siouxie
Posts: 1725
Joined: 4/19/2006 From: Southwest UK Status: offline
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thank you, Daddysredhead, thank you all on these boards for being so kind with your words, and indeed for putting up with me for this long. I have been working so damn hard over the last two years to not criticise myself in conversations, as i am well aware that it lowers further any opinion that other people have of me. i have always been of the mentality, however, of getting there first - slating myself before someone else can do it. it's taken me a long old time (20 years) to realise that not everyone is going to, and a further 2 years to try to stop myself doing it (you think i am self-deprecating now - you should have seen me last year!) instances like this, though, just make me revert back to my old habits, which nobody likes. i know i am large, i know i am not attractive, i know i have bad skin, i know i am clumsy, but when my girlfriend tells me she sees none of this, and loves me regardless then it helps. if i am in a more positive mindset then it is easier to try and combat the problems, whereas if i am negative i just get depressed dwelling on them. apologies if this is not clear, or if i am rambling. it is 5am, after all. tired as i am i'm in no mood to go to bed, because my girlfriend is away (just for one night, but of all the damn nights) oh, and Daddysredhead, i'd like to say thank you also for making me smile on several other occasions, perhaps without your knowledge.
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[/end sarcasm] My therapist says that would not be appropriate just now
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