RE: Mentor

RE: Mentor (Full Version)

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WetHotGoddess -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 6:07:29 AM)
I have read this thread with interest because it seems that my thoughts on mentoring is far different from most. to me, a mentor is a PEER- that is, one who identifies ith me on my level. I would not seek to be mentored by a submissive and I would not think it wise for a submissive to be mentored by a Dominant. *If I need advice, or coaching, I will get it from another dominant. I think if a dom is mentoring a sub they are likely just playing/topping/fucking around without calling it what it is.*

ayasha -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 6:22:13 AM)
[/quote] Yeah, Gawd! How my self confidence and esteem suffers from suggesting that someone seek multiple sources of information rather than hamstring themselves with a single person. What an absolutely stupid thought I had there! [/quote] LOL - having a Mentor does not mean that this is the ONLY source of learning that a person has - those are your words, not mine.

mynded -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 7:06:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spankmepink11 In my experience and opinion, many (not all) who proclaim to be "Mentors" have their own underlying agenda.When the Mentor is Dominant, and mentoree is submissive. This is not to say that mentoring does not have it's place. If i felt the need to be mentored, i might turn to a fellow submissive who has been in successful, long term, relationships, or one that i simply respect. If i am partnered with an inexperienced Dominant, i would hope that he would seek advice, or mentoring from One He respected who had experience etc. Personally, i think the best mentoring takes place in forums such as these. Agreed!!

Dnomyar -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 7:19:54 AM)
spankmepink11. If you were partnered with an inexperienced Dominate how would you know it. These forums are not ment to Mentor anyone. Did it ever occur to you that the Mentors aganda may be to just inform the person whom he is mentoring.

deltadawn -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 7:29:13 AM)
I see nothing wrong with having a Mentor/s. We all have had someone to look up to in our lives, ask questions of, seek advice from. I do not consider myself a mentor but I have spent a lot of time talking to younger submissives and have given them advice, in actuality I am doing so right now with a young woman I met through this site. My Master also has spent a great deal of time with Newer Dominants who has asked for his help. He has also aided a few submissives who have asked for his guidance. Not sure that that makes us mentors, but it does make us friends, and I cannot fathom why being a friend to someone is a bad thing. dawn

WetHotGoddess -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 7:37:35 AM)
Yes a mentor should be someone who is trusted and who you can talk to.. A mentor should not say, "come bend over my knee little one and I will teach you how it is done , nor to stand beside another dominant and critique technique. *Mentors are peers, not playmates. Friends.. someone who is trusted and admired.* *IMHO anyway.*

Aubre -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 7:46:36 AM)
The Mentors were a pretty twisted punk/metal band from the late 70s till 1987 when "El Duce" got hit by a train. Oh, y'all are talking about a different type of mentor...

UnvailedPurpose -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 8:08:07 AM)
Delta: Being a friend is not a bad thing, neither is sharing your experiences. Especally, when recognizing many of the less expereinced have no intention of rejecting and/or dismissing the ethics integreties codes of honor or submissive internal forces driving us simply to be accepted and then assimilated into an ambiguously individualized subculture. In fact, most of the less experienced will diligently seek out advice from a wide variety of diverse thinkers and then intellectualize long before internalizing. \

agirl -> RE: Mentor (9/22/2006 3:19:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petcerina i believe that Mentors are very good for beginners, and even good for those who still would like having someone to ask questions to. However, i would caution that you choose the Mentor carefully, as not only do you need to watch for them trying to collar you, but also realize that you will most likely take on the views that that person has. i know that this was true for me. This is a little like being befriended ....which is a nice thing and something that lots of people offer in life to others that are finding their feet in anything. If I did choose to have a mentor for any reason.......it'd be someone that I had known , watched, spent time with, respected and trusted over a long period of time .......which would rule out choosing one as a new person.I simply wouldn't have enough experience to make a good judgement. agirl

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 2:21:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowMster quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain If I "mentor" you, I'm trying to Dom you without you realizing it. (I'm going to trademark this line.) Then simply put, your a bad mentor. If your more concerned with your conquest, then the sharing of your skills with another, then your not mentoring, your instead taking one under the false pretense and seeking your own gratification from that person's service instead of the reward of having helped another. I kind of like that. You are getting the idea, ShadowMster.

Nimkii -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 2:29:17 PM)
I enjoy Mentoring and have been mentored in the past. I see it as a way to share knowladge and grow. A single person can't know and think of everything. Personally I like mentoring people brand new to the lifestyle. They for the most part have a great desire to learn all they can and ask questions. Reminds us that have been in it for a while to remember to ask questions and that this is a life long journey of learning and discovery.

MASTERRocker -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 2:37:55 PM)
Well.. I would disagree.. I have 'mentored' a couple of very beautiful ladies - both university students ; and taught them alot of the ins and outs of the D/. They were both eager to study and learn; and it was wonderful to see them blossom in confidence and self esteem. They both succeeded in reaching (and passing) their goals. Being a Master means being able to look beyond Yourself; to give unselfishly to another = their success is My success

Nimkii -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 2:45:37 PM)
I totally agree. and have taken great pride in seeing how people have grown and gone beyond what i can teach and share with them. A stundent surpassing there student I would think is ever teacher's/mentor's dream

akisha -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 7:40:16 PM)
Personally I don't see the point of a "Mentor" As a grown up i like to make my own decisions, I've been doing it pretty much since the age of 13 and really i don't want anyone else making them for me unless they own me. I have a very good freind that I talk to about alot of things but i wouldn't call him a Mentor just a really good friend that has been in the lifestyle a lot longer then me. He is a sounding board for me as I am for Him. The reason i have an issue with the whole mentor things is i firmly believe people need to stand on their own two feet and be responsible for themselves. Yes people are going to screw up and make mistakes. Welcome to the real world. When i need advice or if there is something i'm unsure of, such as protocol at certain events i go to whomever i feel has the most information in regards to my questions be they another sub or a Dominant. Some of my best sources of information are from a wonderful bottom and a submissive. Their friendship and insights I find invaluable and would not trade them for a supposed Mentor ever.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:02:52 PM)
Back in the beginning, I had a mentor. She threw me headfirst into the world of BDSM, and then after she was sure I wasnt going to drown she taught me what she thought Id need to know. As far as I know, the only ulterior motive she had was tat she would have refered I shared more of her opinions on how subs/slaves should be trained and shared, so tat we would have made a successful Domme/Domme couple and been able to keep a house of subs. I myself have mentored other dominants, as wel as some submissive friends. Being available as a teacher does not necesarily mean that you make their decisions for them. The only one I make decisions for is the one I own. It just means that you give them your opinions on their situatons and if requested you tell them how you would handle things. Its a useful thing to have access to when your new in the lifestyle for some. DV

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:28:25 PM)
Now I'm confused. Some refer to a mentor as someone to go to for advice while others say a mentor is a teacher (which is what I thought the word trainer ment). Is a mentor an advisor or are the words mentor and trainer synonyms?

LTRsubNW -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:34:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar It amazes me on far apart peole on here are on certain subjects. Mentoring is one of them. Some people praise them others have nothng good to say about them. Please give me your opinoin on Mentor's I'm going to assume what you meant; Mentoring is (in my opinion), everything you needed, when you needed it, sometimes before you needed it, sometimes after, but always at exactly the right time.

WhyteRavenne -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:37:08 PM)
Mentor: noun 1. a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. 2. an influential senior sponsor or supporter. –verb (used without object) 3. to act as a mentor: She spent years mentoring to junior employees. –verb (used with object) 4. to act as a mentor to: The brash young executive did not wish to be mentored by anyone.

mnottertail -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:40:03 PM)
WetHot, Cause there is no get together for such as we, my definition is you suck my cock like a dog licking peanut butter blowjob, all else is converation. LOL, Ron

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Mentor (9/25/2006 8:40:25 PM)
It always comes down to the terms. Mentor can be either directly a teacher, or it can be just someone to get advice from. Depending on how both parties view it, sometimes, mentoring can be a mix of both. With my mentor, she gave me advice on everything (vanilla and otherwise) and she also did a fair amount of teaching when there were things i needed to learn. No need to pigeonhole someone into a definition of a name. DV

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