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humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 12:25:26 PM

Fivedolarbill

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/27/2005
From: Rex, GA
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I am fairly new to the lifestyle.Please give me some suggestions, of some types of humiliation, I can use on my slave.. What types of tributes should I demand of him?

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 12:44:51 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fivedolarbill

I am fairly new to the lifestyle.Please give me some suggestions, of some types of humiliation, I can use on my slave.. What types of tributes should I demand of him?

Right now I'm reading a collection of essays by Guy Baldwin, one of the great BDSM writers and thinkers of today. He has a great deal to say about humiliation. I'm going to do something he does in his writing and his professional work: ask you two questions.

Why do you want to humiliate your partner?
What is your definition of humiliation?

I think if you can answer these then folks can give you better suggestions and you can evaluate them with great ease.

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Fivedolarbill)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 12:51:18 PM

Fivedolarbill

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Joined: 8/27/2005
From: Rex, GA
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To answer TammyJo,
My slave want to be used for humilation and finance. I am trying to learn a variety of ways to do that. I am having to rethink things, because I am a caring person. I find it difficult to find the line between mean and humilation. My definition of humilation is embarassment, belittlement.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 1:10:36 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fivedolarbill

I am fairly new to the lifestyle.Please give me some suggestions, of some types of humiliation, I can use on my slave.. What types of tributes should I demand of him?

My three questions are...

1. Are you doing this for his pleasure?
2. Are you doing this for your pleasure?
3. Are you doing this to obtain tributes?

Whichever of these three is your prime motivation will make it easy to tell you how you can humiliate him.
Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Fivedolarbill)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 1:29:50 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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The Frugal Domme has some great suggestions. Reading through it is a great way to begin to think of a variety of ways a person can be humiliated. Some things you might be comfortable with, and others maybe not.

(in reply to AAkasha)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 4:26:38 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fivedolarbill

To answer TammyJo,
My slave want to be used for humilation and finance. I am trying to learn a variety of ways to do that. I am having to rethink things, because I am a caring person. I find it difficult to find the line between mean and humilation. My definition of humilation is embarassment, belittlement.

I hope this helps more people reply to your question. Unfortunately I don't include humiliation in my Ds so I can't be of any real help.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Fivedolarbill)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 4:40:35 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
My three questions are...

1. Are you doing this for his pleasure?
2. Are you doing this for your pleasure?
3. Are you doing this to obtain tributes?

Whichever of these three is your prime motivation will make it easy to tell you how you can humiliate him.
Akasha

Nicely put.

(in reply to AAkasha)

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 4:50:46 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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Wrong room again. Sorry.

Let's not separate the two. Humiliation and financial domination.

Let's use the financial domination be a part of the humiliation. Actually, one definition of financial domination, as I understand it, is to 'extort' the money from him.

He expects you to benefit from his largesse. Let's take that away from him. Let's humiliate him with the usage of the money.

One idea might be to take him to a store that sells ladies clothing. Have him request some assistance from the shopkeeper to help him with things that will fit 'him'. He is then required to try them on, so you (and perhaps the merchant) have to give an opinion. (I know that that takes the consensuality away from the merchant, so think about that.) He has to pay for his own 'things' (hence the financial domination), and he needs to wear them out of the store.

If all of that isn't humiliating enough, the fact that you are disdainful of the money 'for you' could humiliate him further.

Just a thought.

Jeff

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Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/15/2006 5:39:47 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
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On a smaller scale than I've done ... Arrange with a local restaraunt that you will have a 'game' being played, a serious game. It was easy for me as I knew the owner of this place personally. Take the subbie out to eat, order three of everything, then tell him he's got to pay ... meanwhile you haven't given him a dime ... you just tell him that's his problem. Walk out ... the owner, meanwhile will put him to work off the debt ... YOU created. Make sure the owner knows to make the subbie do things out in the restaraunt as well as dishes, tables ... etc. Standing there and being unable to pay when you have the money to do so ... is humiliating for most people. I hope that came out right ... I know I had a wonderful time with my slave using that one.

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Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/16/2006 4:13:13 AM

MaamJay

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You also need to ask the slave what HE considers humiliating! I find almost everyone has a different definition. For eg, to some, being made to pee in a pot or to leave the toilet door open is humiliating. To my sub side ... the first is a fun challenge ... the second is the norm (does anyone with dogs EVER get to close the toilet door? LOL!).

Over and above all of this though, You need to consider if this is the right slave for You. You have Your desired style ... You want to be a caring Dominant. So You need to look for a sub/slave who wants that, who responds to that, although You both might enjoy the odd bit of humiliation etc, decide what's YOU and stick to it! My Dominant side is caring, I make it very clear to approaching subs that I do NOT want to play the coldhearted Bitch Domme, which seems to be a common male sub fantasy, it just isn't Me. Might lose Me some subs ... but then that saves Me wasted time trying to work with one who doesn't respond to what I want to offer.

Regards
Mistress Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/16/2006 6:00:30 AM

WhiteRadiance

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I have several questions. Is this a relationship or more of a game between two consenting adults? Do you intend to keep this boy? If it is a relationship, I suggest you communicate with your sub, get to know what makes him tick, do some research, and experiment. You will find that you can and will grow together in many ways. Humiliation used to be difficult for me, now I love it.

On the other hand, if the relationship is casual, and you just want to do something quickly, asking strangers for ideas will do.

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Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/16/2006 7:00:42 PM

MistressDolly

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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Imo, I don't think humiliation, and I'm referring to erotic humiliation, is being mean.   The operative word is "erotic". Between two consenting adults, erotic humiliation can be quite liberating and spiritual.

I think of humiliation as the MOST ULTIMATE FORM OF SUBMISSION.  And devotion. And trust.

If you were picking your nose in your car and another car was approaching to pass your car, would you stop picking your nose until the car got past yours? Yes. Maybe. Most of us have innate sense of pride and will go to great lenghts to avoid embarrasment/humiliation. So, if a sub tells you he wants you to humiliate him, he is expressing to you his TOTAL devotion to you and that he desires to give up everything to you - dignity included.   It' submission in its deepest sense.

Also, sometimes I think another reason some like to be humiliated is becuz it helps them accept and deal with a certain unfortuate reality. eg., guys with small pee pees, - some of them like to be humiliated about it. I think it's sort of like a defense mechanism - if they can take the mocking and teasing and live/get thru it, there is no where lower for them to go. They can't get or feel any lower, it cant get any worse and in the end they survived it.

Fondly,
GoddessDolly

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RE: humiliation for my slave - 9/16/2006 7:34:22 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fivedolarbill

To answer TammyJo,
My slave want to be used for humilation and finance. I am trying to learn a variety of ways to do that. I am having to rethink things, because I am a caring person. I find it difficult to find the line between mean and humilation. My definition of humilation is embarassment, belittlement.

So why even be with him if the two of you are on totally different wavelengths?

To be honest, I can't ethically offer things for you to do and push you to embark on things that are outside of your personal range.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Fivedolarbill)

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