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Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 12:42:10 AM   
subinutah


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Hello,

I am curious if others here have ever slipped into subspace and ended up playing/scening without SSC negotiations or talk?

A little back fill... I have attended local BDSM classes/meets/parties for months now, met and even scened with several different people there. But this was the first time I EVER hit subspace in public, and without planning, so when "He" grabbed my throat just right... well, I was gone. It wasn't until the play got hard enough to trigger a thought to the protection of my baby (I'm pregnant and he was starting some light trampling) that I piped up with a reminder of that fact. Even then , I was in the fog.

Has that happened to others? Do you feel I'm in danger of myself if that happened? (Yes, He and I had scened lightly and chatted alot before, so we knew the basics of each others likes and limits)

Also, I was surprised that one thing I had considered in my mind to be a hard-limit, in that moment... wasn't. Has that happened to others as well?

Thank you for any thoughts.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 12:50:48 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		You said you reminded him of the fact you were pregnant - so maybe he got caught up in the moment as well and forgot?  one would recommend you had a third party watch the next play session in case something like that should happen again.  You also said breath play was a hard limit - yet he did it anyway when you were in subspace?  Did you really discuss this as a hard limit, or was this just brought up in a general conversation? 

one thinks that you need to be more specific with the person that you are playing with as far as your limits, and your pregnancy.  There is a big difference between having a conversation during the munch/play party and sitting down and discussing limits prior to play. 

one's hard limits are hard limits, only to be pushed by one's Master - without exception.  No, we don't have to discuss Him pushing these limits prior to Him doing it - one trusts that He will know when the time is right. 

(in reply to subinutah)
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RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 1:42:54 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Spontaneous SM play happens.  Myself, I've had some amazing scenes at events like Black Rose or Dungeon 901 where someone was hinting at something (communicating a desire) and indicating that *I* was desired target.  Non-verbal communication such as body language, eye contact and protection (or non-protection) of personal space often serves as good clues to go on.  (That's why having your own decent people radar helps immensely!)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subinutah)
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RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 4:57:24 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Yes. I enter subspace very easily and this happened to me the first time I ever played. Fortunately it went well.. Subsequent scenes did not. I was brand new and didn't know it wasn't supposed to be like that. He didn't know what had happened and didn't know I was agreeing to things I was in no state to agree to.

(in reply to MisPandora)
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RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 6:00:57 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subinutah

Hello,

I am curious if others here have ever slipped into subspace and ended up playing/scening without SSC negotiations or talk?



I am curious if you considered the potentially devastating ramifications of play with someone who does not know you well enough to subtle cues that you are no longer capable of safewording, especially while carrying an unborn child I assume you intend to carry to term.

If you are so vulnerable to the Powers of Domliness that someone grabbing your throat leads you to abandon all common sense, perhaps you should stay out of the clubs.

I mean I hate to come off all "tsk tsk" but that was just plain careless.
And by careless, I mean stupid.



_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to subinutah)
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RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 7:36:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well, yes it was wrong of you to allow yourself to go that deeply when you had so many health issues to worry about.  You got lucky this time.

And it was wrong of him to take advantage of the situation as it was.

Spontaneous play isn't a bad thing, getting caught up in the moment isn't a bad thing, and letting yourself go so deep isn't a bad thing.

But since you hadn't covered the basics when you have a severe health concern to deal with- both of you were at fault for letting your heady emotions come before good sense.  Cover the basics and THEN let yourselves go, knowing you are secure in what's ok and what's not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subinutah)
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RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 9:45:12 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Has that happened to others? Do you feel I'm in danger of myself if that happened? (Yes, He and I had scened lightly and chatted alot before, so we knew the basics of each others likes and limits)

Also, I was surprised that one thing I had considered in my mind to be a hard-limit, in that moment... wasn't. Has that happened to others as well?

Thank you for any thoughts.


Reason # 1,243 why "safe-words" are useless.

Reason # 8,379 why you should have and need to have intimate knowledge and a degree of emotional connection with the people you scene.

(in reply to subinutah)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/13/2006 9:20:58 PM   
subinutah


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for your comments. I guess I should have stated the play was light and sporatic, not hard, and that nothing happened that could have been considered a health risk.  (He didn't actually cut off my breath, nor actually step on my body.) We had discussed a safe word - before the first rope was put on me, but I did not ever feel it was neccesary. I was able to converse and speak my concerns without stopping the scene. Sorry if I didn't express that well.

Breath play is not my hard limit, sorry if that came across that way. That was another thing.

I apologize if I seem stupid, hope I didn't totally offend everyone.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/14/2006 12:30:39 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		While you are pregnant breath play should be a hard limit............................

(in reply to subinutah)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/14/2006 12:34:37 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		What is "light trampling" if not stepping even lightly on your body? 

(in reply to subinutah)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/14/2006 12:42:07 AM   
subinutah


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		Respectfully,

I asked my doctor flat out about breath play, he said that the fetus is safe as long as I do not have my breath completely shut off. Having it restricted for a moment or even minutes at a time (as long as I am not seeing spots or feeling faint) will NOT hurt the baby. So therefore, I do not feel like it needs to be a hard limit, but that is only my opinion.

He put his foot on my butt, and rocked my body, I just wanted to be sure he remember the babe, and didn't proceed up my back.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Playing in Subspace on Accident - 9/14/2006 6:00:56 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subinutah

Thank you for your comments. I guess I should have stated the play was light and sporatic, not hard, and that nothing happened that could have been considered a health risk.  (He didn't actually cut off my breath, nor actually step on my body.) We had discussed a safe word - before the first rope was put on me, but I did not ever feel it was neccesary. I was able to converse and speak my concerns without stopping the scene. Sorry if I didn't express that well.

That's clearly not how you communicated what happened to us.  You said there was no negotiation and he grabbed you by the throat, choking you.  The way you've now painted it is vastly different....

And I'm sorry love, trampling is not some "simple" or "light" play!

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to subinutah)
Profile   Post #: 12
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