dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (Full Version)

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servantnj -> dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/9/2005 2:13:11 PM)

another question that i had for quite some time now. As submissive male, mostly service orientated, i dont understand the dynamics of sceene, when submissive male is laying on the bed, horse, whatever and enjoying himself (concidering pain is pleasure for us), while dominant is working, and working hard around him for hours of complicated bondage, or something simmilar....should't it be the other way around. Should't male get up and work to please his dominant partner, while she is relaxing.




GoddessJules -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/9/2005 2:16:26 PM)

Most view the type of scene you described above as "play". . .and is often considered a reward. It isn't like (well I'll only speak for myself here) that I'm engaged in that type of scene for long extended periods of time.

ALSO. . .some dominants (who also consider themselves tops) ENJOY that kind of thing. . .so even if it is *work*. . .it is something that they get off on. Why should they deprive themselves of the pleasure?


J



MissRita -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/9/2005 5:40:35 PM)

I have to agree with you Jules. It is the same with an extended flogging. As I watch My boy begin to quiver in his efforts to take all that I have to give it is quite arousing and invigorating. Yes, I do break a sweat, but it is My pleasure, My outlet, the reason I am top and he is bottom. The exchange we seek is in place. He is giving and I am taking. Now when it comes to housework...*smiles*...he will be the one sweating!

`· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´Miss Rita-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*



CTclay -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/9/2005 9:42:52 PM)

I can understand exactly what Goddess Jules and Miss Rita are saying, but I've sometimes felt as if I were being selfish as the one who was supposed to be still during a scene -- as if I wasn't working hard enough and should have something to do. But it's just a feeling, not something rational, so I always thought of it as part of the normal emotional shake-up of a perverted lifestyle.

Servantnj, if you have a domme who likes service, you know that you'll be doing plenty for her. For me, giving a good massage to my domme felt like something equivalent to a scene (because SHE was the one laying back, doing nothing but relaxing, and I was the one doing the work -- and even making decisions about it), and it always gratified me to be able to do that. Like a scene, it was very physical, the action was very one-sided and it reinforced feelings of an exchange of power (that is, I felt very submissive -- I'm not sure that it made my domme feel more dominant; maybe she just loved it for what it was).

If I were with a domme who didn't want service, or hardly any of it, I'd feel lousy -- being worked on in a scene just isn't enough. Then again, I think it's hard for a domme to refuse if you offer to make her life easier, isn't it?

Just remember: They also serve who only stand and take it.




ProtagonistLily -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/10/2005 3:34:34 PM)

I'm a Femme Domme and I definately enjoy this kind of thing...

Lily



BeachMystress -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/10/2005 7:27:08 PM)


Um.... in my book, if the Dominant partner has the sub doing what they want.. be it laying there tied or running in circles getting sweaty it is perfect submissive service. Who are you to judge the people who enjoy playing with men in a way you don't understand? It should be however the Dominant wants it; not how YOU feel she should have it



nella -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/10/2005 7:47:43 PM)

i like play, it is some of the things in BDSM and D/s that both i and my Dom enyoys.



willing2serve -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/10/2005 7:48:20 PM)

WOW...very good post servantnj, I too have felt guilty for all the time involved during intricate rope bondage or extended play. I think that is the submissive side of wanting to serve and please and in actuality I had to realize that I was pleasing, which is part of the exchange. For after all, the play wouldnt ensue unless directed by the Dom/Domme.

I will admit I have tried to do things after the play to make up for the time he spent with me. Addressing more of his needs. So it all goes full circle into happiness and bliss...Gosh, AINT life grand..(big smile).

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1



nella -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/10/2005 7:54:55 PM)

i could never do this i think, i do not feel guilty if my Dom play whit me, i like getting atention, also after a play session, usualy we snuggel up, if he has been rough he comforts me, and i feel absolutly no guilt aboute it.



phoenix52 -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/12/2005 5:32:49 AM)


Funny, this thought occured to me just last night.... i was tied face down on the bed, laying there relaxing and trying to prepare for subspace, while my Master was up gathering toys and starting the "soundtracK" for the evening.

i came to the decision that it equals out because He has the right to beat me as hard as he wants, whenever He wants (and last night was a doozy!). i have no idea why he enjoys these things, but i know he really does, and i know he appreicates having someone to "take it out on".

(Don't confuse my statement above, i enjoy BDSM immensely, i just don't "get" what is in it for the dom/mes).

shannon



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/15/2005 10:11:17 PM)

What Jules said. There is a difference between play and lifestyle. 95% of what you will do for Me is anything I might normally pay for such as housekeeping, doing laundry, running errands, maintaining the car, handling yardwork, and the more personal care I desire and deserve. These are all vanilla in nature. Why are you doing this for Me? If you are doing it because you truly have the soul of a slave and it fulfills you. that is what I seek. If you are doing it so you can get the reward of playtime, I will know it, and you will know it and no one is happy.
I love to play...when I am in the mood. It is not work for Me. It is fun! If it is fun for you too, isn't that wonderful??



DiamondDiva -> RE: dominant sweating and submissive laying, is there something wrong here (1/16/2005 11:02:50 AM)

Think of this also, yes being a Domme Mistress who very much enjoys my sub laying there and doing nothing [so it seems] and enjoying himself I am very much into orgasm denial. So, as relaxing as it may seem it is also very painful for him to try not to orgasm until I give permission and his attempts to do so are very much satisfying to me. So, as the sub you really need to understand where the pleasure is coming from. We don't always have to be the one doing nothing, because in all actuality what you consider nothing may very well be satisfaction for us.

Just a thought!



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