LuckyAlbatross
Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sirmagicky
Anyway....
Is it just me or does the current end just drop you like a cliff ?
Or is the ending fine and leave it alone ? What do you think ?
Sir Magic.
Ask and ye shall receive.
quote:
The art of Dominance is no different than that of a professional
dancer. At some point you must define your own personal style;
discover your inner meaning and where you want to go with it.
Otherwise when the orchestra of life begins to play, you will
not be dancing to the music, the music will be dancing you.
Nice common metaphor for life and for authority based relationships. Well executed and a nice introduction.
quote:
In my view, there is a distinct difference
between Dominants and Tops. This essay is directed specifically at
"Dominants". Yes, what I have to say could apply to Top's, bottoms,
Dom's, subs and slaves. However, today we are in the vain of
Dominance and submission
A) It's "vein."
B) You don't make any definitions clear, you just say you define the words differently.
quote:
For those of you who walk the path of "Mastery" there should come a
day of realization, (along with great horror) that if you and your
sub (slave, girl, boi, boy) were a car
comma
quote:
you would be careening all
over the road like a Saturday night drunk. In this way
relationships can be much like car wrecks you just can't help but
stop and stare; especially when it's not your wreck.
OK following up an elegant metaphor with an awkward and very different simile. Not usually the best way to go- it sets you up to sound like you're saying a whole lot and not actually saying anything at all. You make a good introduction, you could just cut this entire paragraph out and go "At some point in relationships as the one with authority, you find yourself in blind amazed horror at the fact you are, in fact, actually in the one in authority."
quote:
Without clarity you don't have much of a chance of being the
Dominant of someone dreams or your own. Some of you now are where I
have been, surely as I am currently where many have already
traveled.
OK... oh and "someone's"
quote:
I think many of us may know of a D/s relationship wherein the sub
rides ruff shot over the Dom,
That's "rough shod"
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the relationship and anyone else they
can. This is not to say Dominants control the relationship
Period.
quote:
for no
matter how we like to dress it up
Comma
quote:
a "relationship" requires the
participation and co-operation no dash
quote:
of two (or more) people.
However, as a Dominant
Comma
quote:
it is your responsibility to yourself, your
sub and your relationship to clearly define what you are about,
what you believe and stand for as a man / woman, then a Dominant.
OK again this sounds nice, but what are you SAYING that hasn't already been said a million gazillion times before and isn't painfully obvious? We're halfway done here and I'm not getting any insights.
If I were to say to you, tell me what your Dominance style is?
Define for me as a Dom, what you are about?
* Ding* Times up!!
Could you do it? If not you're not alone. One of the first steps to
defining yourself is know your own emotional responses.
OK I like the audience question grabber a LOT, but then where does this "steps to define yourself" come from? They two are unrelated. Either write a sentence to relate them or break into new paragraphs that flow together.
quote:
These questions should cause you to think clearly and precisely
about what it is you want, what do you hope to achieve. If you
don't have basic clarity on the nature of your partner then you
will easily succumb to the relationship of convenience and
compromise. If you are not clear on the nature of yourself and
partner, then how can you be clear on the constructs of your
relationship and it's boundaries?
Well quite easily actually. And the death of Ms relationships is not convenience or compromise. If you're trying to make a serious essay about self-discovery of dominance, those questions are great. If you're trying to make a statement about the nature of dominants, the end of this paragraph is empty.
quote:
Isn't it the purpose of a Dom to enforce agreed upon boundaries?
No. Again, you get into trouble when you try and define the nature of dominance in a Ds relationship. Stick to the purpose of this essay- discovering YOUR STYLE of dominance. You're heading way over into "preaching my/the style of dominance" land.
quote:
Yet if you can't define concisely what they are how can you enforce
them? One of the common complaints from submissive's is their
Dominant doesn't enforce the rules or notice boundary violations.
Yeah but how many are legitimate and how many are lonely housewives just waiting like eager puppies to get their next "subbie high" fix?
quote:
A
bigger question is, do you know precisely what the boundaries are?
After work, kids, bills traffic, are those boundaries reasonably
attainable in every day life?
Now THERE's an excellent question.
quote:
If you find as a person you don't
have the energy to live up to the expectations of yourself and your
sub as a Dominant then maybe you need to examine your baseline
expectations of what a D/s relationship means to you in everyday
life.
Yes! Back on track to the point of the essay.
quote:
One of the ways I get students to look at this is to sit down and
write me a short story in detail of a day in the life of their
ideal relationship. I have them meditate and visualize it in their
minds first what would life would be like from the time they get
up, to going to bed at the end of day.
This accomplishes several things: It allows one to see how they
perceive and process the world around them. What possible
emotional triggers they have in regard to relationships. What
their underlying belief system is and if there are any functional
conflicts at play.
I don't think the end of this drops off- I think it shows you're just getting started and really into the drive of where you are going. Keep going!
< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 9/18/2006 9:43:14 PM >
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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication
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RE: Defining your Dominance essay I think I got lost - - 
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