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having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 2:10:15 AM   
BeneathHerFeet


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/7/2004
Status: offline 		i've always been curious about the lifestyle and this year i decided to take a step forward and talk about it. i'd ramble more about that, but its in my profile lol.

Anyway, i don't know where this journey will lead me or what kind of Domme i'll ultimately end up with, but i've been somewhat curious if its possible to maintain a job/career while in this lifestyle, especially when it comes to 24/7 slavery.

i've always dreamed of working from the home or freelancing - its a goal i'm still working towards and it was an ambition of mine before my interest in D/s was in the picture. Now that i've thought about it, it seems like an even more worthy goal to persue because it would give me more freedom. Freedom to be more or totally available to a Domme, in addition to being a provider in Her household.

but i'm also curious how it would work in the 9 to 5 context as well, because it could still be an inevitablity for me for a while as i work toward that goal.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 5:33:37 AM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

but i've been somewhat curious if its possible to maintain a job/career while in this lifestyle, especially when it comes to 24/7 slavery.
i drive an hour each way to the salon i work in as a cosmetologist. It's a very high pace salon, i love the work i do. i'm His slave 24/7, whether i am in His presense or not, & there has not been much need for His 'management' of me while i am away at work at this point. Most of the others i work with are aware of our involvement with BDSM and my role in a D/s relationship, and although most have a very limited understanding of what it involves, there are some who i am closer to who have inquired for details and received them.

Success in this profession requires good communication skills, knowledge and experience & a ton of natural talent, and perseverance. Working with the vanity of others can be stressful at times, as well as mentally and emotionally exhausting. Sometimes just the amount of conversation required is tiring.

Ever have to explain to a person, "No, your hair type won't support that style you desire, and i can't make you look like that model you see in that magazine, but we could compromise and i can give you her eyebrows.", Or, "No, i can't wax your brows today because there is not enough hair left after the home experiment you performed with that little brow shaving device, but we can leave your bangs longer and allow them to cover the stubble which remains and you can hope that no one will notice them too much.", or "No, you should not have left that home highlighting/bleach solution in your hair for so long, and yes that is why it is breaking off at the root, and NO a perm is not an option & won't camouflage the bald spots that now exist." ??? It ain't easy.

After a long day of work, in returning to Master, the idea of serving Him is not always the first thought to enter my mind. Many times i need a bit of 'me time' to wind down and relax and rest a bit both physically & mentally. Most times He allows for it, sometimes He chooses not to. Yes, it's possible to maintain a career as a 24/7 slave, and many times it makes for one very exhausted, yet quite relieved, and appreciative slave who returns home to her Master at the end of the work day ready to serve and obey with every bit of energy she has left.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)



< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 1/11/2005 5:53:54 AM >

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(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)
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RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 5:36:38 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		This topic has come up before. When you are away from her you are still submitting to her. 24/7 is not a role you kick into once you are home. You are out there working to contribute to the household which in turn is submitting. Of course you can be discreet during the day in the vanilla world but depending on what she has you do, you could just call her and get simple instructions if you want. You can ask persmission to leave for lunch, etc.. It's whatever you two work out. Bottom line is it is do-able. Good luck.

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~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)
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RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 6:10:29 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i am submissive but i study many houers a day. This means i am not always availabel to my Dom, but he is patient and alow me this becouse he knows it makes me happy. i belive a normal life and 24/7 can be combined, but then, what is normal.

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 10:09:58 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

i've been somewhat curious if its possible to maintain a job/career while in this lifestyle, especially when it comes to 24/7 slavery.


BHF,
I'd say no - it's not possible, especially in a 24/7 relationship, for many of the reasons that cynnacent1 gives; "After a long day of work, in returning to Master, the idea of serving Him is not always the first thought to enter my mind. Many times i need a bit of 'me time' to wind down and relax and rest a bit both physically & mentally. Most times He allows for it, sometimes He chooses not to. Yes, it's possible to maintain a career as a 24/7 slave, and many times it makes for one very exhausted, yet quite relieved, and appreciative slave who returns home to her Master at the end of the work day ready to serve and obey with every bit of energy she has left."

I agree and appreciate her feelings and the dilemma it causes. For all her reasons I knew if I ever had a slave she would not have a job. It's strictly personal. I'm protective - I don't want my slave to have to deal with the assholes in the workplace; customer, co-workers, bosses. I know it's not in my slave's nature to handle them in an appropriate manner. I am also selfish. I don't want my slave shared, or have to please anyone but me. Hell, I have a problem sharing her with family.

No it isn't practical, it isn't politically correct, and it's also down right expensive! But to me, it's part of the definition of being a Master. Paraphrasing what I said in another thread - if you can't afford a slave - you shouldn't have one.

(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 10:26:57 AM   
sprite67


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Being submissive and not a 24/7 slave ...i would agree that working away from home is a great detriment to my ability to serve as i would wish to, and not what i would have imagined in my head at first - however, in my own case part of my service to Him is that i am the primary person who pays the bills so that He may persue things that are of interest to Him, and be able to work in a job which pays less but is more fulfilling. my goal is in fact to eventually be able to support Him completely so that He can spend His time with our daughter and enjoying His hobies and not have to worry about money. For us, this is what has worked best so far. We could not have afforded to have me not work at all... and it is much easier for me to work full time when i know that i am doing it for him, than when i was doing it because i felt i had to for other reasons. As a service to Him, i can take great joy in it.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 10:58:15 AM   
MsCameron


Posts: 238
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

No it isn't practical, it isn't politically correct, and it's also down right expensive! But to me, it's part of the definition of being a Master. Paraphrasing what I said in another thread - if you can't afford a slave - you shouldn't have one.


While I understand and partially agree with you, my situation prompts me to respond.

Three and half years ago I quit my job and moved my kids to move in with my partner. No, I did not work. I was fortunate enough not to have to. Low and behold, it did not work out. I moved back to the city I left and began looking for a job.
There are employment placement agencies that will not even take a resume from me because I have been out of the job force for 3 1/2 years. There are jobs I have applied for that won't even consider employing me because of the time span I did not work.
They don't even care about an expanation. They just see it as being unreliable.

The best advise I have recieved is to go with a temp agency until I get a year in the work force, then apply to the agencies that represent my field. The problem with that is the company I used to work for has been disolved and I am unable to find anyone that worked there for a reference.

LOL.. the last 2 jobs I was turned down for were waitressing jobs because as soon as they saw my resume, they knew if I got a job in my field, I'd be gone.

sigh... I waited over 2 years before I made the decision to move. I thought it was forever and I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams that I was making a huge mistake. But it ended up being exactly that.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not working and I'm paying for it now.

Everyone thinks their relationship will work out.. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It will take me years to recover.

This is what can happen. I don't care if you're Dominant or submissive. If you're going to give up your job, make sure if anything happens that you can still support yourself.

On a postive note, I have an interview tomorrow.

MsC





< Message edited by MsCameron -- 1/11/2005 11:14:43 AM >

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 11:41:32 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

LOL.. the last 2 jobs I was turned down for were waitressing jobs because as soon as they saw my resume, they knew if I got a job in my field, I'd be gone.

sigh... I waited over 2 years before I made the decision to move. I thought it was forever and I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams that I was making a huge mistake. But it ended up being exactly that.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was not working and I'm paying for it now.

Everyone thinks their relationship will work out.. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It will take me years to recover.

This is what can happen.


And that is only ONE aspect of her life that beth trusted me enough to turn over to me. Can anyone not appreciate that level of trust? From my perspective - it's ONE of the responsibilities I took on when she became my slave.

Ms Cameron you are so right to point out the worst case. Even when you think you have anticipated them all, someone will do something you never expected - Like fly a plane into your building.

That is why it's sometimes hard to relate with some of the threads. This job/slave and assuming responsibilities for another person is a serious issue. Going from that to arguing the importance and different levels of 'on-line' collaring, debating the importance of 'safe-words', or asking for help identifying the proper tool to punish a submissive who wears panties when they were expressly forbidden; seems a tad less important.

(in reply to MsCameron)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/11/2005 12:52:25 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i had a hand time maneging school, i wanted to dedicate my life to the occult, but a job i needed. But then my fiance came in and promised to take care of me, alowing me to follow my dream. And he now suport me, expet for a werry smal income i have myself. i have found that having him sheltering me and handeling affairs like this has given me one of the reasons to submit to him and become his sub.

Marc, my Dom is also highly protective of me, he do not want me working, partly becouse he do not want me to have to encounter all the stress of that everyday. i am eternaly grateful to Him for taking care of me.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/12/2005 9:27:13 AM   
ARoseAndAnEye


Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline 		I've worked for close to 20 years in IP law, and Master and I have been together for over 6 years. Our roles have never interfered with our jobs, anymore than, say, "motherhood" would interfere with one's job. The role of submissive -- or mother -- is what it is. We are a partnership in all aspects of life, which includes BDSM and contributing to the running of a household.

Now... if we were independently wealthy, and my need to work outside of our home didn't exist???? mmm. Well, I guess that's a fantasy I can entertain at my leisure.


~anna

(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/12/2005 4:16:50 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Anyway, i don't know where this journey will lead me or what kind of Domme i'll ultimately end up with, but i've been somewhat curious if its possible to maintain a job/career while in this lifestyle, especially when it comes to 24/7 slavery.


Most definately. Of course it depends upon the dynamics of the couple. Just as in a vanilla relationship. In most households now it takes two to have a good life. If so, and you have a sub or a slave is it not them serving you by actually getting a job? Providing for the family?

As cynn stated, there are times when you do need to unwind from the day. However, if you also have a couple who is physically together 24/7 their relationship is going to end a lot sooner than cynns relationship. Why, because nobody and I do mean nobody can handle being beside the very same person twenty four hours a day seven days a week for prolonged periods of time. Don't believe me, look at statistics.

You have to also take into consideration most Doms work outside of the home. If you are home, while they are not. Would everyone consider that control? Just depends on the two involved.

My Dom and I are in contact with each other, no less than 10-15 times a day. I do much the same as Sweet described. Just because he is not standing in front of me does not mean he doesn't know where I am. Or what I am doing.

It really just depends on the couple. What may or may not work for me will work for you.


(in reply to BeneathHerFeet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/17/2005 9:19:23 AM   
jayde25


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/17/2005
Status: offline 		This issue has been very much on my mind lately also. My Master is able to provide for all my basic needs. He prides himself on being able to take care of me. Yet, at 42 years old, i cannot help thinking about things like a nest egg and retirement. He has not yet filled out the life insurance papers. If something were to happen to him or our relationship i would be starting all over again from scratch in a part of the US that i cannot easily navigate on my own. I gave up my house and most of my belongings to come here. I have no real assetts left. It would detract very much from our relationship if i were to work outside the home. I do have a small on-line business that affords me a few extras like books or something special from the groc. I hope to penny pinch and use that money to fund my retirement account.
My family does not know the extent of the relationship that i am in. They are very dissappointed in me for not working and think i am crazy. They don't want me to have to depend on a man for anything and not have a back-up plan. What they can see from outside, they think he is using me and will get rid of me in a few years when he tires of me, and turn me out into the cold. They are constantly on my case about not working.
Am i in the wrong for putting some human reality on the face of "someday i will get old" and i don't really want to end up with nothing because i made a decision somewhere along the line to devote myself to a Master?

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: having a job and being a submissve/slave - 1/17/2005 12:01:24 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If I were in the same situation, I'd ask myself this. Even if he does fill out the insurance paper's and I'm the sole beneficiary. How much is that going to afford me in the end?

Odd's are, PROVIDING the insurance company even pays off not a whole lot to live on for very long.
I've had a few lawsuits with insurance companies lately about death's. Even in accidents they really don't want to pay. It is a rough world in which we live in.
I guess it also depends on if you have a good insurance company to begin with.

(in reply to jayde25)
Profile   Post #: 13
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