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LancelotFL -> RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? (9/23/2006 3:38:46 PM)
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BDSM, by definition, is a sexual fantasy. Some may see it as a more altruistic pursuit, kind of like the Zen of BDSM, but for others it is oriented around sexuality.
Those who have a hard time believeing so should visit a dungeon one time. Our local dungeon here in Largo, FL fills with the screams and moans of submissives and masochists reaching orgasm during play. The thing that appears most odd to me with the scene is that the subs are having orgasms all over the place, but the Dominants are not allowed to participate in anything that would give them an orgasm. Needless to say, dungeon play doesn't rank high on my list of favorites.
Now, as a D/s Dominant, I can say that, at least in my case, sex isn't a requirement. However, it's truly wonderful if it's consensual. A D/s Dominant doesn't need toys or pain to accomplish the objective. D/s is often referred to as "Mindfuck 101" and, done well, is a delight to watch.
I did a D/s scene in our local dungeon one night for several people. I had my submissive kneel by my chair. I put my arm around her and drew her close. I spoke softly to her and, within minutes, she had several strong orgasms. No flogger, no bondage, just a voice and the ability to create powerful erotic fantasies for her. The people watching were pleasantly surprised because they had never seen D/s done before.
Casual sex and D/s probably would not work. In order to play with her mind and her sexuality effectively, you must know her very well. The rewards are well worth it.
Best regards,
Michael
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