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LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/19/2006 2:44:04 AM)
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I'm going to post this because there seems to be the same confusion here as one finds in general life, about the whole phenomenon of crossdressing/ transvestism / transgender / transsexual. Apologies if I'm preaching to the perverted, and apologies if I'm simplifying things and not including everything, but I think its important.
First, its vital to understand terms. Sex is a biological term, usually understood to be male or female. Sex is determined by the arrangement of chromosomes in the foetus; XX (female), XY (male) and XXY and other such combinations for intersex people who share some characteristics of both female and male. The arrangement of chromosomes in the foetus either makes or does not make that foetus susceptible to changes brought about by hormones in utero. The default for all foeti is female, and it is only because a male XY foetus is susceptible to the action of testosterone that the foetus develops male genitalia; if testosterone is not present then even an XY foetus will be born with female organs. If the action of testosterone is inhibited, as in the case of XXY intersex foeti then the result can be ambivalent sexual development. The latest research into transsexuality (gender identity disorder) is indicating something of the latter case in at least the brain development of what are otherwise normal male sexed or female sexed foeti; a hormonal imbalance causing the brain of the foetus to be at variance with the chromosomally determined body sex - and explaining the hows and whys of a TS person feeling they are of one sex, whilst their body is of the other.
Gender - this is not the same as sex. Gender is a socially determined function. In the majority of cases, sex and gender are the same; one is female and one feels female. From gender, gender identity and gender roles are discussed, rather than sexual identity and sexual role, which are clearly more biological than social in nature.
Many people believe that cross gender behaviours are one long spectrum, ranging from the guy who masturbates wearing frilly knickers at one end, through to transsexuals living 24/7 in an adopted sex at the other. This is not the case, though it is understandable in that many transsexuals in their confusion and desperation will seek out crossdressers of all kinds with whom they can explore themselves in comparative safety, and will later emerge from that group in order to transition properly. The impression therefore to outsiders is that a transsexual is simply a transvestite who wants a lifetime buzz from crossdressing. However, the nature and motivations of part time crossdressers and transsexuals are very different.
The nature of transvestites (used as an umbrella term for part time crossdressers of all types) is very different to those of transsexuals (again used as a broad term for full time crossdressers of all types). A transvestite suffers no confusion between mind and body, and crossdresses for a variety of motives ranging from simple fetishistic pleasure, exhibitionism, stress release, inhibition release and likely many others besides. Throughout the whole episode, they remain men (and it is mostly associated with men since female crossdressers are largely invisible in our society), and enjoy a male reaction to their crossdressing. Because these episodes are often short and very occasional, they will also tend to go to excessive lengths to indulge the most feminine appearance possible, by way of clothing, make up and accessories; in the main, it is about how the crossdressing affects them, and in typically male manner, more equals a better experience. The vast majority will never venture from their own house or some other safe refuge, and the vast majority will reject any form of treatment which might affect their male sexuality or body appearance. It is one of the tests used by one specialist, to sort transvestites from transsexuals, that he gives a prescription for female hormones and testosterone suppressants; from his experience, he knows that transvestites will soon give up on these treatments when their erection fails them and they develop breast tissue, because to a classic transvestite these two occurrences are nightmarish. That some transvestities use such treatments and then use viagra to regain their potency has confused this test, though blood analyses will show whether this is the case. All in all, a transvestite is a normal man who engages in crossdressing for psycho-sexual reasons.
Transsexuals on the other hand, long thought by the medical community to be psychologically ill people, seem by the latest research to be suffering from a medical condition arising from hormonal imbalance in utero. Their bodies are sexually normal and functional, but their brains appear to be constructed as per the opposite sex to their body; since the mind arises and functions within the structure of the brain, they tend as people to be alike with the sex of their brain rather than that of their body. They generally struggle through life, some becoming aware of the disjoint early, some much later. Most try to conform to the gender which society says they are by virtue of their body sex, and many will go to excessive lengths to try to prove to themselves and others that they are "normal"; many will have married and had children, chosen careers specifically and engaged in outside activities to prove themselves. There is an urban legend which says that the highest number of transsexuals per capita who were members of the British Army, are ex SAS members. Sooner or later however, the disjoint which caused them trouble throughout life will eventually emerge - often via a total breakdown as the psychological stress of trying to live as someone else overcomes their resolve to do so. Suicide is the leading cause of death amongst transsexuals - not only because of this stress, but also because in seeking treatment they usually lose jobs, homes, partners, contact with children, families, friends and everything else, as well as receiving daily harassment, abuse, violence and even death threats from strangers and even those formerly considered to be friends and family. It should be clear enough simply from that last statement, that the motive and nature of full time transition to the other sex is not one taken lightly, and not an easy thing to do - it is done because it is the only thing that can be done and the one thing that must be done. It is not in the nature of the matter for it to be something that one wakes up one morning and decides to do. It is a totally life shattering event based on genuine need - not psycho-sexual desire. Following satisfactory evaluation the transsexual will embark on treatment to alter their body to fit their mind - a painful, expensive and difficult process which requires a great deal of conviction in overcoming the many obstacles put in the way by the medical community as a means of sorting the boys from the girls (in the case of MtF) - the idea being that only those for whom this is a need will continue. Hormonal treatments will alter the body permanently before surgery is even contemplated; whilst the transvestite will abhor such changes, the transsexual will welcome them or be dispassionate about them. Under such treatments, the transsexual loses her penis long before a scalpel is used. Of course, for the transition it also becomes necessary for the transsexual to adopt the clothing of the adopted sex. Here is where the difference between transvestite and transsexual crossdressing is most plainly seen; whilst the transvestite seeks an episodic "thrill" and will go to excessive lengths to maximise the way the clothes make them feel, the transsexual will dress normally for a woman of her age and adapt this to her environment. For the transsexual, it is not about the clothes or how they make her feel, it is about blending in as best she can in the new identity. A transvesite will be disappointed if he is not noticed, whilst a transsexual will be disappointed if she is noticed!
As short hand;
Transvestic crossdressing is an act of doing
Transsexual crossdressing is an act of being
As to the place of each over generalised group in bdsm, then I do not really see how they can be excluded. It is simply not possible to nail down exactly who can belong and what activities belong, unless we are to reduce the whole thing to one aspect of it which excludes all else and which thereby excludes the vast majority of people.
Transvestites belong, inasmuch as they get and give something in bdsm; who is to say that the change of identity wrought by crossdressing is any different to the change in identity wrought by wearing leather/PVC/rubber etc and which many in bdsm undertake in order to play a role? Not everyone has to like it, and no one is expected to like it, but looking at it disapassionately from the outside its the very same thing. I dont like some people's means of changing identity, so do they ergo not belong too?
Transsexuals belong, inasmuch as they remain sexual beings and remain people; who is to say that any form of condition precludes someone from involvement? Should amputees be excluded because some people find their appearance distasteful? Not everyone has to like it and no one is expecting everyone to like it, but looking at it dispassionately from the outside, it seems odd that one type of "weirdo" might be excluded whilst almost any other variety of "weirdo" is welcome. I dont like certain other types of people, does this mean they shouldnt belong?
E
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