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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 2:20:56 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubNY278

What I think is unfortunate is that there are so many so-called "subs" out there that do things like sending those e-mails writing "you're hot" and that gives a bad reputation to all subs. It makes the search even harder for a genuine, serious male submissive when they have to put up with preconceptions which other males are partially responsible for.

You're absolutely right. Because after 5 of them......I don't care what anyone has to say. I'm just annoyed at having my time wasted. Through the years, I will say my fuse has gotten shorter and my "bullshit meter" runs close to tilt quite a bit. I'm fully aware of this, and when I get a mail that's more serious, I might take a day or two and run away from the annoying, pesky mails and then attend to the prospective one with a fresh(er) mind.

And this phenomenon is certainly not limited to a smallish subset of 'our' population. It seems any time you put a horny man in front of a keyboard, all men (particularly the serious ones) suffer in some form or another.

It makes you wonder that women have any interest in men at all anymore.

I particularly have come to loathe those of my gender for just these sorts of abuses and others.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 201

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:28:19 AM

paCDponygirl

Posts: 20
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

Miss Pandora, (curtsey)
Thank You for the kind words. You didn't need to post that here but it was awefull nice of You. Maybe i will unpack it all again, i don't know. Cycling is nto uncommon with cds. At least i don't purge anymore, where i go through it all away because i am so disgusted with myself. That was a long time ago thank God that i grew out of that. It seems different this time. There is some sort of finality to it for some reason. Anyway, maybe we all ned to realize that in this lifestyle we are in that there is a lot of crap we all put up with. i did take what You had to say personally because thats the group i am in like it or not and when people read my profile or get an e-mail from me, thats the group i am initially put it. anyway, i am just glad You don't think of me that way. i would feel bad if You did.
lauren
xoxoxo

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 202

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:34:20 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

I too have read thru every thread here waiting to hear the reaction to Lady Ellen's, "So, a question to the disgruntled CD males; if I were to seek you out, and say yes, I love you crossdressing, and yes I will take you as a sub/slave etc - what would you do?
I strongly suspect like every other heterosexual man I've encountered, you'd run a mile. E"

From the two replies you got, I think youve got it exactly right. I think Lady Ellen, youve got the best handle on it. I dont think there's any takers. I also think Lady Ellen, that I very much respect you and think your mind is a fine one. Your well reasoned replies have remained steady throughout.

Thank you. You are an inspiration. And a good role model. God bless you and keep you well. xoxox Sophia

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 203

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:40:29 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

To Cloudboy,

I think youve been doing a lot of reading on this site, to be so insightful. Youve got this one down pat, "Similar, now kind of funny arcs, follow the same-ish predictable pattern when a married person invariably comes out wondering what to do about their sudden need for or experience in a BDSM afffair. The viceral reaction is to beat that person to death with the cheating card.
Whether its "I don't like CDs" or "I hate cheaters," the posting reaction has a kind of obnoxious, rightousness about it which is hard, if not impossible to curb."

I for one am glad you are part of the people who post on this site. Your clarity of thought never fails to impress me. Thanks, sophie xoxo

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 204

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:49:27 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

She would have benefited here by shutting her pie hole earlier in the game. She made her point long ago, but to keep repeating "I don't like it" isn't telling others anything other than she's conceited. Everyone heard her the first time, and its a bit insane that CDs need to hear this refrain as if they don't already know it.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 205

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:55:28 AM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

She would have benefited here by shutting her pie hole earlier in the game. She made her point long ago, but to keep repeating "I don't like it" isn't telling others anything other than she's conceited. Everyone heard her the first time, and its a bit insane that CDs need to hear this refrain as if they don't already know it.

You all asked for a mistress's input, didn't like what she had to say, and then attacked her viewpoint. Notice the title of this forum is "Ask a Mistress". Not, get into a debate with a Mistress. If you had ANY concept of dominant women, you would know that the SECOND you become argumentative, we are most likely going to continue defending our viewpoint, and the longer we have to do it, the more irritated and irked we get. I'm suprised these wonderful Ladies put up with this BS thread for so long.

Oh, and cross dressers aren't my thing I will play with them as clients, but in my personal life, I prefer subs for whom it is PUNISHMENT as opposed to FUN for me to make them dress as a girl.

Mistress Heather
www.mizzspice.net
Hell Hath No Fury.....

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 206

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 5:57:31 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Was the "conceited" thing aimed at me?

I'll take it as a compliment, thanks!

E

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 207

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 6:40:29 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

well you lost me there cloudboy. I meant what I said out of context to you using that in reply to someone else. Im not sure who even you refer to. I thought your thought stood well all alone. THATS how I meant it.

If we're refering to I beleive the anrgy crossdresser, well, I for one understand the anger. Its a stage. Its an act of grieving. I have at times felt massively mad at the world. And Im sure for good reason.

I have not come here to deride. I have come to understand and learn. And you have all given me that chance. And to all of you I say thanks for both the good posts and bad. Happy and sad, insightful and shallow. it all serves me well at times. Thanks.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 208

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 6:43:33 AM

paCDponygirl

Posts: 20
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

Mistress Heather,
Most people are able to express their opinions in more than one way. Was it the opinion that set some of these girls off or was it the way in which the opinion was voiced that did it? Also, its hard to have "ANY concept of dominant women" when we have very little interaction with them to be able to understand them. (i am leaving Prodommes out here because you never know if they are really Dommes or just doing a job) i get very few repsones to my emails and i am sure that is not an uncommon problem. Personally i have several Domme friends. we do not play, i am not their cup of tea as a slave, but we are friends. my understanding is that that is rare though. The point is that without interaction it is hard to have a concept of a dominant women........plus, Your idea of a dominant woman is not everyones. Just like you can have a room full of foot fetish subs and every one of their fantasies will be different (some slightly, some very much) i would think that the same applies to Dommes.
lauren

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 209

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 9:40:08 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

paCDponygirl

I do hope that you understand that my post about numbers was meant to come across as encouragment.

I hope that you can find it worth your time to not give up because giving up is failure... automatic, immediate & undisputable.

I understand how frustrating the process of meeting others can be. Believe me, I know. What I wanted to express was the yang to the yin you wrote about, you being the seeker & I being the one that is sought out. Though on different sides of this hunt we are each faced with the same issues & the same weeding out process.

I so relate to the short fuse thing Miss Pandora wrote about as well. On one of my ID profile for a popular message program I have wrote that I won't reply to anonymous messages & that email contact first is required. I also mention that if this is ignored I will block. I block numourous people everyday because of this. So yesterday I get an IM & the name seemed familiar so I answered it with a question mark. Then I get a how are you doing today & I asked do I know you & the person said no, I saw your profile & thought I would say hi. I said did you read my profile & theyt said yes & to this I replied if you read my profile then you saw that I don't want to be messaged by people I don't know... the guy then says well I thought I would message you anyway to see if you would live up to your word & not reply.... ARRRGGGGGGG!! It's crap like this that chips away at me as time goes on. It's crap like this that has me set up my guidelines as to making initial contacts with others online. Sure, I broke my rule but only because there was a small chance that it was actually a friend this time but it also enforced my decision as to why I have this rule... to weed out those that I know will waste my time.

SO the moral of this story... if we are going to be open to meeting others, we are going to accept that we are going to have a considerable amount of our time sacrificed in this search. In the end when we do actually meet someone that is perfect for us... do we really focus on the time spent as a waste? For me it was an investment of self & it paid off 1000's of time over.

Never give up because anything worth having is worth working for because most things that come easy to us in life are never truly appreciated... wise words offered to me from my Father. Not sure if they are his own but nonetheless... words I heard repeatedly growing up & words that I have found to be absolutely true.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to paCDponygirl)

Post #: 210

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 10:20:13 AM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

SO the moral of this story... if we are going to be open to meeting others, we are going to accept that we are going to have a considerable amount of our time sacrificed in this search. In the end when we do actually meet someone that is perfect for us... do we really focus on the time spent as a waste? For me it was an investment of self & it paid off 1000's of time over.

Well put.

For some of us its going to take much longer because our pool of choices is so limited.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 211

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 10:35:30 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

to mstrsspassion sissytoserve cloudboy and ladyellen. MstrssPassion has said something today that has struck a nerve. She talked about being open to others and connecting with people.

I must honestly say something to the 4 of you. Each of you in your own way has opened yourself to us in such an amazing way that believe it or not, I feel like I know you. Or that you have allowed me to see a big part of the person that you are deep down. And in each and every one of you, theres really a soul that's very much likeable, and love-able. Really. Intelligent, kind, fiesty and Brave. Very very Brave.

You may not see yourselves as that, but its all very plain to me. Thank you so much. I will look for your posts from now on just to see what you have to say. Your words are all of interest to me. Youve done us all a great service here. Sophie

(in reply to sissifytoserve)

Post #: 212

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 10:57:25 AM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Sophia.

I just wanted to express how angry it made me to see how crossdressers (not all the time) are treated here.

Now I'm going to have to go back in the forum and read some of your posts!

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 213

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 11:09:59 AM

paCDponygirl

Posts: 20
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

MstrssPassion, (curtsey)
Thank you for clarifying what you were saying. i appreciate your words of encouragement. i understand Your frustrations. i get it all the time from males (dom and sub) too. If i see someone new online, i will probably e-mail them. As far as pursuing things on my own or buying new bondage toys or clothes goes i doubt i will do that anymore unless i met someone for real. Anyway. Best of luck to You all.
lauren

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 214

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 12:20:16 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

You all asked for a mistress's input, didn't like what she had to say, and then attacked her viewpoint. Notice the title of this forum is "Ask a Mistress". Not, get into a debate with a Mistress. If you had ANY concept of dominant women, you would know that the SECOND you become argumentative, we are most likely going to continue defending our viewpoint, and the longer we have to do it, the more irritated and irked we get. I'm suprised these wonderful Ladies put up with this BS thread for so long.

Oh, and cross dressers aren't my thing I will play with them as clients, but in my personal life, I prefer subs for whom it is PUNISHMENT as opposed to FUN for me to make them dress as a girl.

Mistress Heather
www.mizzspice.net
Hell Hath No Fury.....

That's completely besides the point. I don't think you should defend someone whose range of posting mirrors that of a dummy on a drawstring.

Everyone got her (lotusong) opinion way back --- why keep repeating it as if the audience can't read? Why keep pulling the string expecting the dummy to say something new, interesting, or insightful?

One more thing, message boards are all about debate ----- why would you read them if they weren't?

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 215

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 1:11:59 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Everyone got her (lotusong) opinion way back --- why keep repeating it as if the audience can't read? Why keep pulling the string expecting the dummy to say something new, interesting, or insightful? (Cloudboy)

Wait a second - does this mean that its Lotus that's conceited? My arrogant ego finds it difficult to accept that! I quite like being thought of as conceited!

More seriously, everyone has made valuable contributions to this I think - and yes, CDs do face a more difficult search than others, but thats in the nature of it I'd say, when its basis is in emulating those whom the CD wants to attract. But there are success stories out there, so it isnt impossible, just very difficult. Never give up, as MstrssP says - whatever your status, interest, desires etc, because giving up is what it says on the tin.

Crossdressing is not a flaw in character, and there is nothing wrong with it in itself. But at the same time that everyone here should accept it, (and I hope everyone here does), that doesnt mean everyone here should hold it to be the number one characteristic in a possible partner, or even desire it at all in a possible partner. To the ladies here present, I'd have to say that a lot of these CD guys are actually ideal partners, because the benefits they feel from crossdressing often arise because they are "real men" in normal life, reliable, responsible and stressed out from it. Whilst I know I couldnt find even my ideal man attractive in a dress, I'd like to think that his occasional crossdressing would not get in the way of who he is the rest of the time, and that I wouldnt reject all his good points for one thing he likes which does little or nothing for me.

E

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 216

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 2:16:56 PM

angelwingrazor

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline

you know, i really don't like the fact that crossdressing is used as a method of humiliating someone most of the time it's present. I don't like being reminded of the fact that i was born male, myself, you know?

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 217

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 2:40:02 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelwingrazor

you know, i really don't like the fact that crossdressing is used as a method of humiliating someone most of the time it's present. I don't like being reminded of the fact that i was born male, myself, you know?

Hi angel

Before I get flamed - yes, I know I havent had experience of every situation ever in the history of the world! This is my experience OK?

In my experience in this world (bdsm), its not so much that crossdressing is used by a dominant to humiliate a sub, its more that the sub crossdresses willingly as an adjunct to their humility. Its never in my experience a case of "forced" feminisation, even if that is the fantasy of a particular scene. (force is often required to unfeminise them though LOL!)

QUESTION - how do the activities of crossdressers affect you exactly, if you dont mind me asking? For me (I'm in the same place as you) what they do has no effect whatever on me, even as a reminder. I'm interested.

Thanks
E

(in reply to angelwingrazor)

Post #: 218

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 2:44:44 PM

angelwingrazor

Posts: 26
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline

affect me? I'm a pre-op trans, and a slave, so they really don't affect me all too much.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 219

RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/23/2006 4:37:10 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

You all asked for a mistress's input, didn't like what she had to say, and then attacked her viewpoint. Notice the title of this forum is "Ask a Mistress". Not, get into a debate with a Mistress. I'm suprised these wonderful Ladies put up with this BS thread for so long.

Mistress Heather
www.mizzspice.net
Hell Hath No Fury.....

EXACTLY. THANK YOU!

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 220

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