RE: Looking for new ways to train.....

RE: Looking for new ways to train..... (Full Version)

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agirl -> RE: Looking for new ways to train..... (9/17/2006 12:25:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion Why would you choose a dom then agirl if you weren't submissive and don't have a natural desire to please? Good question..I often ask myself that one......LOL Seriously though.......Basically my life runs better, I achieve more, I have discipline, structure, attention, care, interest and a bloody huge constant challenge.....THIS way of life works for me and despite the ever present struggles, I thrive in it. It's actually that simple. agirl

agirl -> RE: Looking for new ways to train..... (9/17/2006 12:49:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ayasha quote: ORIGINAL: agirl To be frank, it's simply the consequences of being disobedient that stop me on many an occasion. I am not the most obedient person....I find doing as I'm told a very difficult thing to do much of the time. I'm not a pleaser and I'm not submissive by nature either. I suppose in answer to your question, I've been at least conditioned to accept that it hurts a lot less to obey and life is infinately easier if I haven't pissed him off....lol agirl Thank you thank you thank you for not saying "oh i was always obedient; oh i have never struggled with this; oh it just came naturally". one hates hearing that bullshit. People that say the above have not been challenged, have not had their limits pushed, etc. Total obedience is NOT easy, and anyone that says they have never been disobedient is lying through their teeth. No matter how hard we try - we all have bad days, things we HATE doing, things we conveniently 'forget' to do, or maybe just push the envelope - maybe it is doesn't happen often - but it does happen to each and everyone of us. Not one submissive or slave is perfect - and damn those that say they are. They make it soooooooooooo hard on those that are truly struggling and asking for help. agirl: you are right - it hurts a lot less to obey - and sometimes that is the only reason we do it. Now, as time goes on and we get to know ourselves better, learn more about what it is to be a submissive or a slave, and find the right Dominant/Master for us - it gets easier, thank goodness. But let's get real folks - not one of us is perfect. I'll never be totally obedient, that we both know. I've had a lifetime of pleasing myself....I'm stubborn, contrary and wilful at times (I can hear him saying * At TIMES?*....lol) I really don't like being told what to do unless I want to do it....and even THEN I sometimes don't want to just because I was told to. It doesn't always show outwardly, I don't have to behave badly...he KNOWS that it's a struggle. I think it amuses him sometimes....grrr. He has no problem finding ways to curb any behaviour he isn't keen on and frankly, that's why HE owns me and why I don't stop trying to obey. Regards, agirl

ownedgirlie -> RE: Looking for new ways to train..... (9/17/2006 6:35:41 PM)
~ Fast Reply ~ I agree with those who have said obedience can be a struggle. Master has my "almost" complete obedience now, but he did not always have that. I say "almost" because I am human, and I err. I will not blatantly disobey. But I am an imperfect human and as such, I am bound to mess up once in awhile. Fortunately those mess ups are few and far between now. It is always my intention to behave exactly as he wishes me to. In the beginning, I was stubburn, very emotional, and not as strong or confident as I am today. My disobedience mostly came in the form of arguing (or trying to) rather than going out and doing something I was not supposed to, or saying "No" to a command. Master has always made it clear that to disobey him is to disrespect him. Since I never wish to disrespect him, and since I love love love when he is happy (and happy with me, no doubt!), I strive to always meet his expectation. I still struggle at times. To fulfill some of his demands can be extremely difficult. But degree of difficulty does not dictate whether or not I obey. As for humiliation, someone said it is not humiliating if you enjoy it. I respectfully disagree. Is pain painful, even if you enjoy it? For me, humiliation and degradation create an internal cringe which can flatten me. And yet I crave it still. I love the painful way it makes me feel. Go figure.

agirl -> RE: Looking for new ways to train..... (9/18/2006 2:16:27 AM)
I chose to follow him because he was someone that I COULD follow, someone that COULD master and control me, partly out of enormous respect for him as a man......not as a Master, per se. It just happens that as my Master, he has more tools at his disposal. I don't disobey him JUST to be awkward, for drama or because I can't be bothered......if that was the case, neither of us would have seen the point in the situation. Progress was desired......not perfection. My character was no mystery to him. Many of the annoying things about me are traits that have developed over my lifetime, they've been strengths in adverse times. I don't need them with him at the helm and I'm nothing like the harem scarem, self destructive princess I once was but those things are not going to disappear overnight. He knows where I started from. When my stubborn nature met one more stubborn than mine......it recognised it......lol agirl

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