NorthernGent
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Joined: 7/10/2006
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P.S. BBC news today reported a gathering of bathtubs at a skip. While some commentators pointed out out that the bathtubs were at the skip purely for disposal the BBC were keen to point out that regardless of the motive behind this gathering it will come back to haunt us if we don't set plans in motion to combat this upsurge in bathtub activity. The rapid reaction force and forensic experts were seen inspecting the bathtubs in full protective radio-active suits and they took various items away to be tested (including a tap that was said to be particularly menacing and unresponsive to being turned on).
The government have announced that due to this worrying situation no-one is allowed to have a bath, leave their home and enter into conversations with the next door neighbours. Also, all bath-instruction manuals must be handed over to the government for burning.
BBC news also reported escalating tensions. Armed (pitch-forks) mobs were seen bearing placads with slogans such as "the devil wants your bathtubs" and the Prime Minister is busy praying to God for a peaceful resolution.
Meanwhile, the Daily Mail was forced into an embarrassing retraction of earlier commentary on the situation. They had printed a story of bathtubs with beards and guns shooting into the air screaming "bathtubs ahkbar". On closer inspection it was determined that it was only 3 bathtubs as opposed to the 3 million the Daily Mail had claimed and tried to show by cramming the 3 bathtubs into a tiny space. Also, it was concluded that the pictue had been doctored and the beards were in fact the leg hair of an extremely hairy young girl having a bath. Sadly, the guns turned out to be superimposed. The Daily Mail did apologise but also added that the picture is true anyway because this is what bathtubs do when we're not looking. One sceptic asked for the evidence of this and was given little change with the reply "evidence!? where do you think you are? living in a democracy?!"
In an unrelated incident, the autopsy of a British Conservative revealed that he is was, in fact, a robot. He was last seen malfunctioning repeating "we're all going to die unless we kill the islamo-fascists". A statement issued by the head of the world coalition of conservatives read "yes, it is true, we are all robots and none of us can think for ourselves, death to bathtubs, the islamo-fascists and the left-wing scroungers".
Regards
_____________________________
I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.
Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.
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RE: War on Bathtubs - 
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