RE: D/s Relationship without Sex?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: D/s Relationship without Sex?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/22/2006 6:37:25 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

No I do not think they require sexual involvement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Silvermoon

Do you feel the D/s relationships (including collared relationships) require sexual involvement?

Sincerely
Silver

(in reply to Silvermoon)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/22/2006 9:29:09 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Can there be D/s wthout sex? Certainly Case in point I am the Leather Daddy to a boi (Masculine Identified Butch Lesbian Submissive), Lane serves me in various ways and in return I provide guidance and help with some aspects of life.
Lane wishes to eventually become a Daddy in her own right, so the guidance I am providing is towards that end.
Actual sexual contact is not in the contract we have. SM play is in the contract. We talked about the fact that the SM might bring about a physical sexual response, and how that might affect the relationship and the mental state of both parties.
It has not become an issue after over a year. D/s relationships are mostly about power and trading it in one form or another for something you wish to gain. If the gain sought by both parties is not a sexual gain then it can certainly work.

Lane's sexual needs are fullfilled elsewhere, I do not wished to conrol that aspect of her life beyond making sure Lane chooses healthy relationships.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/22/2006 11:28:32 PM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

Nodding, it's not always about blow jobs. Thank you for sharing that Archer. I wish people understood that power has more uses than hedonism.

(in reply to Archer)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/23/2006 3:38:46 PM

LancelotFL

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/20/2005
Status: offline

BDSM, by definition, is a sexual fantasy. Some may see it as a more altruistic pursuit, kind of like the Zen of BDSM, but for others it is oriented around sexuality.

Those who have a hard time believeing so should visit a dungeon one time. Our local dungeon here in Largo, FL fills with the screams and moans of submissives and masochists reaching orgasm during play. The thing that appears most odd to me with the scene is that the subs are having orgasms all over the place, but the Dominants are not allowed to participate in anything that would give them an orgasm. Needless to say, dungeon play doesn't rank high on my list of favorites.

Now, as a D/s Dominant, I can say that, at least in my case, sex isn't a requirement. However, it's truly wonderful if it's consensual. A D/s Dominant doesn't need toys or pain to accomplish the objective. D/s is often referred to as "Mindfuck 101" and, done well, is a delight to watch.

I did a D/s scene in our local dungeon one night for several people. I had my submissive kneel by my chair. I put my arm around her and drew her close. I spoke softly to her and, within minutes, she had several strong orgasms. No flogger, no bondage, just a voice and the ability to create powerful erotic fantasies for her. The people watching were pleasantly surprised because they had never seen D/s done before.

Casual sex and D/s probably would not work. In order to play with her mind and her sexuality effectively, you must know her very well. The rewards are well worth it.

Best regards,
Michael

(in reply to Silvermoon)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/24/2006 11:47:35 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

We have plenty of D/s relationships without sex. We play casually with a few close submissive friends of ours, and it's never been an issue. We have each other for our sexual gratification, and if the submissive in question requires an orgasm, they're more than welcome to relieve themselves for our viewing pleasure. It works out well for everyone.

As always, YMMV...

TheShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to LancelotFL)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/24/2006 11:56:14 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

It depends on what you mean by "require," and it depends on what you mean by "sexual." I honestly don't believe there is any aspect of d/s that is not, on SOME level, sexual, but that's because I have a broader sense of what qualifies as "sexual" than most other people.

If all you really mean is whether it's possible to have a d/s relationship without fucking, then my answer would be sure, but why would you want to?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Silvermoon

Do you feel the D/s relationships (including collared relationships) require sexual involvement?

(in reply to Silvermoon)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: D/s Relationship without Sex? - 9/25/2006 2:00:07 AM

Kahri

Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

I suspect that non-sexual relationships are more common when a woman is dominant, though I am sure that there are male dominants who do not have sex with their subs. Pretty much every combination of activities/genders exists out there some place.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 27