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Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 12:01:22 AM   
DomJen


Posts: 19
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		To all the subs and slaves:
What are your favorite ways to be humiliated? And, when you first got into the lifestyle, how did your Master/Mistress teach you obediance?

_____________________________

~Mistress Jen~
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 5:19:49 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I wasn't taught obedience, it was a requirement so I knew upfront either be obedient or hit the door. That was the position he took from the first and it has never changed.

Ask just about any slave and they will tell you being ignored is the worst punishment.

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 6:52:14 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I never had to be taught obedience. My job is to obey and I knew that going in. I enjoy limited humiliation, it isn't a big turn on for me as it is for others. One of my favorites is doing the puppy thing with a leash and collar.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 7:19:18 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		I agree with the rest so far. I was not tought to be obdient.  In my current search for a boy of my own, the most important thing to me is that he will obey because he WANTS to, not out of fear of me.  I obey my Daddy because it pleases him, it makes him happy with me and proud of me, so in turn it makes me feel good about myself and our life.  I want thoses same feelings from and for a boy.

We do not use humiliations.

MsOpal aka Daddy Argent's babygirl

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 7:27:23 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I don't like humiliation and have not had it used on me. Obedience is something I'm just naturally apt to do so I haven't been "trained" to be obedient. I just am.

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 12:06:47 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		To be frank, it's simply the consequences of being disobedient that stop me on many an occasion. I am not the most obedient person....I find *doing as I'm told* a very difficult thing to do much of the time.

I'm not a *pleaser* and I'm not submissive by nature either. I suppose in answer to your question, I've been at least conditioned to accept that it hurts a lot less to obey and life is infinately easier if I haven't pissed him off....lol

agirl

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 12:35:58 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My parents taught me to be obedient and they usually punished me by sending me to my room.

I do not know how to answer the humiliation thing, I have kinda evolved out of that kink for now, it does not do for me what it used to. Daddy doesn't do much in the humiliation department.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 9/16/2006 12:36:18 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 12:43:21 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Why would you choose a dom then agirl if you weren't submissive and don't have a natural desire to please?

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 12:45:53 PM   
pineapplesub


Posts: 39
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline 		Personally, I am still exploring the ways i enjoy being humiliated. I very much enjoy verbal, and many things in private (anything from drinking from dog bowls to being urinated on), but I have yet to find what I dislike in public.  Then again, I am personally on the border of figuring out who I am as a bottom...  I am split on a lot of things...

As for punishment...  I would have to say my least favorite is when I'm put in 'time out'- the guest room for an indeterminate amount of time alone, to remain in a specific position.

~val~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 1:38:02 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		The thing with humiliation is it can really send the submissive on an emotional roller coaster ride. For me the highs were incredible but the lows were too low. I consider it a form of extreme edge play.

(in reply to pineapplesub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 2:36:02 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If you enjoy humiliation I don't believe it would be humiliation at all. 
It would be mere play that you enjoyed and partaked in.

I also was never taught obedience.  It came naturally when I found someone I respected
enough to listen to.

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 5:53:43 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		To be honest, it never occurred to me to disobey..not just because i knew it was "his way or the highway", seeing the look on his face when i had pleased him filled me with joy.

i haven't been involved in much humiliation "play" since, for me, it's to easy to believe it, especially in the middle of the night, alone with my thoughts.  i wonder if there  isn't a grain of truth in whatever it was or it probably wouldn't have been mentioned.  As for training, i responded better to his smiles and pleasure, than anything else.  When i had displeased him i was so torn up i could hardly stand it. 

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 8:14:31 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomJen

To all the subs and slaves:
What are your favorite ways to be humiliated? And, when you first got into the lifestyle, how did your Master/Mistress teach you obediance?

this slave did not have to be taught obedience; she willingly GAVE it to Master; and continues to do so on a daily basis. What's more, Master never DEMANDED obedience from his slave; he simply expected it
 
this slave has only one thing that goes on her FAVORITES list and that is "Make and keep Master happy"; anything that Master finds enjoyment in, goes on this slave's list.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to DomJen)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 9:47:26 PM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

To be frank, it's simply the consequences of being disobedient that stop me on many an occasion. I am not the most obedient person....I find *doing as I'm told* a very difficult thing to do much of the time.

I'm not a *pleaser* and I'm not submissive by nature either. I suppose in answer to your question, I've been at least conditioned to accept that it hurts a lot less to obey and life is infinately easier if I haven't pissed him off....lol

agirl


Thank you thank you thank you for not saying "oh i was always obedient; oh i have never struggled with this; oh it just came naturally".  one hates hearing that bullshit. 
 
People that say the above have not been challenged, have not had their limits pushed, etc.  Total obedience is NOT easy, and anyone that says they have never been disobedient is lying through their teeth.  No matter how hard we try - we all have bad days, things we HATE doing, things we conveniently 'forget' to do, or maybe just push the envelope - maybe it is doesn't happen often - but it does happen to each and everyone of us.  Not one submissive or slave is perfect - and damn those that say they are.  They make it soooooooooooo hard on those that are truly struggling and asking for help. 
 
agirl:  you are right - it hurts a lot less to obey - and sometimes that is the only reason we do it.  Now, as time goes on and we get to know ourselves better, learn more about what it is to be a submissive or a slave, and find the right Dominant/Master for us - it gets easier, thank goodness.  But let's get real folks - not one of us is perfect. 
 

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/16/2006 11:00:43 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you thank you thank you for not saying "oh i was always obedient; oh i have never struggled with this; oh it just came naturally".  one hates hearing that bullshit. 

this slave struggles, sometimes daily, in her surrender to Master. That struggle, however, does not change the fact that she is obedient to Master...totally and completly. Obedience, for this slave, comes not from Master ordering her to do something; but rather from HER own enjoyment in seeing Master happy.
quote:

  People that say the above have not been challenged, have not had their limits pushed, etc.

this slave has to disagree with this statement. She is challenged on a daily basis in her surrender to Master. You are correct in your statement that total obedience is NOT and will NEVER come easily; however, that does not mean that just because one CAN achieve it, that they have never been pushed to achieve more.
 
when this slave offered herself to Master, she did so knowing that total and complete obedience was to be expected in every aspect of her life. She did so not because Master demanded, or ordered it of her; but because she WANTED to.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to ayasha)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/17/2006 1:10:11 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		i am always being taught to obey. i wish i just had the easy button the office supply store sells, or that "Natural submissives" seem to have been born with.  my challenge isn't how to obey once i understand a directive IS a directive.  i just don't "Hear" the world that way.  i'm learning but it's not automatic.

"Come here."  "ok Sir!   (happily)  i'm almost finished here.."
"No, stop that and come here, now." 
"Oh yes Sir, i was just putting away the silverware..  UT-OH...  shit.   i did it again..damn,damn,damn."

Training out of it is mostly comprised of pointing out every instance of my failure to hear.  Coupled with praise for proper listening.  and a bit of shaming when i have to present myself with that deer in the headlights look and admit it wasn't the behavior i want to display. 

(in reply to OhReallyNow)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/17/2006 1:16:27 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Why would you choose a dom then agirl if you weren't submissive and don't have a natural desire to please?


i'll take a shot at this... for me it's because i think obedience is proper, and i feel great about myself when i do it.. and because it's NOT innate to me, and i love to do what doesn't come naturally.. if it came naturally, i wouldn't be surrendering anything.

The fact that i choose anothers will over mine is exactly what i get the charge from. i am pleased by being pleasing because i can beam up at the Hims and say "wow, i did that for You, and i love that You can bring that out in me."

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/17/2006 2:48:14 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I don't always obey as i should but i am always corrected when i fail to do so.  For my Dom and i it is sometimes an unspoken game we play together.  W/we may or may not be typical D/s but W/we do always have fun together.  When all is said and done i know when He wishes for me to be sassy and not obey and when i had better obey immediately including dropping the silverware if need be.  As for humiliation that was a hard limit for me at first that is, then i learned that i can trust my Dom to not harm me in anyway, although if He told me to do something that i found humiliating and i knew that it would please Him i would take a deep breath, cry and do as i was directed, preferably with a blind fold on lol.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/17/2006 8:10:28 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I usually enjoy a dynamic where the woman gives orders and the sub obeys. And so being ordered and obeying them creates a space I like. Thus, I am more inclined to obey than not. That said, a certain chemistry is needed to want to go to that space. It is not necessarily a deep chemistry. Still, it is something.

Just like punishment, I think disobedience can occur in the context of play (a small infraction thought to be in the context of play) or in its truer sense. The cause for disobedience in its truer sense could be dishonorable, or it could be fear, a boundary, or resentment. In the latter case, I think a discussion may be more important in place of or in addition to punishment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

If you enjoy humiliation I don't believe it would be humiliation at all. 
It would be mere play that you enjoyed and partaked in.


I think there are two types of humiliation: sadomasochistic humiliation and D/s humiliation. A given activity may span both types.

I see SM humiliation to truly cause emotional discomfort and see it to fall within the realm of emotional SM.

I see D/s humiliation to not necessarily cause mental discomfort but to symbolize the dominant and submissive role of each. For example, being told to bow and kiss feet in a vanilla context can be humiliating. In a D/s relationship this same act may occur without any feelings of humiliation, and enhance the dom and sub space of the respective partners.

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 9/17/2006 8:13:45 AM >

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Looking for new ways to train..... - 9/17/2006 11:43:00 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The first step has too often seemed to be skipped, train yourself to be an ethical Dominant.
AS to the "Natural" school of thought Totally  consider it bunk, Natural Atheletes don't not train their minds and bodies, Natural Musicians don't not train, natural sailors train, natural simply menas you have the talent not that you can't or shouldn't work hard to polish that ability and make yourself better.

Athletic teams will often choose someone of lesser natural talent and a greater commitment to improving, because in the end the lesser talent improved over time will almost always outshine a greater talent relied on to get you by.

(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 20
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