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The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 11:49:43 AM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		As a person whose sexuality is wholly CONSUMED by BDSM, and who can't get fully aroused unless sadomasochism is incorporated into a physical encounter, I feel a tad bit pissed about men on this site, who come here with the sole intent of "findin' a freaky bitch to hook up with."  I'm a fan of the casual encounter, just like any young, virile, decent-looking fellow - but the target audience of this site happens to be people who are BDSM enthusiasts........ not the "stick it in the cooter until you blow a load" crowd.

Am I being too much of a dickhead by suggesting that CollarMe be limited to ACTUAL BDSMers, instead of acting as a personals site for vanilla men to hook up with "weird chicks"?

I'm not trying to push the idea that we should be some super-exclusive, transgressive group of elitists, but a straight man doesn't walk into a lesbian bar, and start trying to hit up femme gals.............so why should vanilla boys be looking for hook-ups here?

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 9/12/2006 11:54:01 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 11:53:52 AM   
Kahri


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm curious - as a straight man, why do you care what other men are looking for?

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 11:55:36 AM   
TreSwank


Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		The same thing would apply to vanilla women, if they displayed the same kind of behavior.  Fortunately, most girls don't write profiles that consist of

                   "Yo, I'm Crystal, and am lookin' for a boy who likes to eat da' snapper-roonie".   (Femine equivalent of........"Hey, I'm Jerry, and I want to find little gals out there who like to suck big, hard cocks.  Oh yeah!!!!!!!)

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 9/12/2006 12:00:27 PM >

(in reply to Kahri)
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RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 11:57:01 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, I thought straight men 'do' on occasion go into lesbian bars because they think they 'can'.

Aside from that, sure it would be great to limit those here that are serious.  But there are new people here too.  Some of them fall in and drown with the rest of us, the others dip in their toes and say it's too hot for them.

Now, to eliminate the male (and probably a few female) snerts along the way, who can be the traffic cop?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to TreSwank)
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RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 11:59:44 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Because they want to.  This isn't a bar.  This is cyberland.  This is a personals site.  Different media, completely different rules for initial contact. 

And, for the record, a great majority of doms really ARE the "blow me anytime I want it, do my laundry, call me master, make me dinner, let me fuck who I want and don't give me any backtalk about anything" type.

There's no concrete definition of vanilla.  If someone wants to put up a profile here and troll, that's up to them. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TreSwank)
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RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 12:08:24 PM   
MistressTheaZ


Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

As a person whose sexuality is wholly CONSUMED by BDSM, and who can't get fully aroused unless sadomasochism is incorporated into a physical encounter, I feel a tad bit pissed about men on this site, who come here with the sole intent of "findin' a freaky bitch to hook up with."  I'm a fan of the casual encounter, just like any young, virile, decent-looking fellow - but the target audience of this site happens to be people who are BDSM enthusiasts........ not the "stick it in the cooter until you blow a load" crowd.

Am I being too much of a dickhead by suggesting that CollarMe be limited to ACTUAL BDSMers, instead of acting as a personals site for vanilla men to hook up with "weird chicks"?

I'm not trying to push the idea that we should be some super-exclusive, transgressive group of elitists, but a straight man doesn't walk into a lesbian bar, and start trying to hit up femme gals.............so why should vanilla boys be looking for hook-ups here?


Wherever someone feels there are possibilities - no matter how foolish the reasoning - they'll be there. If the lesbian bars here didn't outright ban men, they'd be there in droves. They certainly are at the bi femme parties! Particularly if those possibilities include the slim chance of having some fantasy fulfilled....whether it's their cup of tea or not.

It would be impossible to separate who 'qualifies', IMO, as a legit BDSM'er. There are those who have fetishes, those who primarily enjoy scening, those who enjoy a part-time dynamic, those who live a D/s lifestyle, those seeking a servitude relationship only, those seeking D/s within a personal relationship, so on....and every combination thereof possible in-between. Different strokes for different folks.

I know it can get annoying to receive non-applicable inquiries from vanilla/french vanilla folks, but I think it's just part of the process of sifting through the possibilities, (just as there will be those whose kinks you don't share or those who incorporate their interest into the lifestyle differently than you would.) That, and becoming friendly with 'delete' and 'ignore'. If no one indulges those just seeking a freaky hookup, I'd tend to think they wander back to AFF or a similar site anyhow...



~Thea

(in reply to TreSwank)
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RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 12:25:47 PM   
GentleDominantx2


Posts: 34
Joined: 12/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline 		If only life were this simple. The idiots should wear idiot signs, but then, we'd be centred out for profiling ;)
Devil's Advocate here...we're supposed to be a lifestyle of non-judgemental people. Mmhmm, yep.

Silver

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 1:03:29 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I can only be an exception that proves a rule.

Real thing and an Asshole.

Hope this is not too stark.

Ron



_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 1:13:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Magazines like Maxim have, in the past, actually published articles that said, "If you want a hot woman in bed, find a Mistress." Plus, all of the kinky vanilla porn shows us parading around in thigh highs and what not, "punishing" bad boys by playing with their cocks. Not that this is necessarily a BAD thing, but some people actually accept what they see in porn as the norm (hence they constantly have penis envy, which makes them unwilling to show it, which makes them wank to more porn, which....). Oh, and then there's the thing about how dating a bi woman automatically equals threesome for the man...with two other women...who are both doing him.  I'm stopping before I get started...

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 9/12/2006 1:14:45 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 1:15:37 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I'm surprised at you tres wank - u honestly think straight man dont go into lesbian bars and attempt to chat the women up. I have told men im gay and it only makes them try harder.
As for who can use the site or not it would be very hard to weed out the men looking for a freaky fuck from the real bdsmers.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 3:43:31 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		Ahhh yes, because every lesbian secretly knows, in her heart of hearts, that it only takes the right drunken idiot to turn her straight again :P  In any case, I very much agree with Lucky Albatross on this one... At least you don't find such a preponderance of Dommes saying things like "you will pleasure me orally whenever I demand it etc etc." They certainly are out there, but are a relative minority compared to the Doms who expect a sexual play toy who also has a domestic mode. I think a great deal of men (more the Doms than subs) on this site are "vanilla" as you say. I have no doubt that there are also a great deal of real men here too. But hey.

(in reply to missturbation)
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RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 4:37:36 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

Ahhh yes, because every lesbian secretly knows, in her heart of hearts, that it only takes the right drunken idiot to turn her straight again :P  In any case, I very much agree with Lucky Albatross on this one... At least you don't find such a preponderance of Dommes saying things like "you will pleasure me orally whenever I demand it etc etc." They certainly are out there, but are a relative minority compared to the Doms who expect a sexual play toy who also has a domestic mode. I think a great deal of men (more the Doms than subs) on this site are "vanilla" as you say. I have no doubt that there are also a great deal of real men here too. But hey.


Actually, I've seen ads from "Dommes" who say that very thing....but I've suspected that they weren't really posted by females, but by the same type of males that treswank speaks of. 

quote:


And, for the record, a great majority of doms really ARE the "blow me anytime I want it, do my laundry, call me master, make me dinner, let me fuck who I want and don't give me any backtalk about anything" type.


BUT, for every dom who wants this, there seems to be a "slave" or "sub" willing to take him up on his offer.

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The Real Thing vs. Assholes - 9/12/2006 4:46:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		What about the vanilla guys that find a freaky kinky chick that blows their minds and converts them to the lifestyle?

I have talked to a few guys that were not completely 24-7 doms, more of the bedroom variety that want some kinky sex with a good relationship. I would not really call these guys more than tops (isn't my place to call them anything mind you).

Perhaps your problem is with the disrespect of emailing someone for a fuck like this was Ault Friend Finder? I can see how some people would have trouble identifying the difference at first glance. It goes back to the complaints from subs about men emailing them for webcam and pussy. Hey, look at where your looking for a mate, some people think it is just a sex site, and the ads on the personals side really make it seem even more so. To some it IS just about sex.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TreSwank)
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RE: The Real Thing - 9/12/2006 5:02:13 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

Am I being too much of a dickhead by suggesting that CollarMe be limited to ACTUAL BDSMers, instead of acting as a personals site for vanilla men to hook up with "weird chicks"?



I certainly understand what you mean. As accurate as the umbrella acronym is, I tend to avoid using it to describe what I love, lest someone get the wrong idea. BDSM, as it is popularly assumed, is nothing more than a three-ring circus sideshow (of freaks).

Maynard's lyrics intentionally insinuated.




< Message edited by amayos -- 9/12/2006 5:38:11 PM >

(in reply to TreSwank)
Profile   Post #: 14
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