Too addicted?

Too addicted? (Full Version)

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Adelphus -> Too addicted? (9/18/2006 10:32:00 AM)
Here's the deal. I never had a crazy hormonal teenage era, I guess I just bloomed very late. It wasn't until I learned about BDSM that I even sought out anything sexual in nature, but it must have been like a dam burst. I think I may be addicted and it scares me. I go to a party once a month, that should be enough, right? But it isn't I'm good for about a week and then I start getting frustrated, desperate almost. I feel like I should be able to wait the month for my fix because I lived this long without it, right? And then it gets worse, I actually fall in lust with someone attainable. (meaning not Tilda Swinton). I've never experienced such an irrational feeling before. It's so constant and strong, I feel like it's running my life. Couple that with my BDSM craving and I have a situation. Then add in the fact that said domme is very interested in me, and you have me banging my head against the wall. I don't know when she'll ask for me, for what, how long, if ever. There won't be any parties in my area for another two weeks, so I just keep obsessing and I hate it. It also scares me because I have a soul-mate of 8 years that is vanilla and straight. She totally supports me, but I’m terrified that the lust for this new domme will make me leave her or hurt her in some way. I’ve seen it happen with other people and I don’t want it to happen to us. Is there something wrong with me? Do I have an unhealthy addiction?

spanklette -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 10:35:55 AM)
Slow down!! From what you're saying it sounds like sub frenzy...do a little research and I think you'll recognize yourself.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 10:54:05 AM)
I understand what you're talking about; the energy behind finding what you've craved, even unknowingly, can leave you quite drunk. you know that when we find something that we love, we will obsess...ever spent a weekend breaking a game or couldn't put a book down until you finished? If your Domme and mate agree and you are totally comfortable with the Dominant, go with it. What you don't want to do is play with just anyone who comes along. A healthy outlet for sub frenzy, if you can't control it, is certainly what you want. The craving may or may not fade, but I'm betting it will. Be patient with yourself. you're a writer...the frustration might be a good muse. Master Fire

Adelphus -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 11:26:00 AM)
Hmmmm.... looked up sub-frenzy, seems to fit me three years ago.;-p Jeeze it sounds exactly like me three years ago! I did a lot of research so it kept me relativley safe but I still messed up pretty bad from it. I went through the whole thing and then was forced to drop out of the scene because of a new job. It haunted me for two years until I found out about a group that played in my home town (how psyced was I???) and it all came flowing back, a bit tempered by time mind you. So it's a fom of sub-frenzy, okay I'm not alone. That being said, any ideas on how to temper the beast? And writing helps, yes, just not enough.;-p

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 11:44:59 AM)
I am working to feed a hunger, similar in nature. My suggestion is lots of small pieces. It's kinda like eating...if you've been fasting for a long time, it's better to eat many small servings at a time, not a large feast. See if your Dominant has time for you once, maybe twice a week. Be sure to offer service (I suggest non-sexual in content) to show your appreciation in return. Be sure to talk to your mate about what's going on, too. Master Fire

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 3:56:27 PM)
How to temper the beast? The easy way: Remind yourself that you're still an adult, there's time to play and do things the smart way The hard way: Rush into things anyway, make bad choices and have to spend all your energy repairing from them

Owned1 -> RE: Too addicted? (9/18/2006 8:53:07 PM)
You say your partner is vanilla ~ why not serve her? Do things for her, give her massages, foot rubs, pedicures, do extras around the house for her. Let your mind wander and become the submissive/slave you are and let her see that side of you. This may help in keeping the bigger needs and desires in check for a period of time. And who knows the up side is she may enjoy it and you may discover a hidden inner Domme in your own back yard. Owned

toservez -> RE: Too addicted? (9/19/2006 6:42:58 AM)
I think since you are aware of your strong cravings and having actual experience your are not in sub frenzy but still in the early stages of understanding yourself and coping with your desires. You should not feel bad at all about wanting something more than once a month, or I am in big trouble, as most people who live this life want way more then once a month but if that is all your opportunity then you need to learn to cope and find safe outlets that may or may not have anything to do with the life. I hope you find your special someone to be owned soon so you can experience the life you want but until you do just stay self aware and looking for any self destructive actions and make sure you are not hurting people around you. I am guessing you are not even close to that from what I read.

raiken -> RE: Too addicted? (9/19/2006 10:35:28 AM)
To be addicted is to want something so bad, that you will begin to damage and hurt yourself and others in the process to fulfill your thirst, shedding the forethought needed to maintain a healthy balance. i don't believe from what you've shared that this is a true addiction for you. Sub frenzy is more like a ravaged and starved beast let out of its cage for the first time. i don't really see that from what you shared either. i believe that you may have an overwhelming an intense craving. You may just be overly frustrated and anxious, like a kid in a candy store, seeing it on the shelf but just out of reach. You may benefit from a good dose of healthy time management to keep your mind occupied and distracted from your cravings, until you gain a better understanding and control over your cravings and find a proper perspective and balance. You sound healthy enough to use time and research to your advantage, and be able to work out an effective system or strategy to help combat those times of intensity that flood your being. Been there and at times it was a challenge to find a solution or method that helped me calm those restless seas of emotions and that powerful that surge that ensues. Good luck, i believe that in time you will calm down a bit and find your rhythym and balance in this area. *smile

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