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fresh from the beginning - 9/20/2006 4:12:20 PM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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I'm completely new at all of this. Is there a way to be trained as a sub without being owned by someone? How do I go about such training?

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/20/2006 4:40:32 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
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Ownership is usually thought of in terms of a Master or Mistress and a slave. So, as a budding submissive, you shouldn't have to worry about that yet.

You can investigate the 'scene' and people in your local area. Listen and learn, perhaps watch others in what they do. Ask lots of questions.

For hands-on experience, you will need to find someone to play with you, and dominate you. Understand what you are interested in (and not), and negotiate.

You have a profile here, although scanty, perhaps you will meet someone through here. Be open and honest. Go slowly, or at a pace that is comfortable for you.

I'm not certain how you ended up knowing this was right for you (and I'm not necessarily asking), but perhaps reading on the subject would help. Tons of books available.

Hope this helps,
Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/20/2006 5:12:24 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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That was excellent advice from Jeff, blue... I'd heed it. I was fortunate enough to 'stumble' across a few very experienced people when I discovered 'WIITWD' (what it is that we do)...people who introduced me to many things; safely, sanely, slowly. They remain good friends and I remain healthy and happy; no (bad) scars yet! LOL (I have a couple tiny single-tail scars on my back...) grinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Have FUN!!! Get involved with local munches (where people of like minds get together to chat over coffee or dinner) and perhaps clubs where demos are offered, etc.

Good Luck, kiddo
beverly

(in reply to mstrjx)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/20/2006 5:57:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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As a fairly young novice sub, your issue will be more one of fighting off all of the "altruistic" offers from doms to train and mentor you and protect you until you decide to be owned.

Best piece of advice- make no commitments to anything for at least 6 months and learn from everyone everywhere.

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(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/20/2006 11:04:38 PM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hypnoticblue

I'm completely new at all of this. Is there a way to be trained as a sub without being owned by someone? How do I go about such training?

one would try and meet people locally - in a group situation, such as munches. Do not just turn to Dominants - other submissives can help you out. Try and find some online support/discussion groups for submissives that are new to the lifestyle. Take your time and do not rush into anything - do not rush into becoming collared; do not rush into committing to a Mentor; do not rush into signing any contracts. Take your time - you will be glad that you do. You will run into so many that want to use you - as well as many that truly wish to help you on your journey.

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 1:16:08 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hypnoticblue

I'm completely new at all of this. Is there a way to be trained as a sub without being owned by someone? How do I go about such training?

In my small world:

Sub = safe word (i.e time to stop)
Owner = slave = owned = no safe word. (which many ppl will not agree with here - more power to them - chose your own defintion then find the X to match. It may require a few iterations.

Training is as training does and one Dom/Domme/Owner/Master/whatever WILL be different from the next (regardless of whether you pay them or they have 18 generations of 'this is how it's done'). Hit the ground running (as in learn, hopefully not scared) as you go. If you are lucky you won't have to hit the ground once.

D (owner of j).

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Possibly.

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 6:52:12 AM

hypnoticblue

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Thank you so much. That really makes me feel better then. Especially thank you to Lucky for the resources. I feel completely stupid having to ask so many things but I'm glad to finally have an outlet.

Jeff, and if you were curious, it was because I had a deep seeded desire to persue it for a long time. Normally, IRL, I'm a control freak so I always assumed (silly me) that it meant that I would have to be a dom. And, I was never quite comfortable with being a dom at all. Then I had an expirience with a gf and a dom that COMPLETELY changed my mind. ;)

(in reply to Wolfie648)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 7:23:05 AM

TahoeSadist

Posts: 176
Joined: 8/3/2004
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Excellent advice thus far. I'd also toss in this thought: there is no set type of "submissive training". Thus I personally would say that anyone who hints that you need to be "trained" should be a big red flag that something's rotten in Denmark.

To work an example, taking it out of the bdsm world and into the real world: if you were already trained as a damn good pizza maker but decided it was dull and you wanted to do something else. When you went on to another field, all that "training" is meaningless because it applied to a different job, situation, etc. Your new employer would have to set about training you for the new job.

At this stage I'd put the concept out of mind and follow some of the advice given already.

Eric

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As long as one of us enjoys it, it's not a total waste

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 7:34:09 AM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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Again, thank you. I wish I had asked these questions first....

(in reply to TahoeSadist)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 1:15:08 PM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hypnoticblue

Thank you so much. That really makes me feel better then. Especially thank you to Lucky for the resources. I feel completely stupid having to ask so many things but I'm glad to finally have an outlet.

Jeff, and if you were curious, it was because I had a deep seeded desire to persue it for a long time. Normally, IRL, I'm a control freak so I always assumed (silly me) that it meant that I would have to be a dom. And, I was never quite comfortable with being a dom at all. Then I had an expirience with a gf and a dom that COMPLETELY changed my mind. ;)

Some off handed advice to add would be to NEVER feel stupid for asking questions, it is the only way you will learn. We all start somewhere, and the only stupid questions are the ones that never get asked.

(in reply to hypnoticblue)

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RE: fresh from the beginning - 9/21/2006 3:02:57 PM

hypnoticblue

Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
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noted :)

(in reply to raiken)

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