MaamJay
Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
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OK, My take on this. I am a switch, or I prefer to think of Myself as a Duality ... I am happiest functioning as both sub and Domme at the same time. However at the moment I am seeking a new sub, but that's another story! This part is going to be complicated enough as it is!
When I first met He who is now my Master, (We lived on opposite sides of Australia and met online), We talked as co-equal Dominants ... sharing stories about subs. He had a particularly troublesome "sub" (superbrat more like) and My "sort of sub hubby at the time" was giving Me plenty of grief too. We had plenty to talk about! He said that while He was primarily Dominant He knew He had a slightly subby slutty side, and asked Me to take charge of that a little, direct it through tasks etc. It took a bit of persuading, but I eventually agreed. At that time, my sub side was in the care of a Master in a LDR which was intended to become realtime when possible.
Then all hell broke loose simultaneously for both of Us! His superbrat ran off to USA (from Eastern Australia) to be with another man (not a Dominant). And my "LDR Master" decided to dump me 3 days before my birthday for another sub. So His Dominant side and my sub side were both very wounded and went into retreat, and Our "other" sides came to the fore. We began to talk much more on the phone supporting each other. Within a month there was the opportunity to meet for 5 days in a city more or less between Us both ... I recognised this was a window of opportunity unlikely to be repeated, so We made the plans and put them in place. As much as anything, he was keen to submit to "prove" to himself that it wasn't as impossible as subs seemed to make it! For Myself, My Dominant side needed to work with someone who wasn't as incredibly self-absorbed as My hubby.
We met ... and he had the flu! Poor man, he was terribly sick, yet despite that, put in an amazing effort. Nothing quite as heartwarming as returning to Your hotel room after a conference session to hear someone literally fall out of bed so he would be on his knees ready to greet Me! he served Me well, completed the tasks I set for him while I was at the conference, and We had some great play sessions too. It was amazing to Me how quickly and powerfully We connected ... I know that My love for him was born that week. I shed tears when it came time for airport goodbyes. I still loved him when I got the flu just after I returned home!
That week turned out to be a tremendously healing time for both of Us. While We stuck to My Dominant name (Jay) and his sub name (minor as opposed to His Dominant name at the time, Major ... We're both musicians!) for about the next month, the conversations gradually changed as Our "other" sides healed and came out again. We began speculating what it would be like for me to sub to Him. Because of my deep love of all things purple, He began calling me violet ... and He reverted to Major. In one conversation i called Him Master ... not consciously, it just slipped out ... twice. He did a double take ... asked if i realised what i'd said. Scrolling back, i checked (sometimes IM has its uses!), and said it felt right. We haven't looked back. When We next got together just 4 months after that first meeting, We thought at first We might spend half the time one way and half the other. But once We met and i began subbing to Him ... well they were just an awesome 11 days and We KNEW We couldn't and wouldn't switch. He was now Master and that's all there was to it and i was the happiest i could be. 4 months later He visited here for 3 weeks, the decision was taken for Him to move here (for lots of good reasons) and 3 months after that (nearly a year after that first meeting), He moved here. W/we have now lived together for over 2 years 24/7, and are very happy as Master and sub/slave (i'm between both definitions!). Just 3 months ago He collared me to Him.
Has He ever felt the urge to sub again? No! While We fondly remember that time (and i admit, i do tell Him what a wonderful sub he was and how much I enjoyed smacking his ass, usually with sneaky swats at said part!), there is truthfully no way I would want to switch back. He is my Master (and now also Master of Jay's activities by My choice) and that's how I want it to stay. We have agreed that should He ever feel the need to sub, He would seek out another Domme to take control of that, but We don't see it as likely. Yet both of Us feel the benefit of that experience, for His Dominance and my submission. It was a very powerful way for Our relationship to begin.
So there is a positive experience with a Dom who subbed ... just didn't end up as either of Us would have initially predicted LOL! But then, I am one for never saying never ...
Mistress Jay aka violet[A] (Master's using His real initial for the collar!)
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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)
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