Fantasies and Fears (Full Version)

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GambitLeBeau -> Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 1:18:35 PM)

I'm just wondering how common it is that s person's particular fantasy is the same or very similar to a fear?

I ask mainly because it applies to me. As a submissive I enjoy being restrained, and I generally love the idea of losing control and non-consentual submission to a woman/female (that last thread is making me paranoid now!)

However, my main phobia is to lose control. I despise being unable to do anything about a situation, and I hate the frustration. In an ironic twist, a strait-jacket would probably send me insane.

So is this common? Does anyone else have a similar set of fears and fetishes?

Cheers.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 1:38:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GambitLeBeau
So is this common? Does anyone else have a similar set of fears and fetishes?

Cheers.

Depends on how deep the fear goes, or what it's related to, but yes.  That's why we have "fear play."

Playing with fear can be a great way to get over them or see them in a new light or just have a really freakin intense experience (though, as generally considered a form of edge play, should not be undertaken lightly).

Amusement parks are built and survive on the concept that people want controlled intense experiences.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_500881/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#501690
fear?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_293376/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#293681
shadow play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_146628/mpage_1/key_fear/tm.htm#146646
fear




GambitLeBeau -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 1:46:57 PM)

Hm. That makes sense. I believe I'm thinking slightly differently (though it could in essense stem from the same), in that I don't feel the fear in a submissive state of mind, just the pleasureable aspect.

The amusement park comment links well to what I'm feeling though.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 1:51:28 PM)

Perhaps it's because when you are not in a scene or in a submissive headspace, you feel controlled and safe.  It is under these conditions in which your fear can become an outlet for connection. 

Your insecurities create the fear, the submission controls the fear.  It is born, and then it is molded. 

Maybe.



GambitLeBeau -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 1:59:35 PM)

Maybe.

I feel, with me at least, that it's because the helpless situation would be brought on of my own accord, and that my own judgment means that I'd be able to trust that I'd be safely able to come out of the situation relatively unharmed.

I'm just curious as to others' view on the subject.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:24:53 PM)

I used to be scared of a lot of what it is i really wanted to learn... But I am no longer afraid I trust my Master with every fiber of my beeing I know He wont hurt me and so fear about anything in this lifestyle is no longer a real issue.

Magik's Switch



siouxie -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:35:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GambitLeBeau

I'm just wondering how common it is that s person's particular fantasy is the same or very similar to a fear?



can't speak for others, but i know mine is. it is also, in part, based upon something that happened to me when i was a teenager. nope - i don't understand the psychology of it.



michaelGA2 -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:40:35 PM)

i have a fantasy which i am very reluctant to pursue as it deals with restraint and rape (by females only). one of the main things i fear is that, while restrained, one of my biggest hard limits would be broken and would damage me perminantly for life. (that of someone sneaking a guy into the scene...which would send me to a nut house)



GambitLeBeau -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:51:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i have a fantasy which i am very reluctant to pursue as it deals with restraint and rape (by females only). one of the main things i fear is that, while restrained, one of my biggest hard limits would be broken and would damage me perminantly for life. (that of someone sneaking a guy into the scene...which would send me to a nut house)


I can empathise with that exact scenario. You just need to do it with somebody you know you can truly trust.



michaelGA2 -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:57:14 PM)

right now, there isn't anyone i know or trust enough to even think about it. so it remains a fantasy.



GambitLeBeau -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 3:59:12 PM)

S'fair enough.

Hopefully you'll find the right person to provide you with what you crave, and who you can make happy.



pinkee -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 4:10:12 PM)

ah, the line between desire and dread.......it's delicious to have Someone ya trust walk along it......and terrible to be taken there unwillingly.  pinkee



GambitLeBeau -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 4:17:57 PM)

It's lucky the text is big and bright. Your avatar is rather a distraction!



ownedgirlie -> RE: Fantasies and Fears (9/12/2006 10:35:42 PM)

I used to fantasize about the things I feared, yet intrigued me.  As was previously pointed out, when experienced with a trusted one, such fears can be faced and even enjoyed.  I say "used to" because most of those fantasies have been realized.  Those that haven't been, likely will be at some point.  Fantasy can be mental and emotional exploration of a situation.  I encourage it.



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