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Marc2b -> RE: Three Jokes (9/15/2006 10:29:00 PM)
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Joke number two. The Wolly-Whopper.
One day a woman walks into a pet shop. The shop has the usual assortment of animals: dogs and cats, gerbils and hamsters, fish and birds. In the back of the store, sitting in a cage all by itself is a small furry little animal unlike any she has seen before. It is adorably cute and the woman asks the proprietor how much it is.
"Oh you don’t want that ma’am," says the proprietor, "that’s a wolly-whopper, and it’s more of a man’s pet."
Humph, thinks the woman to herself, I’ve a sexist pig on my hands. "And why," she asks in a sneering voice, "is it more of a man’s pet?"
"Let me show you," replies the proprietor. "I just got new office furniture, do you see the old desk in the corner there? Watch this." The man looks at the wolly-whopper and says, "wolly-whopper desk."
The wolly-whopper stands up on its hind legs and bends the bars of the cage apart. With a look of malicious glee it extends some very long claws and in a blur of movement races over to the old desk and starts tearing it apart. It moves so quickly that the eye can’t keep up with it. In just a few seconds the desk is completely destroyed. It is now a pile of wood chips, unrecognizable as to what it used to be. The wolly-whopper races back to it’s cage. It retracts it’s claws and bends the bars back into place. Then it sits down, looking adorably cute once more. The whole process takes less than ten seconds.
"My God," says the woman, "I don’t believe what I just saw."
"Believe it, Ma’am," replies the proprietor. "Let me show you again." He points out the shop window and continues," I just bought me new pick-up truck. That rusted red one in the parking lot is my old one and since I’m going to scrap it anyway..." Again the proprietor looks at the wolly-whopper and says, "wolly-whopper red truck."
The wolly-whopper stands up and again pulls the bars of it’s cage apart. It extends it’s long claws and with that look of malicious glee races through the pet shop and right through the pet shop’s brick wall, leaving a gapping hole. "Damn it! I should have taken the cage outside first," says the proprietor as the wolly-whopper proceeds to quickly reduce the red truck to a pile of scrap metal. "It always take the shortest route to it’s target." Once again the wolly-whopper makes short work of the truck and returns to it’s cage in less than ten seconds.
"I’ve seen enough," says the woman as she heads to the door. "I don’t want that thing in my house."
Over the next few days, while he is patching up the hole in his wall, the proprietor decides he has had enough of the wolly-whopper himself. He decides to sell it to the next interested person without bothering to warn them about it. That person turns out to be a middle-aged woman who falls in love with the adorably cute little animal the moment she sees it. She arrives home and sets the cage on the dinning room table while she heads into the bedroom to change her clothes. Her husband, beer bellied, beer in hand and wearing a food stained t-shirt, comes in. "What the hell is this stupid thing?" he shouts.
"Oh that?" says the woman from the bedroom, "that’s a wolly-whopper. Isn’t it just the cutest thing you ever saw?"
The man bends over to take a closeer look. With a sneering voice he says, "wolly-whopper? Wolly-whopper my ass."
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