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RE: Jealousy - 9/30/2006 8:47:57 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		If you expect to have a master who won't talk to ANY OTHER FEMALE, you're gonna be in for a rude surprise.

Maybe the problem is with you, and not with those evil masters.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

I have no room for tollorance when it comes to Master talking to any other FEMALE.

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Jealousy - 9/30/2006 9:26:02 PM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Is there a chance for a relationship if one of the people is jealous?
 
I have no room for tollorance when it comes to Master talking to any other FEMALE. I don't talk to male Dom' or Female Doms and I expect to get the same respect. Everytime I write something here I get bashed. Please just give an honest opinion without bashing.

rose442


i haven't read all of the other posts but what i have read doesn't sound promising for you...don't lose hope....here' s the thing... From someone who is working hard on this very issue, so i'm only being very emphatic (sp) because its sooo close to my heart.

i'm jealous and i RECOGNIZE it as a serious issue and a FLAW that needs to be worked on or it could ruin what i have with my Daddy/Master....
Is it something that you want to work on? Or are you content being that way? Or do you really feel that it's a justifiable emotion? (search your soul for the true answer) Or is it like something you wish you could rip out of yourself? (they don't call it the green eyed MONSTER for nothing)

If you do feel you need to work on it...(as i am with my Daddy/Master and a therapist lol)

Find out the WHY....Why are you insecure? Is it something between the two of you alone? Is it a new thing?  Is it something much more deep rooted? These are serious questions to ask yourself.

Then ASSESS the REALITY: (This i something my Daddy is teaching me.) Has he ever betrayed your trust before? Or are you making him pay for the sins of your past that've left scars on your soul? Look around you and your relationship and evaluate all the good things and then see if there are any bad things that would make you feel this way.

He is with you...he choses every day to be with you....if he wanted another he could chose another....but he has chosen you....your jealousy won't stop him if he is hell bent on being with another...but again...he choses to be with you and not another.....your jealousy could make him want another...until the point that he doesn't chose you...he is with you because he obviously wants to be. (intentionally redundant to make a point)





_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 1:43:20 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
i am and never have been a jealous woman, but i do not like to share this is a different thing, i had some subs males who want other womenwith us and i will not ever do it it is not me. i find that sharing with someone is a no no some i understand want this and that is ok but for me i am not into sharing nothing no my doll house or anything lol i will share my friendship and kindness but when it come to a male nope not doing it
 
mons

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 2:17:35 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

The lack of trust that constant jealousy a female shows is an ultimate turn off for me.  It means she thinks she has the right to choose my friends and who I talk to-it's an isolation tactic-and emotionally abusive.

If I was with you, and you pulled it on me..You would find your fears realized in about five seconds-and your ass out the door in ten. Why your guy puts up with it, I have no idea.

But that probably won't last forever.


Hello A/all,

While I agree with most of this statement, I take offense to you characterizing that it is something only those with XX chromosomes do.

Jealous people do this.

Human Beings that have periods and can bear children sometimes do this.

Human Beings with 2 heads and enough blood to run one at a time sometimes do this as well.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 2:22:14 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

There is jealousy, and there is JEALOUSY.
I am a little jealous, but no one is able to tell I'm jealous because I only spend time with people I feel respect me, and treat me with consideration for my feelings.  



Hello A/all,

I posted on another thread that what you feel is not relevant.  What is relevant is what you do with those feelings.

If I feel jealous because my submissive is talking to somebody else, I personally recognize that this is my own insecurity.  My submissive knows that any time she feels she cannot continue the relationship with me, I will help her pack her stuff and leave.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 2:23:18 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Is there a chance for a relationship if one of the people is jealous?
 
I have no room for tollorance when it comes to Master talking to any other FEMALE. I don't talk to male Dom' or Female Doms and I expect to get the same respect. Everytime I write something here I get bashed. Please just give an honest opinion without bashing.

rose442

No bash here, but no, honestly if you are that jealous there is very little in the way of a chance.
I could MAYBE see if you didnt want him talking to fem subs, since you specifically say you do not talk to other Male doms or female doms. That would be equal respect.  But to expect a Master to give up talking to all females becasue of his sub, thats not logical.  Masters do not have a requirement to give anything for their subs. If you are that concerned about him interacting with someone of the opposite gender, you are a bad match.  You should never doubt your partner to that extent, especailly one you should be able to trust your life to as your Master and owner.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 3:07:36 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
I posted on another thread that what you feel is not relevant.  What is relevant is what you do with those feelings
Of course how one feels matters.   You date and enter a relationship because of the way you feel with with that someone, not because she has the right credentials (I know some people do it that way).  I do agree it should never be shown though; conversed about at home, maybe; shown in public, never.

It's rare or never I am jealous of other women.  What does bother me, is if I'm with someone who seems excessively enthralled/preocupied with someone/thing else while in my presence (or absence let's face it).   Therefore someone who needs to be the center of attention, needs the love/admiration of all the women in the room, or has a roaming eye, would generally not last with me.   I've only ever had to break up over a noncommital playah twice in my lifetime, because, I'm just not the sharing type, generally (thinking of exceptions within wiitwd).

quote:

If I feel jealous because my submissive is talking to somebody else, I personally recognize that this is my own insecurity.  My submissive knows that any time she feels she cannot continue the relationship with me, I will help her pack her stuff and leave.
Sinergy
Insecurity or not, I expect consideration and kindness to my sensibilities/sensitivities.   I suppose this goes to compatibility in the end...  So obviously someone who is so evolved that he cannot understand or deal effectively with my insistence on his monogamy, cannot be with moi.  Like you, if someone is unhappy in my company, I'll be the first to volunteer "don't let the door hit yah", lol.   M 

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 10/1/2006 3:14:30 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 3:48:42 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I fight an on-going battle with myself over feelings of jealousy and envy.  I've been doing this for a long time.  For me, much of this has to do with self-esteem and pessimism and the way I frame things.  I have been working on this and it has helped curb it.  But from time to time it rears its ugly head.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 4:13:02 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
I fight an on-going battle with myself over feelings of jealousy and envy.  I've been doing this for a long time.  For me, much of this has to do with self-esteem and pessimism and the way I frame things.  I have been working on this and it has helped curb it.
Who would have thunk it looking at your lovely picture?   I agree it does have a great deal to do with self esteem, and that's why I say, I am almost never jealous anymore.  
As long as I feel treasured and respected, whatever pangs of discomfort I might feel, stays out of sight/conversation.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 4:24:55 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Who would have thunk it looking at your lovely picture? 


Ah, thank you for the compliment.

Much of my problem arises from the fact that I often compare myself to others and find myself lacking.  Of course I choose for comparison people who seem to have many things, and I often forget about how much I have and how blessed I am.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 5:57:55 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I found myself being jealous initially and it didnt kill the relationship. I just had to wrok thru it and understand it. Once I knew what was "wrong" with me, I managed to get over it. I guess one has to be willing to face unpleasant truths.

So My answer is there's hope for a relationship even if jealosy is there. If it cant be worked thru, then thats another story.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 6:46:15 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Is there a chance for a relationship if one of the people is jealous?
 
I have no room for tollorance when it comes to Master talking to any other FEMALE. I don't talk to male Dom' or Female Doms and I expect to get the same respect. Everytime I write something here I get bashed. Please just give an honest opinion without bashing.

rose442


Yes. It takes time, commuication and trust.

I assume your Master talks to other females during the day? one or two of those may be submissive so whats the problem?

Its no different online. as long as he is OPEN and you trsut him.

I'd strongly suggest talking to each other and working out a way of dealing with the jealousy. it worked for myself and my Master.




_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 7:27:36 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

The lack of trust that constant jealousy a female shows is an ultimate turn off for me.  It means she thinks she has the right to choose my friends and who I talk to-it's an isolation tactic-and emotionally abusive.

If I was with you, and you pulled it on me..You would find your fears realized in about five seconds-and your ass out the door in ten. Why your guy puts up with it, I have no idea.

But that probably won't last forever.


Hello A/all,

While I agree with most of this statement, I take offense to you characterizing that it is something only those with XX chromosomes do.

Jealous people do this.

Human Beings that have periods and can bear children sometimes do this.

Human Beings with 2 heads and enough blood to run one at a time sometimes do this as well.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go

Sinergy


Bother. I thought you didn't allow people to control your emotional content.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 9:39:28 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Masters do not have a requirement to give anything for their subs.


I disagree completely with that part of your post, but perhaps I misunderstand. Of course in my estimation a master/lord/dom has a requirement to act in a way that is honorable if they have agreed to a monogamous situation with their submissive. If they are hiding conversations, not accountable for their time, misrepresent whom they are talking to, they are not living up to that word perhaps. In other words a master/lord/dom has the requirment to keep their word as it is to the negotiated boundaries of the relationship.

I think that getting pissy everytime a submissive's dominant person talks to the opposite sex to be controlling the dominant. At the same time if the dominant acts in a way that inflames the submissive this is wrong too. Sometimes people stir the pot so to speak, and they sometimes do it by intention. Submissives are not the only people within dynamics that can manipulate... it is human nature to do so. 

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 9:40:32 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Bother. I thought you didn't allow people to control your emotional content.


Its funny how people exagerate what they read in their minds... very amusing

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 10:18:17 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MCandNuri

A hard line, "NO YOU CANNOT TALK TO ANY OTHER..." is pretty unhealthy, in my opinion. Just because I talk to another top/Dom/Domme/whatever, does not mean I want to screw them. The implication that I would, I think, would be pretty insulting to me and quite hurtful.



Hello A/all,

I completely agree with this sentiment.  I feel that statements such as this are the result of the insecurities of the person who makes them.  I have been with several women who tried to be this way towards me.  It always struck me as analogous to children pulling the covers over their heads to hide from the monsters underneath.  In this case, the monster of S/somebody who will sweep my partner off her feet.

If she wants to be with me, she will do what needs to be done to be with me.  If she doesnt, I let her know up front that I will help her pack.

The person I am currently seeing gets emails from many Dominants on here.  In a few cases, these are regular (or sometime) posters on the message boards.  Some small percentage of these are ones looking to try to hook up with her.  I personally find it amusing, although she sometimes feels upset by them.  In one case, I politely asked a more persistant cyber-stalking Dominant to cease and desist contacting her, indicating that she and I had both asked him to stop.

The response I got back was argumentative, abrasive, and haughty.  He spent some time demanding I answer his questions as to why I was contacting him.  Two thoughts came to my mind:  "He is not the Boss of me" and "Oh, another legend in his own mind."  So I looked over the note I had sent, realized it was fairly clearly written, had no egregious spelling errors, and politely stated what she and I wanted him to do.  In thinking about it, his response reminded me of the little kid on the playground that screams and rants and intrudes on games where they are not wanted, largely because any feedback from other people is better than no feedback.

So I did not bother to respond to him.  He has not contacted her since.

I guess my point is that I am secure enough in myself, and secure enough in knowing her feelings for me, to not feel a need to lock her up in a heart shaped box to prevent her from interacting with other people.

But that is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to MCandNuri)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 10:22:45 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

Bother. I thought you didn't allow people to control your emotional content.



Hello Frank01,

Please re-read my posts then, because you apparently did not understand my statements.

I have emotions like everybody else. What I generally dont do is allow my emotions to control my actions.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 10:33:54 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

Bother. I thought you didn't allow people to control your emotional content.



Hello Frank01,

Please re-read my posts then, because you apparently did not understand my statements.

I have emotions like everybody else. What I generally dont do is allow my emotions to control my actions.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy


Actions, like typing?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 10:56:21 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

Actions, like typing?



That is exactly correct.

My emotions are incapable of using a keyboard.

Clear as mud?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Jealousy - 10/1/2006 11:39:01 AM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank01

Actions, like typing?



That is exactly correct.

My emotions are incapable of using a keyboard.

Clear as mud?

Sinergy


That's a bit amusing. Your fingers seem to be.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 60
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