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RiotGirl -> RE: second to the ex... (9/25/2006 9:12:00 AM)
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Ok, i see it. Dun mind them, remeber humans are fallible.. so they're being fallible now. Asking simple question on these boards is NEVER simple. = ) You're right most arent answering your question - all they're doing is jumping all over everything else giving their opionons on a situation that isnt up for questions. They like drama, so be it. Used to happen to me alot, sucked me in majorly - you just need to learn how to phrase your question in a way that they cant do it. You need to add disclaimers and such. LOL
i've even actually gotten to the point of using something else to ask a question. If i've a question about something.. i use something else to ask about it - leaving my relationship out of the question. And i'd give you an example.. but i'm smarter then that now = ) So, my best advice if have a question, dont bring your relationship into it. It'll be cross examined, everyone will have an opionon and everyone will think they've a right and yer wrong and you'll end up feeling like a retard going "whoaaaaaa this got way out of hand! help!"
Just a tid bit of advice. The boards are a good place, but in order to get what you want here you need to figure out how to lay it out in such a way to not expose anything you dont want questioned. OR get a rep like mine and half of em will just ignore you anyways but you'll get a few really good responses that you can digest. = ) Helps cut through most of the bs from alot of the posters. And remember, thick skin is a must.
TO ANSWER your frackin question! I'd start with something like Master, your girl (or slave.. w/e) requests permission to speak. (once given) Master you're girl requests permission to bring up something bothering her. or something upseting her, or something she is unclear on, or request to ask a question, or something that she is unsure how to say, but feels it is her duty to say it. (its okay to not always be on your mark when speaking with a Master)
basically request permission to bring up the topic in whatever way you feel best. Try different things out in your mind. Try to foresee his reaction and try to figure out the best way to say it with the best non negative reaction. ONCE you've brought it up, and all permissions have been given..
it doesnt hurt to restate that you KNOW what your position is and you are okay with it. Something like "i know i am a slave and i am as you choose and that all is up to you and i'm very happy with everything, but there is something that has been bothering me lately and i am not sure how to go about dealing with it" Go on to say "the other night, i felt that my safety was in danger because i felt proper attention while i was being scened with was lacking - (this will be the hard part to say) because you were more focused on your ex then what was going on with me. (this is where i'd put in my disclaimer of knowing i was second.. and thats okay.. but the safety issue really bothered me) and i'd also use the bringing up of second to open up the other issue of "and sometimes even though i am fine with it, i still sometimes have problems with being second" And if he asks about those problems go into it. Make sure to NOT overstep your place, thats really important.. try and be respectful.. try not to be accusatory.. try to basically in the best way, from your place speak of what is upseting you.
hope this helps.
quote:
ORIGINAL: yaqeta
:( I just want advice on how to respectfully talk to him. Why is that hard to understand?
And why shouldn't I defend him? I didn't come here to criticise him. I respect him. If someone said similar things about your owner, wouldn't you come to his/her defense?
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