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 9:42:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: gsg Thanks, LA. I am trying to get the nerve up to talk to him about it. I never thought that my game playing might be preventing things from going forward. I just really wanted it to go the way I envisioned. I know that if I say something to him things will definitely move forward but I wonder if it will be as good for me since I guided him to that point. You might also think that you don't really want him to control you- you want him to play the game that you want played. The only way you can get him to play your game fairly is to let him know what the game is. I do see it being more of cat and mouse thing rather than a control thing for the time being. Although, it could go to a dom/sub situation later. I am having such a hard time getting up the nerve to talk to him about it though. Just don't know where to start.

sub4hire -> RE: How do I..... (9/11/2006 10:49:31 AM)
Why don't you show him your post here? Let him figure it out. It amazes me how people can open up to complete strangers yet cannot open up to friends or companions in life.

DivaDuchess -> RE: How do I..... (9/17/2006 3:04:41 PM)
Jeez ... just tell the poor man for heaven's sake lol ... He can't read your mind. He will not know you wish to belong to him if you don't tell him. Generally ... no means no. If you tell him ... no, expect him to take you at your word. Flirting after a negative response just confuses him and blurs the lines of what you want. Just TELL HIM.

OhReallyNow -> RE: How do I..... (9/17/2006 3:32:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Stop playing games and just tell him already. Sit down with time just between you two and explain yourself. *this slave could not add anything of more importance that what LuckyAlbatross said.*

petcerina -> RE: How do I..... (9/17/2006 4:55:35 PM)
In essence, you are wanting this man to break the law, and risk going to jail for you after you call rape. He has no idea of your intentions. Men, and some women for that matter, do not get hints at all. On top of that, would you jump some girl if she kept flirting with you, but you kept saying no? i know it's going to be hard to get up the guts to do this, but you won't believe the weight it will take off of your sholders. Oh, and the best part about this is, you can still play the game after you tell him. If you don't know when he's going to "rape" you, wouldn't that still make it fun?

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