RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ?

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LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/21/2006 9:53:51 AM)
Coming on Command... is it real or Memorex? I have no idea Lotus - but be sure to press PLAY and not FFWD either way E

BalletBob -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/21/2006 3:36:22 PM)
OK...NOW it is time for my two cents. I do like to Cross Dress, but I DON'T want to be a woman. I don't look in the mirror and say, YOU GO GIRL ! I haven't seen anyone say about how good female clothing feels, which is the MAIN REASON I Cross Dress. I would much rather wear a pair of Nylon Panties to a MACHO ALPHA MALE pair of Briefs or Boxers. They are so BORING ! When I had MADAM, she liked me to dress in Leotards and Tights....ETC, and I served her needs. It was just an addition to the session, and was FUN, and not the focus point. SHE WAS THE FOCUS POINT ! PERIOD ! I hope the next Mistress i find gets enjoyment out of it too, as much as MADAM did, or I just won't do it. This thing can go the other way too...where are the REAL FEMALES ? I hear a lot about "I Prefer Alpha Males"....well I prefer a REAL FEMALE. I have not seen a REAL FEMALE (Like you call a REAL MAN, that wears Work Boots and Such), in a Dress, with nice leg coverings (Tights maybe) or sensible shoes (Mary Janes Maybe) for some time. ALL I see are Jeans, T Shirts and those Heavy UGLY Sneakers...clothing like a ALPHA MALE would wear. It seems we are surrounded by them, and maybe that's why so many Dommes feel threatened , by Male Cross Dressers. Just my opinion. I just wanted to put up another reason to Cross Dress, and let the HATERS know there are as many reasons to Cross Dress, as there are to be a Domme. Now where did I leave my Tutu and Pointe Shoes, BalletBob PS I am also a Ballet Fanatic, which doesn't have anything to do with Leotards and Tights, but some might say I am into Ballet because I am a Cross Dresser, but I am not. I found Ballet a very long time before, I discovered Dressing up.

WhyteRavenne -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/21/2006 3:45:54 PM)
Cross dressing is wonderful, I've had the pleasure of working on men that have no Top, and still enjoy the freedom to choose what they wear. That being said, I think it's a bit of an unfair question, since not every femme Top wants a crossdresser and not every bottom wants to be one. (also some men just look dang sexy in a skirt, and some look so bad it makes me collapse in tears... it's hard to be humiliating when you can't stop from laughing)

paCDponygirl -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/21/2006 4:21:21 PM)
Wow............i am even more depressed now than before. i have been looking for a Domme for many years with no success. It could be me. i admit that even as a cd i am a bit of an odd duck or it could be that most Dommes aren't into CDs. Doesn't really matter why, it still leaves me alone. Anyway, nothing i can do about it. It would just be nice to get some sort of reply to an e-mail even if it is simply "not interested". In all honesty i get very few replies back one way or another regardles if it is 1 line, 8 paragraphs or anywhere in between. The original post did sound more like an ad than a question (sorry). Of course that was 163 posts ago that i read it so maybe i am mistaken. lol. Maybe i will take another stab at the vanila world again. lauren

LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 1:20:00 AM)
CDs of the world - dont despair! Its not that anyone hates you. Its just seems that a lot of ladies dont have a preference for CD guys or that they have had poor experiences with those they've known that put them off trying again. Balletbob seems to have the balance right, and I think he wouldnt be the only one like him. And plenty of ladies have contributed to say they are either neutral or welcoming - so there must be hope. E

angelwingrazor -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 2:06:50 AM)
wellll........it's not hindering me much. but i consider myself transexxual, not a crossdresser, because i'm not internally male. soon to be externally:p

paCDponygirl -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 4:45:39 AM)
Lady Ellen, (curtsey) All i can say is that i am in the Phila area and besides here i used to be on Alt as well as Bondage.com. i belong to 31 pages of yahoo groups, i go to the Darkside occasionally, i have been to the Playground when it was up and running, i check out the aol profile seach and the yahoo members search. It's not like i have my head in the sand and its not like the Philadelphia, Delaware, South Jersey area is small or in the middle of no where. So far, and i have been in the area 15 years, i have not been able to find a Domme. Like i said, i realize i am an odd duck so maybe it is just me. If i was meeting people and it was just that we weren't clicking, i would say ok, but i have sent out probably over 150 introductory e-mails over the years and have only gotten maybe 2 dozen responses back. Of them, less than a handfull said they may be interested in a cd and of those Dommes, i only ever met 1 (please keep in mind i am refering to Non Prodommes) and She moved away. So, its kinda hard not to dispair. i have made friends with some of them and we chat and occasionally hang out, but i know they have no interest in me as a sub and thats fine too. i even tried guys cause i get a huge number of e-mails from them but the ones who contact me just want quickies. The fact is that i am not really into guys either. Judging by my experience withthem i would have to think that Dommes would have just as many if not more bad experiences with regular males slaves but they don't seem to be put off by them, or at least they still consider them. Oh well. Right now my stuff is all packed up and put away in storage. Has been for about 6 months now and at the moment i have no plans on getting any of it back out again. At least this way i don't have to worry about being found out by someone stopping over. lauren :(

LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 5:03:27 AM)
Hi Lauren Its difficult I know. I'm TS and I have had exactly the same experiences, though only for the last five years compared to your fifteen, and although I'm not really a CD I face the same prejudice all the time as you, only for me its 24/7! And thats with being and looking so much like a genetic female that only those who knew me before have any idea. I can attract dozens of heterosexual guys, there's one alpha male in particular who genuinely loves me, but in the end it comes down to me not having the right chromosomes. Gay males dont want me (mind, I wouldnt want them either!) because I'm not a guy, and bisexual males just find me confusing. For heterosexual women I'm a friend, for lesbian women and bisexual women I'm a curiosity. So, I'm sure I will soon be ticking off year fifteen too. I threw a challenge out to CD males a few pages back, but no one answered. So here it is again. I am indistinguishable from a natural woman in every way - if I said "yes I love your crossdressing and yes I'd love to have you as my sub" - what would be your reaction? E

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 5:17:51 AM)
The one thing that you have to remember is that there just aren't a lot of lifestyle Dommes out there in relation to the amount of male subs that are around. When you have really specific interests that you want to explore, that narrows an already small pool down even more considerably. I'm not saying that you shouldn't see what you need in your life - however, there's no point in getting bent out of shape because "the perfect Mistress" isn't appearing on your doorstep the moment you hang out your sign saying you are looking for one. It's going to take time, rejection, and there are no guarantees it will even happen. And truly - that is sometimes the case. When I talk to some people in the lifestyle - sometimes I wonder why they look at all, because what they look for is so narrow and specific. The best course you can go, in my opinion, is work on your own life - make it enriching and satisfying with friends and hobbies and interests - to keep it in balance. The more whole you are as a person, the more likely you are to attact that "One" once you meet her. If you let yourself get bitter and depressed and desparate - she'll run like hell. The other thing is to truly examine what you are looking for, and know how flexible you can be - because you're not going to get 100% of what you want. No one does. If what you seek is very narrow and specific, figure out what you can do to widen those possibilities. There are things you can do to stack the cards more in your favor. Believe me - Dommes go through the same thing. Now, the good news is that I know quite a few "happy couples" that are in BDSM based relationships, so it DOES happen. Several of them are even between subs who CD/TG/TS and Dommes.

paCDponygirl -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 6:55:58 AM)
Lady Ellen, (curtsey) As for the challenge,........i don't know......i mean i have considered and still do playing with a Domme cd or ts but just as a Domme/sub thing. i don't know if i would consider You for a full time Domme to feminize me because although You have gone through the process, i don't know that You have really had the 'growing up life experiences' that i am looking for to help me really get into the head space. You have to remember that i identify more with a young girl and not a woman. i am sure You have tremendous experience living as a woman, but probably little if any say, taking ballet classes as a girl or cheerleading or going through the preteen years as a girl. Strictly as a Domme/slave girl session i wouldn,t have a probklem with You. i hope You don't end up like my. i am almost 40 now and its pretty much over. i hope You find someone. You know i never thought it would be so hard to find a Domme to pamper and serve:( lauren

paCDponygirl -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 7:12:33 AM)
Ms Sonnet, (curtsey) Many years ago when i first got into this i was looking for that perfect Domme. After about 5 years of that i realized the need for flexibility. It is kind of like any realtionship. Believe me when i say that i am flexibile. Besides crossdressing, i have a huge number of fetishes and kinks. i think i am pretty honest and let people know that we can see what we can work out with what we have in common and not worry about everything else. Believe me i have looked over the whole spectrum. There have been ads for people just into one kink or fetish and people into it all, and people into any combo in between. Crossdressing is just one of those fetishes that is hard to ignore. For me it is a big part of who i am. i am sure there are happy couples out there. i have no doubt. i am sure some are even cd/tv mixes. It just isn't happening for me. It is what it is and you make the best of it. i don't think i show that i am depressed when i e-mail a Domme. i am actually very upbeat at the prospect of finding someone......................its only after they have read the message and not responded, even though i have seen them online a number of times over the following week that i get depressed. Is it really that hard to be just hit the reply button, type 'not interested' and hit the send button. i mean come on. Its rude and its lazy. i get tons of e-mails from guys. they know i am not interested but they e-mail anyway. i take the 5 seconds it takes and send a not interested to them even though they have completely ignored my profile. Anyway best regards lauren

tasha_tart -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 7:21:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen I threw a challenge out to CD males a few pages back, but no one answered. So here it is again. I am indistinguishable from a natural woman in every way - if I said "yes I love your crossdressing and yes I'd love to have you as my sub" - what would be your reaction? E Actually, I did reply to that post. (#151) Tasha

LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 7:49:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: paCDponygirl Lady Ellen, (curtsey) As for the challenge,........i don't know......i mean i have considered and still do playing with a Domme cd or ts but just as a Domme/sub thing. i don't know if i would consider You for a full time Domme to feminize me because although You have gone through the process, i don't know that You have really had the 'growing up life experiences' that i am looking for to help me really get into the head space. You have to remember that i identify more with a young girl and not a woman. i am sure You have tremendous experience living as a woman, but probably little if any say, taking ballet classes as a girl or cheerleading or going through the preteen years as a girl. Strictly as a Domme/slave girl session i wouldn,t have a probklem with You. i hope You don't end up like my. i am almost 40 now and its pretty much over. i hope You find someone. You know i never thought it would be so hard to find a Domme to pamper and serve:( lauren Hi Lauren Thanks for the answer. I was interested to find out too, but I apologise, it was originally a trick question aimed at one person in particular. You are right though - I missed out on a lot because of the way I am; not only the girl stuff, but the boy stuff too as they wouldnt have me and I wasnt interested. You have a real fun childhood when you have to hide away all the time..... and obviously all that has an effect on you. Good luck E

LadyEllen -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 7:56:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tasha_tart quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen I threw a challenge out to CD males a few pages back, but no one answered. So here it is again. I am indistinguishable from a natural woman in every way - if I said "yes I love your crossdressing and yes I'd love to have you as my sub" - what would be your reaction? E Actually, I did reply to that post. (#151) Tasha Hi Tasha Sorry - yes you did! And I read it! but then I'm a bit blonde.....! Thank you for at least not knocking the idea back, and congrats on a good answer too - I know for sure that right now I could get half a dozen local CDs, but could I live with them - no, could I love them - no. Not because theyre CDs but because theyre not people I'd want to live with or could love. But if the right person came along, whether they were CD or not wouldnt be an issue - but yes, I'd always let them take off their heels if they wanted to run for it! And yes, I am too good to be true - except, yes here I am! LOL! Thanks E

MstrssPassion -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 10:06:29 AM)
quote: i have sent out probably over 150 introductory e-mails over the years and have only gotten maybe 2 dozen responses back. Of them, less than a handfull said they may be interested in a cd and of those Dommes, i only ever met 1 (please keep in mind i am refering to Non Prodommes) and She moved away Please believe me when I say I'm not trying to discredit your feelings of frustration but I had to comment that those are actually pretty damn fine numbers. Consider this: I've been involved in the scene over 20 yrs & online for about 12 yrs. I attend a lot of real time events. (less over the last 3 yrs) I have & had profiles on most every personal site out there. I belong to discussion groups & own discussion groups. I post on forums, etc. OK I receive no less than 50 emails a day from people interested in me. Times that by the time I have been online. (big number huh?) I attend events... never have I been to an event where I am not approached by at least 3 people & often as many as a dozen. A few years ago I had to regular parties I attended each month & I also attended 1 or 2 munches each month... so let's say 4 events times ahhhhhh 5 people... 20 face to face contacts a month added to that other big number. With all of those contacts both online & realtime I was COMPLETELY single for nearly 10 yrs!!!! I had a few play partners but that isn't what I wanted. I have a partner now. We made it. SO you sent out 150 emails & you actually met someone. Thats great! I'm sorry the move ruined further exploration but at least you got one hit out of 150 attempts. You did a lot better than I did ....& from what I read... I'm a rare find... semi attractive, not too old, non-pro dominant, no tribute wanted before we proceed type that isn't a supremacist & is actually quite compassionate toward submissive & their rights & well being.

paCDponygirl -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 11:25:19 AM)
MstressPassion, (curtsey) "Damn fine numbers"??? i met one person in 15 years who was even interested in exploring a cd sub. Even if She had stayed, i doubt highly that it would have worked, but regardless of why, it didn't. That 150 number reflects just about the entirety of the local, non-pro, Dommes and switches in my area. Right now all i do is wait for someone new to come on the scene and e-mail them. Occasionally i will re-check other profiles to see if maybe over time they have changed their minds. 1 out of 150 may be less of a ratio than you, but is yours 1 out of the entire eligible population? Mine is. And the reality is that so far it is 0 out of the entire eligible population. Plus, You HAVE found someone. Certainly it took you 10 years and thats a long time, but I am on 15 and counting. i don't want You to cry me a river. It is what it is. By the way, the others who did seem interested just fizzled out, a common oocurance in the BDSM scene. lauren

SubNY278 -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 11:43:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston It amazes me that people will bitch about not finding their perfect match here on CM and wonder at why. It must, of course be us terrible fem dommy type creatures. Couldn't possible be anything regarding attitude, clearly hateful forum posts and one's own issues and insecurities. Now that's not fair. I've been a member of this site for a while and while I'm new to posting on the forums, you won't see any hateful or venomous remarks from me. And yet, I still haven't found anyone to serve. Somehow, in my case, I doubt it's hateful forum posts, a bad attitude or insecurities that have resulted in that. Again, subs are being lumped together....there's some subs out there that are fake and whine, and there's some CD's out there who claim they are subs but actually aren't, and because they exist, surely most subs and CD's must be like that! That's really not how it works though. I really wish Dommes (and subs, and all people in general) took the time to look at an individual without falling back on misconceptions and stereotypes to formulate judgment for them.

SubNY278 -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 11:46:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong *Am I the only one that doesn't really see the connection between D/sBDSM and cross dressing? I never have.* *D=Dominance* *S=Submission* *B=Bondage* *D=Discipline* *S=Sadism* *M=Masochism* Nope.. I don't see "cross dressing" in that Alphabet soup. This is why I'm so surprised to see them wanting to become involved in it. A masochistic/dominant or submissive.. I can see. There is an interest in the activities. But to get upset because we might not wish to relate to the cross-dressing behavior because we enjoy mind control, flogging, needle play or whatever.. is misplaced. Do you feel the same way about Male Dominants? There are some that play with CD's also.. but the CD has to have an interest in what the DOM/ME likes also. *I think you are genuflecting in the Synagogue.. Right church- wrong pew?* *Have you tried groups like Tri-S? (I believe that is how it's spelled)* *You know what I'M tired of? The "If you are a Domme you have to like EVERYTHING!" I think most of us have opened out minds to cross-dressers and just not found it to our liking is all.* *The one transvestite I LOVE is Eddie Izzard. He's one dapper dresser, but just acts like a regular guy. THAT'S what is appealing to me. He's not TRYING to feign a woman's persona.* Well I don't see needle play or flogging in the alphabet soup either, but for many Dommes and subs that's acceptable. So why not crossdressing, for subs and Dommes who genuinely enjoy it?

SubNY278 -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 11:48:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Ever read the book "The Emancipated Cross Dresser"? That was written by the husband of a Domme friend of mine. He came out to my group. a number of years ago. (Het. Domme/male sub group I started) He's usually the key-note speaker at the functions across the country... (Lacey Leigh) http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/002-0260290-8392803?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=the+emancipated+crossdresser&Go.x=14&Go.y=8 After awhile he realized that he really wasn't in to D/s BDSM. He just wanted a place to dress. I encouraged him to start his own group. He actually rented a house in which cross dressers could meet and dress and discuss things. That fell flat. The CD's just didn't have the initiative to go and help each other. It was so much easier to latch on to another group... and then cry bigotry. He went on to become the head of Tri-S and even HE got fed up with them. I connected him with a hairdresser and nail Tec for his first manicure. He has since found his comfort zone and enjoying his cross dressing. There is a book by Samantha Adams "Through the Jungle http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0595310028/qid=1109962165/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/104-1457744-7974339?v=glance&s=books". This is about a transgendered lady AND her transgendered husband.. The "Tom" in her book- her mentor- is my brother. So don't give me the "you don't understand" bit.. OK? I DO understand.. and it's just not my thing! I've tried to help.. I've included them.. been there.. done that..OK?? Got my little Girl Scout badge and everything. I even helped an elderly cross dresser across the street. I personally do NOT see cross dressing as a fetish nor part of the lifestyle UNLESS the Cross dresser enjoys the rest of it. There are masochistic cross dressers out there. There are Dom cross dressers out there.. THAT's what I mean. To bitch that "I went to the dungeon and no one wanted to look at me" just makes me shake my head and throw my hands in the air. What's next? I went to a KKK meeting and they didn't want to sing the Negro spirituals I brought with me? WELL! (Head-toss, hair-flip.. stomping out of the room, DOOR SLAM!) I say what I say about things like I do because I HAVE encountered situations and experiences. And some things just don’t appeal to me. And I just bless them and let them go on their merry way. If one’s happiness is based on another person’s acceptance .. then they will never be happy. It’s got to come from within. You're basing your belief on your own prejudice as well as what a couple of authors wrote. I think that;s hardly representative of all other Dommes, let alone subs. That, and most dungeons actually do offer crossdressing as one of the things subs can experience. At least, the dungeons I know, and there are several of them.

SubNY278 -> RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? (9/22/2006 12:00:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lunamor sissytoserve, you just keep missing the point so you can turn it around to play the victim... I don't dislike CDs and I don't think that anyone here has said that - but I (like many other doms) do find that a CDs' fetish would interfere with what interests me, so I'm not very willing to work with a CD for that reason (and I have the same feeling for other monothematic fetishists i.e. foot, shoe, etc). As for lumping CDs together indiscriminately instead of considering each as "a person": individual character matters, of course! I wouldn't want to have anything to do with angry, resentful or antagonistic people of any kind, pervy OR vanilla; and although the cross-dressing fetish could be an obstacle to taking on a particular CD as a slave, a giving, charming CD with a sterling character could make me want to spend some kind of time together, at least as friends and who knows what else? Mstrjx, your point about changing yourself and thereby effecting change in the way others relate to you was dead on, thanks for adding that. Lunamor But you are lumping everyone together, because not all CDs put their favorite fetish ahead of everything else. I certainly don't, but many times it's hard to even get a chance to get that out because the judge has already issued a verdict. I am not angry or resentful but I do wish people viewed others as individuals and not just as a duplicate copy of a stereotypical group.

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