serious and fun?

serious and fun? (Full Version)

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submaleslaveuk -> serious and fun? (9/19/2006 3:33:08 PM)
Hi All, First attempt at starting off a discussion so please go gentle with me ;o) i will be the first to admit i am not the most experienced here but i sometimes read and hear things in the BDSM scene that some people get far too serious and sometimes forget the main reason for taking up BDSM is to fulfil fantasy but shouldnt it also be a huge amount of fun too?? I agree that due to safety aspects that a degree of seriousness is needed but can that get too far? And you go too deep and serious and lose the "fun factor"?? For me having fun is one of the main points, i would hate to feel i couldnt laugh with my Mistress in a scene or in real life which seems to happen in some of the things i have read regarding people who live the 24/7 life. Anybody else have any opinions on the subject?? Take care all submaleslaveuk darren xoxox

OhReallyNow -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 3:41:30 PM)
quote: i will be the first to admit i am not the most experienced here but i sometimes read and hear things in the BDSM scene that some people get far too serious and sometimes forget the main reason for taking up BDSM is to fulfil fantasy but shouldnt it also be a huge amount of fun too?? *this slave did not 'take up' BDSM to fulfill a fantasy. she simply chose to live the only way that fulfilled her; this was not a fantasy, but a reality.* *as to fun, this slave has fun every day of her life in service to Master.* quote: For me having fun is one of the main points, i would hate to feel i couldnt laugh with my Mistress in a scene or in real life which seems to happen in some of the things i have read regarding people who live the 24/7 life. *this slave could only say that you obviously have not met many in RL who live 24/7. she knows many, and they are all fun, loving, happy, and quite able to laugh on a daily basis.*

Estring -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 3:49:30 PM)
You are exactly right that many people in bdsm take themselves far too seriously. A look at some of the screen names will prove that. I take my responsibility to my slave seriously, as she takes her service to me just as seriously. We just don't take ourselves too seriously.

amuzingtoyou -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 3:50:19 PM)
submale. People get into BDSM for all sorts of different reasons. For some people its purely sexual, for other people it is more of a spiritual connection. For others its an inner calling. For what ever reason, i do think people in this can take themselves way too seriously. It is important to laugh once in a while and remember we are all human. My Master and i were playing at a local club recently, and i said something right in the middle of a very intense knife scene, that made us both burst out laughing. So although the wonderful intense moment was gone, it felt good to laugh and release in that way. Submale my advice to you would be to take your time and try to find someone who has a similar sense of humour. I know plenty of wonderfuly wicked Dommes who can make me spit water out of my nose with their sense of humour. Yes it is possible to have both. Good luck.

crouchingtigress -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:09:06 PM)
yeah some folks take themselves very seriously in this realm, i tend to see it more so with newbies....after about 5 years or so, folks chill out... hopefully sooner then later, because while they are mildly amusing in some cases, mostly the holier-then-thou attitude makes me want to slap them. YMMV [:)]

Littlepita -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:23:42 PM)
We have lots of fun!!!

CreoleCook -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:36:10 PM)
well, friend, the best I can tell you is this... there is a lot of "fun" involved when dealing with feitsh play, and D/s dynamics. With that being said, there are times in which the "fun" is replaced by a serious demeanor, due to the scenario, or the learning curve involved. An example would be "a tea party." If a Domme decides to hold a tea party with some of her friends, and has you as a server, she will expect you to be "on your best behaviour." If you want to cut up, and kid around with her friends, you had best have her permission before hand, else she will likely take it out of your hide, when her friends have left. Another example is in the learning curve. (example) While I want to have fun with my submissive, and tie her up, shibari style, I must first learn the pressure points, and nerve clusters to stay away from, when tying knots. Therefore, I attended a class at the local university discussing anatomy and nerve endings. Once I felt confident enough I would be able to tie her up without causing physical damage, unintentionally, I proceeded to experiment with her, and learned from some local rope bondage dominants. Now while both of these were for the "fun to be had," I paid close attention, and was very serious in learning. Long story short, friend... there is a lot of fun to be had! Just don't judge others for being "too serious" in their efforts... CC

Misstoyou -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:38:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submaleslaveuk For me having fun is one of the main points, i would hate to feel i couldnt laugh with my Mistress in a scene or in real life... If it's not fun for me, I don't do it. That includes punishment. Both my submissive/puppy and my submissive feel free to laugh both with me, and on the odd occasion at me. (I'm only human. lol) Of course they know the latter behavior means they have to be punished...more fun for me! [;)]

PlayfulOne -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:47:02 PM)
We're not supposed to have fun? Damn, we must have missed that memo. Does this mean we have to give the secret decoder ring back? K

Caitriona -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:50:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OhReallyNow *this slave did not 'take up' BDSM to fulfill a fantasy. she simply chose to live the only way that fulfilled her; this was not a fantasy, but a reality.* I could not have said it better myself.

subinside -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 4:54:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreoleCook Now while both of these were for the "fun to be had," I paid close attention, and was very serious in learning. Long story short, friend... there is a lot of fun to be had! Just don't judge others for being "too serious" in their efforts... i think CC is far too serious. ~removes tongue from cheek~

WyrdRich -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 5:43:01 PM)
Not everyone has the same definition of fun. For some people (not me thank God!), becoming entrenched in the lifestyle and community brings a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Say rather that we come to BDSM because it makes us happier people and you'll be much closer to the mark.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 7:30:42 PM)
Wonder Twin Powers, activate! Damn...where's my twin? He's ALWAYS fuckin' late. I think I'll just go flirt with Wonder Woman. stomps off Master Fire

SweetEscravo -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 7:58:54 PM)
I never take myself seriously, and thank god, neither do the people I'm in a relationship with. Everyone needs to take a step back and laugh at themselves sometimes.

Lorelei115 -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 8:15:53 PM)
When I first started in the scene, I was always afraid that if I showed my easy going, humorous side, people wouldn't see me as a very good Dominant. I've since learned that that is a crock of bull and laughter is sometimes the fastest way to deepen a bond. Its true, people tell me I am not a "true" Dom because of this. You know what? I laugh at them.

Daddysredhead -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 8:44:13 PM)
Daddy and I have a lot of fun, we laugh, smile, etc. I think there are a lot of "serious" folks in the lifestyle who appear a bit "stuffy"... however, I have also seen many couples who are as silly as we can be when we play at the dungeon. I think it's a mix, but most people seem to be pretty happy, fun-loving folks.

submaleslaveuk -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 11:21:45 PM)
Just to clarify a few points here! i promise i am not not pre judging people here and being a relative newbie just wondered if what i had seen and read can be seen by other people! i am in complete agreement that there are times when you have to be serious for safety reasons ie the rope workshop etc and during certain scenes or times when you are angry of course it is ok to be serious! i am not expecting us all to mess about all the time! it is more the extremes i am talking about. i hope this clarifies what i was trying to say and thanks for everyone who responded! i am finding this topic very interesting! take care submaleslaveuk darren

angelina1 -> RE: serious and fun? (9/19/2006 11:58:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Estring You are exactly right that many people in bdsm take themselves far too seriously. A look at some of the screen names will prove that. I take my responsibility to my slave seriously, as she takes her service to me just as seriously. We just don't take ourselves too seriously. I couldn't have put it better myself. I live with my Master 24/7 and there is always plenty of laughter and fun in our house, but that does not mean that he is not always my Master even when we are having fun.

mons -> RE: serious and fun? (9/20/2006 12:01:01 AM)
*darren greetings* *this is not a fansty this is our at least mine my lfiestlye so not a fanstly for me* *mons*

MzPam -> RE: serious and fun? (9/20/2006 12:25:49 AM)
I live with My 24/7 slave and W/we have alot of fun together, there are times when he tries to make Me laugh to easy the stress of everyday life, he knows when to be serious and when he can laugh. Without the fun and laughter W/we would be very stale I know for U/us that isn't an option [sm=ugh.gif]

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