US Library of Congress
Certificiation and Registered
TXu 828-635
1997
I give it to students, to which most have been dominants and some slaves. What I do, is set up an outline how to organize your household and or scene situations in public and or private.
You may wish to have written down, what your responsibilities/duties are and what a future slave/submissive responsibilities/duties are. I feel strongly that each dominant/submissive's number 1 priority, is to keep themselves safe from harm, especially from each other. Then spell out what responsibilities you're willing to take as well as what the future submissive/slave responsibilities.
Negotiation check list may be helpful. I recommend "Screw the Roses, Give me the thorns" check list, with the addition of quirts and single tails, as when it was written; single tails and quirts were not exactly in fashion.
Spell out what will be good manners/etiquette/protocol. But, be sure you follow them as much as you demand it from another, to include slaves/submissives. In other words--practice what you preach. I also agree to the idea of keeping protocols rather simple and practical. Spell out what behavior will be acceptable and what will not be acceptable. For example, my unacceptable behaviors are slaves being impared by alcohol, drugs and or medications. How strict you wish to be is up to you.
I wouldn't correct a slave/submissive as to cause them an upset after the fact, when you didn't have rules in place before hand. It really isn't fair, as slave/submissives aren't mind readers. Add the new rule after the fact and then discuss it if necessary, as to why, etc.
Spell out your dressing preferences for your slave/submissive in dungeon settings, private parties, public venues, vanilla and or munch settings. My personal preference is having the slave dress one level down from my attire. The idea is that the slave doesn't outdress or outshine the dominant--But, I am old fashioned but, you need to determine that as an individual preference.
I also advise new dominants, to be prepared to apologize. It takes a real man/woman to apologize for making mistakes. Dominants will make mistakes. When a dominant apologizes to a slave, which is unpopular with some dominants, the apology allows a slave to forgive. If there is no open door to forgiveness, it just festers inside a slave and boils into resentment or other negative behaviors. We're all human and when both parties understand that errors will take place, trust will bloom as you're seen as honest. Communication is the key and, communicate as to make it understood fully--to which assumptions have no place to crop up in anybody's mind.
If you wish to carry it even further, do research on serving in a domestic capacity, to which spell out how you wish your house to be run. For example, my slave's first priority in domestic service is to keep the living room cleaned as to have guests in and out without having to worry if it is clean or not; then the guest bathroom, then down the line according to priority and or premise.
Serving Tea, lunch and dinner are something I do enjoy alone as well as with guests. You may wish to explore that area.
A personal manual, has my shoe size, shirt size, skirt size, choice of laundry soup, favorite colors, preferences in dining in informal, semi-formal and formal settings for Teas, lunch and dinner. I have such a personal manual, as to have it as a reference for a slave, as to peek at when they wish to know something more 'personal.' I also include my allergies, my medical situation and such.
I will also mention, that manuals are aids--not the Bible. It is very easy to make a M/s or D/s situation all work and no play. It needs to be a balance where you both are excited about. What manuals do, is help slaves remember. Once they get into the groove per se, they will not need a manual to peek into as a reference guide. It also helps a dominant to peek in the manual as to refresh themselves.
As far as ritual/ceremony and or protocol goes--it can be seen as to fancy or not fancy enough. You need to create what is comfortable to you to maintain.
In greeting, my slaves go into a 'presentment' position. Some slaves are old (I like older slaves) and cannot kneel so they stand. Some kneel, to which helps aid me in establishing the line between dominance/authority and submission/respect. I don't keep them there long, as it really is hard on the knees. Although this position has roots in history, as to keep prisoners in a position of disadvantage; there are interesting things which take place when a slave kneels. They are, it helps their mental state to go into the submissive state, their nose smells the man's crotch/lady's thighs which works on the pheromones, which causes sexual arrousal. The leather or other scents coming from the dominant help create the platform or foundation to D/s or M/s interactions. Anticipation, endorphins, as well as other body internal chemical changes start to work.
The three most important tools any dominant possesses, is their mind, their voice and their touch. Tools are mere extentions of such.
Hope this helps.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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