RE: A Question About Being Needy... (Full Version)

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VideoAdminTheta -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/18/2010 12:35:48 PM)

Just a note to point out that this thread is nearly four years old, was dug up just over a year ago and has been brought back to life once again. Typically we would lock the thread, but you all seem to want to respond to the topic, so we will see how it goes. Just keep in mind that some people may not be here and responding to them may be fruitless. You might consider starting a new thread on the topic.



xXsoumisXx -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/18/2010 12:42:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminTheta

Just a note to point out that this thread is nearly four years old, was dug up just over a year ago and has been brought back to life once again. Typically we would lock the thread, but you all seem to want to respond to the topic, so we will see how it goes. Just keep in mind that some people may not be here and responding to them may be fruitless. You might consider starting a new thread on the topic.


oops i did not notice that!!



Acer49 -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/18/2010 2:16:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: losttreasure

“Neediness” is brought up quite often in the threads... usually with great derision... when the discussion turns to long distance relationships, abandonment issues relating to trust, and separation anxiety.  

But what exactly is “being needy”?   How is it that you would identify someone as being needy, or, if you consider yourself to be needy, why? 


We need air to breathe, we need food and shelter to protect us from the elements, we need medical care to sustain life. Anything above that is pretty much a want. Many people confuse need and want. There is nothing wrong with wanting, but every individual is accountable for the success or failure of their own life journey. It is not something you should look for another person to attempt do for you. Whatever ones issues are, they need to get their own life in order before attempting to enter any type of relationship with another. I believe is a misconception to truly think that another can "make one whole" "can make one feel complete" " raise one's self esteem or self worth" Only the individual can truly do that

Being needy is having a want that pretty much consumes. It drives an individual to find another who is willing to do the work for them rather than taking responsibility and doing it themselves.




lobodomslavery -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/19/2010 1:10:26 AM)

Aithnionn ciarog ciarog eile, it reminds me of the Irish saying one cockroack recognises another.  One person's version of being needy is another person's version of a person who needs to be helped. i think the latter, neediness is a cry for help
kevin



sweetsub1957 -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/19/2010 2:56:36 AM)

~FR~
I think being needy is constantly needing something...constantly. Feeling like you'll die if you don't get X from someone constantly. But then neediness can also be subjective. One person may think needing to communicate twice a week is needy and someone else may not. I don't think it's needy but evidently a former Dom of mine started to think so, because our communication dropped off from twice a a week to once every couple weeks. Then, oh yeah, I started to feel needy.

~sweetsub~



daddysliloneds -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/19/2010 6:50:22 AM)

i identify them as 'needy' if they state that they 'need someone to complete them'; what the fuck? if you aren't complete and secure enough in yourself then why would i want to spend time with you?



crazyml -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/19/2010 11:57:01 AM)

Thoughtful post.

But I have to ask whether you're aware that you need someone to pop the odd paragraph break into your prose?



sexyred1 -> RE: A Question About Being Needy... (9/19/2010 2:22:12 PM)

Although it has been stated much earlier on the years ago thread, here is what neediness is:

It is when you ask for something normal in a relationship, such as staying in touch between visits, or something equally normal and the other person is too fucking selfish to do the smallest thing to make you happy.

Then that selfish person who is denying the simplest of requests to the partner who does alot more for them, than they reciprocate, calls the other partner needy.

Because that is what someone does who cannot take ownership for being self centered, they accuse the other of being needy.

Of course this is one definition; there are probably a myriad of others but this one rings the most true from what I have seen.



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