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sub on heat - 9/22/2006 11:24:18 PM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

hello,

i'm new to collarme and i wanted some feedback so i perused the boards and decided i'd ask the Masters out there. forgive me if there is some protocol i've missed...

anyway. my D has just moved in with me. He's taking His time to adjust i guess (well He even told me so) because we haven't even had vanilla sex let alone scened in the few days He's been here. i can understand where He's coming from. it wouldn't be easily to D properly after moving into the house of His sub and He's not one to do things half-heartedly or when He feels the time isn't right.

i applaud him for this, because the last thing i want is to be D'd by someone who isn't quite comfortable. i'm also blissfully happy to just have Him with me.

but i can't help feeling like we should be at each other like dogs in heat... and well, i'm feeling a bit like a dog on heat ;) i'm certainly not shy when it comes to initiating sex in a vanilla situation (and usually i don't have any need to) but with Him i feel it's inappropriate to just go and 'maul' Him. i have done it before and i got a bit of a reprimand although He did admit to enjoying it ;) but now that He's moved in i feel like a virgin waiting for the right time to be deflowered!

again, if it was a vanilla r'ship and i wasn't getting enough i'd just go and 'relieve myself' but i cannot lie to Him and He would not be happy.

what's a sub to do?

gypsy xxx

Post #: 1

RE: sub on heat - 9/22/2006 11:27:00 PM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

Learn control. No one else can do it FOR you.

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 2

RE: sub on heat - 9/22/2006 11:30:43 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

How long has he been living with you? Did he come from a long distance? Is there jet lag involved? Did he get kicked out of his place? How long have you known him? Was sex good before he moved in? There is not enough info to make any type of comment.

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 3

RE: sub on heat - 9/22/2006 11:34:22 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

How long has he been living with you? Did he come from a long distance? Is there jet lag involved? Did he get kicked out of his place? How long have you known him? Was sex good before he moved in? There is not enough info to make any type of comment.

I agree with this, but I remain wary.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 4

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 12:16:30 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

Estring - i hope this clears things up a bit...

How long has he been living with you? 3 days or so.
Did he come from a long distance? around 500ks
Is there jet lag involved? well, car-lag :)
Did he get kicked out of his place? no. He was already planning on moving to melbourne before He met me. His work commitments ended and He had no ties there, whereas i have family here so i would be very reluctant to relocate.
How long have you known him? approx 3 mths - stayed with Him for 10 days and talked online and phone virtually non-stop.
Was sex good before he moved in? well we only had 10 days to have real sex and yes it was very good. extensive sceneing online, which included me doing 'tasks' and taking photos.

i'm really not concerned... i'm just f'en horny ;)

Frank - i think that's the key here.

thanks,
gypsy xxx

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 3:53:54 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

well we only had 10 days to have real sex and yes it was very good. extensive sceneing online, which included me doing 'tasks' and taking photos.

I'll be the bad guy and say that this is too soon and you're in over your head. Having a kinky week and moving in together is sort of like enjoying a bite of hamburger and deciding to become a rancher. Too fast with too little information. You're all wound up because of the idea he's planted in your head of what it will be like. Personally I think what's on his mind is what the frock have I done. Being a dominant to a real live person is very different from online and oooh baby clean that floor on cam and send me pics. This is where my personal opinion comes in that online is damaging if the goal is a real relationship because it sets up fantasy ideas as to what the "relationship" is about. Once you're hands on you basically have to start from scratch and unless you already posessed those skills there are going to be problems.
Personal favorite joke:
Girl says that she's an "expert" with flogging and caning and a "heavy bottom".
Dom starts warming her up noticing that she's very tense bracing for each stroke of a warm up flogger. She repeatedly states that she's fine meanwhile tears are beginning to well up.
The Dom pulls out a cane and gives a few sharp raps. She jumps up screaming OW IT NEVER HURT LIKE THAT ONLINE!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 6

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 4:45:32 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I'm going to disagree... but you knew that was coming I'm sure... lol

My husband and I spent all of 4 days together before moving in together. We also spent a lot of time talking on the phone, on messenger and through email. That's been about four years ago and we are still blissfully happy. Sometimes you just know when it's the right thing to do.

As for the "waiting"? gypsylee... talk to him, listen to him and reassure him... he probably IS thinking "what the hell have I done??!!" Do your best to let him know that your home is now His home as well. Make space for his special things. Make sure he has space for his clothes and other belongings, unpack and make it look like he lives there too. It's difficult to move into someone elses home especially if you look around and don't see anything that says you live there too.

As an example... My daughter moved in with her girlfriend, she had lived there for several months when I went to visit. The first thing I noticed was that there was nothing sitting on a shelf, a table or anyplace else that said my daughter lived there. I had given her a family heirloom... she was the fifth generation to be in possession of a intricate soup tureen. I asked her where it was... it was in a box in the basement along with all of her other stuff. No, that relationship didn't last, she wasn't allowed to change the decor at all, nothing there was hers. Does that make sense?

I guess the point I am making is that you need to make sure he feels like part of the household, that he has a say in how it is decorated or arranged and a place to put his stuff....

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 7

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 4:49:35 AM

wouldlike2

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

how long has he been living with you? 3 days or so.
Did he come from a long distance? around 500ks
Is there jet lag involved? well, car-lag :)
Did he get kicked out of his place? no. He was already planning on moving to melbourne before He met me. His work commitments ended and He had no ties there, whereas i have family here so i would be very reluctant to relocate.
How long have you known him? approx 3 mths - stayed with Him for 10 days and talked online and phone virtually non-stop.
Was sex good before he moved in? well we only had 10 days to have real sex and yes it was very good. extensive sceneing online, which included me doing 'tasks' and taking photos.

hello gypsylee,

10 days together - 3 months contact via online and phone - being honest i really hope that works out for Y/you both
but also i am pretty much realist as to believe in fairytales to see in movies, books etc. ending with "they lived happily with each other for the rest of life"
like i told - i really wish it will work out for Y/you both and who knows - myself i am always open-minded for miracles

concerning Your case - communication is the key IMO .. as always..
and if that does not work out - then something is definitly wrong...
just my two cent

pet

_____________________________

Love arises from the mind while the body follows and reflect the soul

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 8

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 5:22:14 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

He's taking His time to adjust i guess (well He even told me so)

I don't understand what there is to adjust to. You're there and available, and I think most guys would have adjusted after getting there and drinking 1/2 a beer; you would have been fucked then and at least once a day until he got used to being there, and then it would slack off a bit as he adjusted to fucking you all the time.

That's been my experience anyway. I suspect that if it is starting off this way you're going to be disappointed if you're expecting an active sex life.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 9/23/2006 5:27:16 AM >

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 9

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 9:10:49 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

thanks for the feedback - food for thought *chokes back a few retorts*

i do understand where the 'bringers of bad tidings' are coming from and believe me i've had the same said to me by friends and family. sometimes one just has to take a risk though. and my judgement is good. i met my ex-husband online and we spent six weeks together then he packed his belongings and we drove back from perth together. yes, the relationship ended but we did get married, buy a house and have a beautiful baby girl together.

and i don't mean to sound cocky (yes i am always in trouble for being too cocky!) but i am not hard-up for male company. so the fact that the relationship with the father of my only child (and the only man that i've accepted a proposal from) started in a similar fashion reassures me.

Jewel, yes He even has His own room. it just so happens i'm renting a 4brm place and the 'master' brm was empty (how appropriate!) thank you for your constructive advice and yes i'm doing my best to make Him feel at home. it's a tricky situation really because i have the 'upper hand' but it was the best solution to living so far apart that we could come up with.

it's my birthday. He's bought me a gorgeous 'story of O' slave ring and is going to replace all my body piercing jewellery with 'slave' jewellery.

wheeeee

< Message edited by gypsylee -- 9/23/2006 9:31:45 AM >

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 10

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 9:20:24 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

how would one change body jewlary to slave jewlary?

as someone with lets say a few of my own, i dont know what he could do besides buy jewlary he likes and call it slave jewlary?

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 11

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 9:40:56 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

hi mixie,

there is body piercing jewellery known as 'slave' jewellery which basically consists of a standard bar with a ring on it (we came across it on ebay). i've got pieces for my labret, tongue and belly.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

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Post #: 12

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 11:22:28 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

oh p.s. mixie ~ how does one use a pic of themself as their avatar? i noticed it said something like 'avatar as profile pic' but that sounds like it uses your avatar as your profile pic?

the ring has been put on my ring finger

the jewellery goes in soon. i checked your profile and saw you have 8 piercings! i'm going for a fourth at some stage (below waist). would be interested to know more about yours.

gypsy birthday girl

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 13

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 12:35:03 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

oh p.s. mixie ~ how does one use a pic of themself as their avatar? i noticed it said something like 'avatar as profile pic' but that sounds like it uses your avatar as your profile pic?

It is actually the reverse. It uses your profile picture 'as' your avatar here.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 14

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 12:39:51 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

hi mixie,

there is body piercing jewellery known as 'slave' jewellery which basically consists of a standard bar with a ring on it (we came across it on ebay). i've got pieces for my labret, tongue and belly.

Careful about wearing those in tongue and belly. They catch on things VERY easily. I have one I wear in my labret sometimes, which I really like, but the friends I've known who have worn them in the other places have had some serious difficulty with pulling and ripping the piercings as well as biting down on the oral ones.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 15

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 2:10:47 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

SInce the deeds have already been done in this case, I'm going with what Sweet said.

It's too soon to be too worried. Just make sure you guys keep talking and make sure there aren't undercurrents not being expressed here. If another week goes by without some fun happening, then you might have to really start to WORK at reconnecting with eachother. Go out on a fun kinky date together, show your affections and adoration and see what happens.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 16

RE: sub on heat - 9/23/2006 9:29:04 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

um... anything I say now will just get me in trouble.... but lemme say this isnt the smartest thing i ever heard about.... the fact that you are useing the fact you met your X this way as what is reashureing yourself shows me that maybe this wasnt the best idea.. He is your X meaning the last time you did this it didnt work out so well... why do it again???

Ok Ill be quiet now

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 17

RE: sub on heat - 9/24/2006 1:04:09 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

thanks Lucky, yeah, i mean it's not like we've been sleeping in separate rooms ignoring each other :) there's been a fair bit of affection. i forgot to mention that i'm an absolute shocker at being spontaneously affectionate (outside of the bedroom) and it's been a problem with nearly every r'ship i've been in. so yeah maybe i have to work on that.

Magik, basically my r'ships have been pretty disastrous. i'm a bit of a serial monogamist - i get involved and then i bail. as i said, i actually married the ex in question and managed to stay with him for 5yrs, having a child in the process. so he was the best out of a bad bunch.

re the jewellery - yeah the ring on the tongue bar fell off last night (probably cos i was playing with it constantly with my teeth) and the labret dislodged itself this morning. d'oh! not to worry. i've had my fair share of piercing jewellery mishaps :) might have to go down to the piercers and get em to sort it.

ciao bellas,
gypsy xxx

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 18

RE: sub on heat - 9/24/2006 6:19:13 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

Let one guess:

1. He has no money of his own to speak of
2. You are working and paying all of the bills
3. He is taking a 'bit' of time off before seeking another job
4. He does little or nothing to help around the house
5. It is nothing like he said it would be

Is this accurate?

(in reply to gypsylee)

Post #: 19

RE: sub on heat - 9/25/2006 12:38:23 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

uh... sorry to disappoint but no.

*flares nostrils and takes a deep breath*

you dare to insinuate that He is posing as a Dom to freeload off me... do you think i am stupid?!! i really don't know if this is more of an insult to Him or to me.

how rude.

again, thanks to those who have given me constructive advice and even the naysayers who've taken the time to go into why they think this situation is silly.

but this kind of blatant suggestion makes me reluctant to put myself 'out there' with regard to my private affairs.

gypsy.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to ayasha)

Post #: 20

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