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RE: When politics clash - 1/15/2005 11:12:18 PM   
SherriA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CTclay

You similtaneously insist that you're not intolerant, but you also say that political differences are moral differences ("it comes down to basically the same thing *for me*"). That sounds like you're saying people who disagree with your politics are immoral. I don't know any other way to read that. Do you really believe that?


That's not what I"m saying at all. What you're describing as "moral differences" are what I consider to be philosophical differences. People with different values than mine aren't immoral by default, they simply have different values than I do. People with a different life philosophy aren't evil or immoral necessaril; they simply come at things from a different place than I come from. I don't believe I've ever said that my way was better or right, only that it's better and right *for me*. That makes no judgement about anyone else's values, morals or philosophical beliefs.

quote:


Do you really believe that people who think Problem A is more important than Problem B are always necessarily immoral because you think Problem B is more important? That's what most political differences are about, and different conclusions can be reached for all sorts of different reasons, many having nothing to do with morality.


Even people with the same exact moral outlook can be conservative, liberal, socialist, libertarian -- because they draw different conclusions about what works, what society is like, what people can be expected to do or not do, not because some of them are deficient in morals.


No, I don't believe that at all. Immoral was your word, not mine, and doesn't at all describe how I see things.

quote:


If I think rich people should be forced to give up all of their money to the poor when they die, who are you to call me immoral? If I think that such a policy wouldn't really work in the real world, who are you to call me immoral? Can't I be foolish, stupid, misinformed, not-have-my-head-screwed-on-straight but still moral? Can I be foolish, stupid, etc. in politics but not in life in general? I know plenty of people like that, and so do you.


I didn't call anyone immoral. That was you putting words in my mouth - words that don't at all describe how I see things. You're totally off base.

quote:


Immorality is one of those things that we shouldn't tolerate, so it sounds like you're justifying intolerance. I couldn't tolerate a Nazi or a terrorist because they have political beliefs that are immoral. I hope you're not saying that people who disagee with your politics are something like Nazis -- immoral because of their politics.


I've not said that ANYONE is immoral. You're the one that keeps saying that. I've said repeatedly that people with different politics than mine are coming from a different philosophical perspective and have different core values. That doesn't make them immoral; it makes them different.

quote:


You say you're tolerant of family and people in your work place who have different politics, but you could never be intimate with someone with different politics. Why? Where does the discomfort enter into it? Are you uncomfortable with these other people? What would make you uncomfortable with a lover or with someone in some kind of BDSM relationship who had different politics?


I haven't said that I'm uncomfortable with people who have different politics. Again, you're misrepresenting what I've said. I said (quite clearly, I thought), that I choose to limit my intimate relationships to those who come at things from the same philosophical perspective as I do. I also said that I have friends, play partners, etc who have very different politics than mine. I have no issue at all playing with a conservative, or fucking a conservative, or having dinner with a conservative. How does that make me intolerant? I choose to limit the relationships in my innermost circle to those who share my outlook, because in my experience those are the people I am most compatible with in that regard.

quote:


On a day-to-day level, you ARE intimate in many ways with people you work with, just as you are with family and friends in other ways -- especially the ways that are relevant to politics. You don't have sex with them or pillow talk, and you probably don't open up to them (in SOME ways) as much as you would with a lover. I don't get how differences in politics would screw that up.


Again, you're wrong. I do NOT have intimate relationships with co-workers and my family lives in a different country and I see them once every few years (last time was about 3.5 yrs ago). These people aren't privy to my innermost thoughts/feelings/wants/needs, nor do I feel they should be. These people aren't close to me in the way that a life partner should be, so the fact that they have significantly different core values and life philosophies isn't an issue. I've been quite clear about the fact that politics don't interfere in those relationships, so I don't know what it is that you "don't get".

quote:


Essentially, you say that politics are "core values," and I say they're only core values when they involve significant differences in morality. If you call differences in politics differences in morality, then I think you're being intolerant. I'd say the definition of intolerance is being unable to be flexible about those things that you should be flexible about.


I'm talking about political philosophy, not what party someone belongs to, and mine is certainly a reflection of my core values. You can call that morality if you want. To me, it indicates where I come at things from, and it's important to me that a "life partner" or someone I have a significant intimate relationship share that perspective. That's not intolerance; that's making a choice based on my experiences.

I don't think we agree on the definition of intolerance, and that's where things are short circuiting. I just checked dictionary.com for a variety of definitions, and it's pretty much in line with how I use the word. According to that, I'm not intolerant of people who don't share my politics, which is what I've maintained all along. I tolerate them just fine, as friends, co-workers, family members, fuck buddies, acquaintances, etc. I simply choose to limit their place in my life to ones where those significant philosophical differences won't have a detrimental impact on the relationship.

None of the definitions I saw said anything about being inflexible where you should be flexible, and frankly, who decides just where I should be flexible and where I shouldn't? I don't think that's up to anyone outside my skin to decide. It's my responsibility and my perogative to set those boundaries for myself.

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(in reply to CTclay)
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RE: When politics clash - 1/16/2005 10:44:16 AM   
MHOO314


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Joined: 9/26/2004
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WOW! I had no idea I would get so many marvelous views! I am so thrilled and will read this thread several times. As you were all writing your marvelous responses, I broke My number one rule in the Life-communication. When I responded to the potential sub, it evoked a 3 hour conversation--somethings we agree to disagree, others we are just coming from different directions. Time very well spent, and the depth of submission remains strong and solid-and he still impresses Me---but I do find that if the politics are way off, it wont happen, in an LTR or any kind of long relationship--- there are vanilla issues that can interfere, erode, deteriorate---especially in an LDR--but all these views have helped Me so much, I do thank you all.

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(in reply to CTclay)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: When politics clash - 1/16/2005 10:56:34 AM   
ProtagonistLily


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quote:

but I do find that if the politics are way off, it wont happen, in an LTR or any kind of long relationship---


And then there's James Carville and Mary Matalin.....

Go figure.

Lily

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(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: When politics clash - 1/16/2005 12:31:43 PM   
CTclay


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Joined: 11/6/2004
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When I wrote that first thread I was irritated about other things and the subject is a pet peeve of mine. Later on I indulged a bit too much in arguing (a weakness of mine). I hope no one felt I was being overbearing. I did want to shake people up a bit, but now I feel I went overboard. Sorry, all.

After all this discussion, I still don't understand how the quality of a relationship is significantly hurt by the partners having diffferent political beliefs, except in special circumstances, such as Ms. Eden's. It seems to me that if anyone met a person who seemed like a great potential partner otherwise, differences in politics would be pretty easy to get around.

I've never heard of a case where different politics destroyed a relationship (I suppose it must exist). There are plenty of cases where the relationship remained strong (Mary Matalin and James Carville, for example -- just before I submitted this, I checked on the message board again and found Lily's comment on that!).

When I decide I like a woman and want to be with her, I find that the emotional/irrational things I like (or dislike, or suddenly find unimportant) are often a total surprise to me. I've often thanked my lucky stars that something about her attracted me despite her having qualities I don't like, or even thought I couldn't put up with. I think this is pretty common.

For anyone to reject someone because that person has different politics is, I think, a little tragedy in the lives of two people.

That's my position in a nutshell. Focusing on the idea of tolerance makes it too difficult to discuss the subject. I'm not sure why -- maybe because the word's too big for the subject or isn't quite the right idea.

I guess its confusing because it tends to make you think about the obligations you have to other people, when in fact the obligations you have in deciding who to be with is mostly an obligation to do the right thing for yourself.

But that doesn't mean there aren't better ways of making decisions, and that's what I've been trying to discuss. (In other words: your mileage may vary, but there are ways of increasing your mileage that we can discuss.)

Anyway, your mileage is nothing for me to get riled up about or frankly argue too much about, so to the extent that I was, I'm sorry. And thanks to everyone who responded to me so patiently.

(in reply to SherriA)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: When politics clash - 1/16/2005 12:46:11 PM   
pantera


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To me, politics are VERY important- it is a real turn off for me when a guy is a left-winger DISCLAIMER: I do NOT want to offend anyone- no, I am not a republican, I am a libertarian, but I'm very much to the right when it comes to ecenomic issues, as I stated in another thread-

I was born and raised in a communist country so if I sense traces of socialist ideas in somebody's personality, that's pretty much it for me (nobody should defend what others suffer)- I don't care how good looking he is, I would lose interest. I deeply distrust politicians on the left, they blah-blah pretty much about the same retoric that I grew up hearing from Castro, only in a little different contest- no, I'm not saying all democrats are pinkos- but if you want to socialize medicine, then you ARE a socialist.

Again, this applies ONLY to economic issues... I think drugs should be legal, I do not believe in god, government has NO place regulating morality ...but I still voted for W....some things are just more important than others...

(in reply to CTclay)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: When politics clash - 1/17/2005 10:36:19 AM   
servantnj


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something just came to my mind,

how can politics for two people who are in this lifestyle clash, especially now in US A.D.2005. Do they know that we are the only country in the universe that teaches creation as science, sorry dr.Darwin. And we live at the time when the rest of the free world, and even "no so free" according to standards imposed by our network media, are accepting same sex marriages as reality of the time we live in. On the other hand we want to make it not only illegal but uncostitutional to have such marriages.

I am sorry, where is the clash? that is politics of the country we live in. Personally i find more important the fact that someone in D.C. is so concerned what our citizens are doing in bedroom, and somehow i dont really care about elections in the province we cannot pronaunce nor find on the map of the world.

Now since it is almost sure we will make gay/lesbian marriages uncosntitutional, why dont we go after those perverts in leather. I have feeling that my cute little submissive bum will burn on some public place way before any "Dom/sub slavery contract" will be accepted as civil union. but then who cares, mission is accomplished after all.

< Message edited by servantnj -- 1/17/2005 10:46:15 PM >


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Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?
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(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: When politics clash - 1/17/2005 10:45:46 AM   
sterlingsweet


Posts: 180
Joined: 8/10/2004
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I am a person who is politically awake and
take politics very seriously.
I do not think I could sustain a realtionship
very long with someone who had a political
stance very different from myself.
I know it can work for some, but I find that
this would be much more difficult for me even
more so than having different religious beliefs.


< Message edited by sterlingsweet -- 1/17/2005 10:47:12 AM >


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Who Let the Dommes Out?? (I'd like to Thank them).
~Wink

Peace Out...Sterlingsweet

I finally got my cuffs,
I hope to use them soon ~wink

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: When politics clash - 1/17/2005 12:44:01 PM   
pantera


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Joined: 1/7/2005
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I do want government out of my bedroom (republicans) and out of my pocket (democrats)

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: When politics clash - 1/17/2005 6:36:02 PM   
CTclay


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Joined: 11/6/2004
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quote:

I do want government out of my bedroom (republicans) and out of my pocket (democrats)


I want government IN my bedroom (dominas) but out of my pocket (financial dominas).

(in reply to pantera)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: When politics clash - 1/18/2005 11:32:01 AM   
pantera


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CTclay, you crack me up!!!

(in reply to CTclay)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: When politics clash - 1/18/2005 12:01:11 PM   
servantnj


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/3/2004
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ok, and who exactly is Domina in our gov't. now seeing some female newscasters interviewing politicians who are on their knees answering, hmmm, i would have CNN fetish in no time. that would be fun "answer me you scum" he he he, ultimate democracy.

_____________________________

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?
-The Smiths

(in reply to CTclay)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: When politics clash - 1/18/2005 12:35:44 PM   
pantera


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Joined: 1/7/2005
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I would have a Fox News Channel fetish ;)

I can just see Ann Coulter caning Sean Hannity's ass ha! ha! lol!!!!!!!!! Now, THAT would be funny



(in reply to servantnj)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: When politics clash - 1/18/2005 1:21:42 PM   
ruffnecksbabygir


Posts: 412
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MizSuz wrote:
I've got a sneaky suspicion that you might lean a bit to the right. <smile> And that's ok with me, too - until you burn a cross in someone's yard (intimidation) or try to keep a person from being able to make their own decisions about their own body (control). If you're not one of those kinds of conservatives then I have no judgement, but if you are one of those kinds then I have judgement and it's judgement I'm ok with.

hmmm, i have seen more than my share of types who automatically assume one is a cross burning bible thumping preaching nutt simply because they have conservative beliefs..... it's ok to have your own views in politics as long as they are the same as yours?

personally, i could never be in a relationship with someone who has a totally different philosophy as i do...if they are liberal it wouldn't just be about him voting for kerry or bush, it would be about what his over all values and beliefs are as a whole, and i think fundamentally we'd be two very different people who probably want and need very different things out of life... my Master and i share the same views when it comes to politics and it reflects in other aspects of our personailty.... my best friend, however, is a liberal, and i respect her views, even if we argue every now and then about our stance on issues, but we are able to deal with it because we are just friends, i don't share my life with her the way i do with my Master... so, when it comes to relationships i'd tend to agree with those who believe that politics can and does have an effect.




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:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

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(in reply to DiamondDiva)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: When politics clash - 1/21/2005 6:24:38 AM   
pantera


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Joined: 1/7/2005
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I also believe it has an effect- if politics play a big role in your life (in mine it does)

...so if he doesn't agree with my views (generally), it will not work (and of course he's wrong)

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)
Profile   Post #: 54
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