wondering about the protocol of being collared

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floridasub -> wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/13/2005 2:28:46 PM)
Hello, i want to eventually be collared. A while ago i was approached by a Goddess that wanted to take the first step towards this. One of the steps that She required was that i turn over everything i owned to Her once i took Her collar. My question is not if this is a right thing to do or anything like that. The question i have is is there a protocol to follow once a contract for servitude has been entered so that if things did not work out with myself and Her i would not be on the street with nothing to my name. Of course i would hope that nothing would ever happen but things do happen unfortunately. Also is it imperative that when being collared 24/7 to relinquish all posessions. i do not have much, but i have been given a lot of stuff that is very valuable from my parents and i know that they would be very dissappointed if i lost some or all of these items. Also i have to admit the thought of being penniless on the street does scare me a lot too. One other thing i want to add because i do not want to get slammed by everyone... i did try to find links to this subject in the search mode so if there are links or threads to this subject i would be very grateful to whomever points them out for me. Thank You

GoddessJules -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/13/2005 2:37:34 PM)
Floridasub, First and foremost. . . .NO!!! You won't get slammed because I don't think this is one of those redundant subjects. (By the way, if you do want to get slammed, start a thread about financial domination, or the difference between and slave and a sub, or people not responding to your emails.) Now that we got that out of the way, I think it is a big "myth" that there is one set way to do things. If you are gorean, old guard, old world, or some other specified sect. . .I'm sure there will be certain protocols to follow for their collaring ceremonies. Otherwise, you can do what you two feel is right. As for what happens after the collaring? Again, that would be a deal between you two. There isn't a general manual for this kind of stuff. (Unless certain "sects" have taken it upon themselves to draw one up.) quote: Also is it imperative that when being collared 24/7 to relinquish all posessions. i do not have much, but i have been given a lot of stuff that is very valuable from my parents and i know that they would be very dissappointed if i lost some or all of these items. Also i have to admit the thought of being penniless on the street does scare me a lot too. The best I can say about this one is. . .if your gut tells you something is wrong, then there probably is. That is why we have intuition. . .as a self preservation mechanism. I think your concerns are valid. Perhaps you should ask specific questions about what will happen to you in any eventuality. If her intentions are good, I'm sure she won't mind spelling it all out for you in writing and putting those terms into your contract. J

SwitchNCgal -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/13/2005 3:40:48 PM)
she's right but just so you know most likly any contract taht you write up will be invalid in court of law check out the laws for your state or country to make sure you don't put anything in that invalidates anything you agree to in writing if you want a real legeally binbding contract. just to let you know any contrat that involves sex is void automaticlly I've read somewhere unless it is a marriage contract (non-consumation of the marriage is grounds for annualment in most areas i beleive) but something that might save a contract is a clause taht says if any part of this contart is found to be illegeal, invaliad, orunconsitutional then that part shall be void but any other part shall remain in affect. just something to keep in mind as you make a very big step you might even have those specail items liseted as things to be returned to you in the event things don't work out as you both would have hoped.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/13/2005 5:34:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: floridasub Hello, i want to eventually be collared. A while ago i was approached by a Goddess that wanted to take the first step towards this. One of the steps that She required was that i turn over everything i owned to Her once i took Her collar. My question is not if this is a right thing to do or anything like that. The question i have is is there a protocol to follow once a contract for servitude has been entered so that if things did not work out with myself and Her i would not be on the street with nothing to my name. Of course i would hope that nothing would ever happen but things do happen unfortunately. Also is it imperative that when being collared 24/7 to relinquish all posessions. i do not have much, but i have been given a lot of stuff that is very valuable from my parents and i know that they would be very dissappointed if i lost some or all of these items. Also i have to admit the thought of being penniless on the street does scare me a lot too. One other thing i want to add because i do not want to get slammed by everyone... i did try to find links to this subject in the search mode so if there are links or threads to this subject i would be very grateful to whomever points them out for me. Thank You You know, so many submissives yearn to be owned, that sometimes I think not enough time is put into the actual 'getting to know you' phase. I would encourage you to perhaps slow down in this collaring process, so that you could get a better sense of if this is a situation that it right for you. I think I read a differant thread that you started a week or so ago stating you were a student and didn't have a lot of resources. If this is true about you, again, I would encourage you to go slowly, and be fully sure that this is the woman who you trust to protect you mind, body, spirit and as is the case, financially. That's not a level of trust I think someone should feel in the first month or so of a relationship. Being someone's collared submissive is serious business, and if you are, at this point, wondering how to get out of it before the contract is even signed, that may be a good indication for you to, as Jules stated, trust your gut. I wish you the best of luck, Lily

panthergoddess -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/15/2005 6:16:32 PM)
Floridasub. I for one applaud you for having the forethought on this and for seeking advice. As was already stated collaring cermonies are different in differnent sects...and collaring is highly individualized. When wishing to enter into a long term 24/7 Total Power Exchange I recommend several discussions. 1. Responsibilities of the Top 2. Responsibilities of the bottom These include but are never limited to: Play Time Expectations Mundane Private Mundane Public Financial (Immediate) Financial (Long Term i.e. IRA's and other retirement) Insurance (Medical, Dental, Life, Auto) Wills (Living and Property Dispersment of BOTH parties) What will happen if/when the relationship wanes or dies I'm sure in most relationships that if the property is submitted..the Top either uses it daily (incorporates it into the joint life) or puts it in storage. But The Top should respect these properties just as they do their primary property the bottom. But again....it should be discussed. So often there are demands, requests, requirements made by Tops where the bottoms feel that if they give objection hesitation or need further discussion on that the Top will not want them any longer. In those cases I say thank goodness it's discovered soon in the relationship. Giving your gift of submission does not mean giving up yourself and your inherent right to discuss your concerns directly with them. As with ALL relationships Vanilla or Lifestyle....communication is the key to making it successful.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/15/2005 7:54:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: floridasub Also is it imperative that when being collared 24/7 to relinquish all posessions. i do not have much, but i have been given a lot of stuff that is very valuable from my parents and i know that they would be very dissappointed if i lost some or all of these items. Also i have to admit the thought of being penniless on the street does scare me a lot too. I work with a contract, and I do expect things to be turned over. However, everything is a case by case basis. I make arrangemnts for money to be put aside for the slave, because as a live-in with a contract of this nature, you would fall more into the slave, rather than the submissive category. And a slave should not, realistically, own anything. If you had valuable things from your family, this is what I would personally do. I would look at what you have, and then work out an arrangement whereby you may or may not be able to keep some of it with you, and other things would be stored. Should the contract be dissolved along the way, you would still have your things, and money with which to walk away. Perhaps, I am unusual, but I have My own valuable things, and I prefer to have them in My household, as opposed to your things. Personally, I have no desire to take away special family treasures. But most who wish to enter into this lifestyle, should either liquidate or store these types of things, if they have them at all. Most do not. Now! If you're talking about your Mercedes, sorry, but it either goes, or I will be driving it! Nest egg provisions in a contract, a must...and you will have a job if you are with Me, so you still have that if things don't work out for some reason. Oh, as a note, it can work both ways. Mutual trust is very important, and I have been stolen from Myself. It is a big step to take, so take your time.

servantnj -> RE: wondering about the protocol of being collared (1/17/2005 10:57:59 AM)
floridasub, when you look at the dynamics it is not much different then vanilla marriage. You meet a person, you date for a while, you get engaged, you get married. When you do everything that you own become hers (or both) and you plan on living happily ever after. Sometime, well most of the time, that doesnt happen, and you end up in bitter divorce, then you need to fight over your earthly possesions. Same here, you plan to be collared forever but sometime it doesnt work, and then you will need to fight for. hmmm, will "collaring" ever be concidered as civil union in any state of the union? dont we all know the answer by now...

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