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What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 8:59:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Here's the scenario:

The Master(Mistress,Owner,Lord,etc,) comes home and is greeted by His(Her) servant(submissive/slave) with a list of desires (not NEEDS, because we are not talking about food,shelter and the occasional atta' girl/boy attention). The servant has been working on this all day, even though before they enetered into the relationship they agreed upon the basic tenets of their D/s power exchange. The servant has been reading some of the posts on her favorite BDSM message board and is intrigued by the variety of attitudes regarding others' self-described identities and how they behave in their relationships.

This slave sees the possibility of two very different lists....

List #1:
To be spanked(or flogged, caned, etc.) upon request until I announce my safe-word
To be shared with other Doms occasionally, but not females, because I don't like girls
To have some sort of asset(s) to fall back on in case of Your demise or my dismissal
To interview and eventually invite into our home a sister sub that I will be superior over

List #2
To bring joy into Your life through my commitment to our relationship, regardless of what You ask me to do.
To play an integral part in the satisfaction that You enjoy from our relationship by serving you, without question.
To bring you pleasure, which would be obvious, and avoid like the devil the things that displease You, which is the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt.

Which list most closely resembles the one you might write in this scenario?
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 9:28:20 AM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		You make this very easy for the people who "get" it, and even more confusing for the ones that don't.


_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 9:40:15 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		i strive for list #2 i wouldn't present it as soon as He walked in the door though. The last thing anyone likes after a hard day or nights work is to be greeted with a list even a list like #2.
When Master walks in the door i stop whatever i'm doing and do a happy dance before giving Him a hug and kiss. Heh not how it's "supposed" to be done i guess but it pleases Master greatly and that's all that matters to me. So it works for us.
Now as i said i strive for list #2 to always be my attitude but alas it is not always so. if i've had a really crappy day i'm not the sweetest submissive or if i am just waking up from a deep sleep, which sometimes has me growling like a bear ~sigh~
Anyway i'll keep striving.
lil_joy

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 9:50:23 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
I'd say whichever list Doug would choose. Although he would never choose anything like either list.
It would be up to his discretion.

Merc, you seem to be wording your questions lately trying to prove something. Is there anything wrong?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 9:59:25 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

The servant has been working on this all day, even though before they enetered into the relationship they agreed upon the basic tenets of their D/s power exchange.



First of all, I would never greet Sir at the door with a list of my desires. I am more of a list #2 kind of submissive, but as you said that would have all been discussed prior to entering into the relationship thus eliminating the need to rehash the issue.

If for some reason I found myself suddenly wanting list #1, there would still be no need to greet Him with that list. List #1 to me would be like going backward. If that were the case, then instead of greeting Him at the door with it, I think it would be more like "Sir, I have suddenly realized that I am in the wrong relationship".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 1:44:34 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Merc, you seem to be wording your questions lately trying to prove something. Is there anything wrong?


Gloria,

This post comes from beth's journal. When she read it to me I told her to post it here. We've been contacted a lot recently about how we live. I don't know if it's as much as people "getting it" as Jeff says above, but we honestly want to be as clear as we can. I thought beth's journal entry was a good illustration about some of the nuances about living as M/s 24/7. More specifically it's beth's attempt to give here perspective, which to her is VERY clear.

As we've discussed, as good as these written threads are, face-to-face dialog is so much better. Hope you'll be coming to our Super-Bowl party.

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 2:05:25 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		I doubt I am ever going to enter into another full time situation, but to me, list number two is implicit to my nature. That would have been clearly defined before the collar was ever locked in place. I may not want the specific things mentioned in list number one, but if I were to present a list of desires to my owner upon their return from wherever, that would be the sort of list I presented. I doubt I would ever bring up list number two after the initial negotiation, unless those basic desires were not being met and I wanted to discuss the relationship as a whole.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 2:33:58 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Even if i know this by many here would be the wrong list, i would say list 1, even if i would no come whit it to him when he comes in the door, nor would i have thos choices on it, but it is the closest one to me.

(in reply to Suleiman)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 5:50:49 PM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		I'm a sub and option 2 matches me better. I am not slave material however. I have limits that may be more than a slave does. I couldn't quit my job if I wanted to. I am a professional and support most of the household.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 6:21:41 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline 		like the rest, i don't see myself greeting him at the door with a list. i am more list 2 than list 1.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 7:40:56 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		i'd choose neither #1 nor #2. i agree, this is too easy.

#1 is ridiculous. Were i to present INSIDEYOURMIND with such a list, i'm willing to bet He would ask me if it was some type of joke..
#2 is even more ridiculous in that everything listed is expected of me in serving Him, to begin with, and has been understood by me from the start.

... and i don't present lists to anyone, and especially not to INSIDEYOURMIND. i prefer to communication face to face, with spoken dialog, regardless, and i doubt He would tolerate anything less from me.

i do have desires, of course & INSIDEYOURMIND is well aware of them because when He ASKED me of them, i shared them with Him. i wouldn't make such requests of Him & expect that that He should comply. i'm the one to serve HIS every desire, not the other way around. It's His choice as to whether mine are forfilled (and most of them have been), and i'm pretty certain He likes it that way.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)


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(in reply to liltxsubby)
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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/14/2005 8:57:09 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

#1 is ridiculous. #2 is even more ridiculous


I personally don't see either list as "ridiculous". Each relationship has its own dynamics. So certain submissives would identify with different list. Merc, can we have a third list that has a little of both, ala cart?

As I progress on my submissive journey I would hope that I could identify more with list 2, but as of now, I can identify with some of each list....

A BK list: (Burger King...Have it your way)

To be spanked(or flogged, caned, etc.) upon request until I announce my safe-word

To have some sort of asset(s) to fall back on in case of Your demise or my dismissal

To bring joy into Your life through my commitment to our relationship, regardless of what You ask me to do.

To play an integral part in the satisfaction that You enjoy from our relationship by serving you, without question



Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

(in reply to cynnacent1)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 12:54:52 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: liltxsubby

like the rest, i don't see myself greeting him at the door with a list.



I'll admit, the first thought I had upon reading beth's original post was that something had gone horribly wrong in the hypothetical household, and the slave was presenting a sort of BDSM magna carta. It took me a couple of read throughs to figure out what the question was. Then again, I've had a very busy day, and I don't really have my mind on the pleasures of anonymous communication.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to liltxsubby)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 12:20:36 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

List #2
To bring joy into Your life through my commitment to our relationship, regardless of what You ask me to do.
To play an integral part in the satisfaction that You enjoy from our relationship by serving you, without question.
To bring you pleasure, which would be obvious, and avoid like the devil the things that displease You, which is the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt.


Ok, I would have to pick #2. But in the scheme of things, isn't this what most of us strive for to a certain extent? So this would already be set in motion. It wouldn't be something I would have to present him with later.

In the end, if he is happy then I am happy. And if he is displeased, like you said, it "is the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt".

Take care,





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 1:17:26 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Midear Beth-

I was thinking about this while I was out riding today, and I realized something. If I where handed a list- I'd rather be handed list 'one'.

I want list two, also- but I want to see it happen- not read about it. List one, on the other hand, I'd be happy to take under advisement, and it would be nice to have clear statement of her desires, what she is seeking in our dynamic, instead of the burden of mindreading/guessing falling on me.

Stay warm,
Lawrence


_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 4:09:56 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		willing2serve ........ you've misunderstood.

YES, either list IS ridiculous in that either list would be absolutely ridiculous coming from *me*. Please note the explainations i have offered of just why each list would be ridiculous were they to be applied to the D/s relationship between INSIDEYOURMIND & myself and it may become a bit more clear to you that i am referring to the possibilities of either list being presented to INSIDEYOURMIND by *me*.

my reply is not in judgement of the preferences/choices/kinks of others. i am referring to myself.

As i have stated in replies to other topics here on the forums, i'm a firm believer of: Live and let live, judge not .... i don't judge *your* kink, so please don't judge *mine*. i'd be the last to judge anyone else, and therefore, couldn't care less as to what others can or can not identify with ... that would be their business, not mine..

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)


< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 1/15/2005 4:16:55 PM >

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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 4:13:12 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

my reply is not in judgement of the preferences/choices/kinks of others. i am referring to myself.

As i have stated in replies to other topics here on the forums, i'm a firm believer of: Live and let live, judge not .... i don't judge *your* kink, so please don't judge *mine*.


Thanks for clearing that up. I did misunderstand. I have much respect for you and insideyourmind..I just assumed it was an off day (smile)

Be well,
Willing2serve1

(in reply to cynnacent1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 4:27:04 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		Uhh, willing2serve, no problem... but .... i am a *slave* ... i'm not ALLOWED days off ... err nor 'off days' either. .... lol.



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RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 4:29:37 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		No vacation time either? and the perks and benefits would be? Don't tell me, I might be envious....wink...

(in reply to cynnacent1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What kind of submissive/slave are you? - 1/15/2005 8:05:47 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline 		Uhggrr.. i knew i forgot something. That should have been on a LIST, no?!!? i never even THOUGHT to include vacation time as a desire when INSIDEYOURMIND and first spoke of what being His slave would involve. Perhaps it is not too late to renegotiate?? .oO( yeah right .. pffffft .... that would go over well i bet ... rofl )

Back on topic, i only keep one list. It's a list of 'things to do', written in a daily agenda book given to me for Christmas by INSIDEYOURMIND.

Oh, and had i thought of it, i'd not have included vacation time unless the agreement stipulated that it would be a round trip for two. Being His slave DOES have it's benefits AND perks .. a vacation would be a whole lot more fun WITH Him, rather than without.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)





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(in reply to willing2serve)
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