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RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 9:48:31 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Please people come on he didnt know??? was he never in a high school health class... I know we were tought what average was and 1' 1/2 inches isnt average.
I was with a man one time that was about the same size(maybe 1 n 1/2 inches errect maybe) and ok while him telling me his size wasnt the first thing out of his mouth it also was way befor we were in any sort of seriouse play reltionship. The first time I saw it I had to literaly cause myself pain by biteing my cheek hard enough to draw blood so that I didnt giggle... The relationship ended befor we had sex so i dont know how effective he was with it but it was very small and yes even he knew it and addmited it to me. And no he hadnt seen a lot of other cocks or anything he came apon that conclution on his own(emagine that). It dont take a genouse after all.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 9/23/2006 9:51:48 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Sirandlittle1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 9:49:16 PM   
MistressTexas


Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		Why are women so bad at guessing measurements?


Because all our lives we've been told that this ______________________________ Is 6 inches.

Sorry that was just something that made me laugh. Anyway, I once had just about the same problem, and for me it was a deal breaker. He was also very clingy, and absolutely devastated if I didn't orgasm. Now to me at least, there is a difference between faking it on those rare times when I'm enjoying myself immensely, but something just isn't working for whatever multitude of reasons, and faking it after what I figure is an appropriate amount of time, while writing the grocery list in my head and wondering if I'm going to have bruises from this clueless rutting. Not that theres anything wrong with bruises during sex, as long as I'm actually getting something out of it. If he's small and knows how to use it, thats one thing.. If hes miniscule and delusional, this is where I have problems. Now my button boy, was completly out of it, and honestly believed that at 2 inches (or thereabouts), he was huge, and guys in porn all wore extenders. So that was the deal breaker to me. Not the size, but how he chose to handle it. I completely agree with everyone else here, in that they say talk to him. And I commend you on having the balls (so to speak) to do so. You have nothing to feel guilty about, although I know it doesnt seem that way. Trust your instinct on this one, and I'm anxious to see how it turns out.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 9:52:36 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Now wait a minute...I was going along just fine in this thread until it became about (1) his failure to disclose and (2) that he was somehow lying or dishonest because he didn't disclose?

It is easy to advocate "total honesty", but it is I think much harder to live it.  Those of you who took on the guy as somehow being liar, or even took on the OP as "not finding out sooner" are wrong.  I much more respect CravesPleasure, KatyLied and the others who posted about how they dealt with this issue in their lives.

I'm going to call you who posted in that negative vein out on this one:  I think you are being hypocrites.  One common complaint we see here on CM from women is about all the rude jerks who introduce their penises into the conversation TOO EARLY, by words and/or pictures.  NOW we get the vocal (mostly) female contingent asking for a "small penis" disclaimer?  I don't buy it. 

LA (and the others, but she leapt into the fray with her take on the "I have a small penis note"), would you expect this message at the same moment in the relationship that you expected the "I have a small penis" note?

quote:

Before we really get into things seriously, I just want you to know that my penis is REALLY big.  I want us to have a very active and fun sex life and I definitely want to have many types of intercourse with you and hope you can take the time to get to know me in everything, but in the past women have been unable to walk for a week after sex with me and two of them needed emergency corrective surgery.  I know this can be a problem for some people and wanted to get it out in the open and know it's something we can talk about so you don't run screaming from the room when I drop my pants and threaten to rend you in twain."


Similarly, Lotus, would you send this note (or suggest it be sent) were it applicable?

quote:

Dear Sir:  Please note before our conversations get any more intimate and detailed that I am a 40+ year old woman who has borne two children through full vaginal births.  Because of this, note that my vaginal canal has been stretched and pulled out of shape extensively, and despite what they say, it don't all snap back.  I know this can be a problem for some people, and I thought I should remind you that my road to pleasure, while not quite the width of the New Jersey Turnpike outside of Newark, is no longer the quaint and narrow one lane covered bridge you might find in a younger girl.  Yours,   ...


Come on, people.  Be reasonable. 

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 9:54:25 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I guess people should " try it, before they buy it" next time

(in reply to peaceNservice)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 9:56:04 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

Why are women so bad at guessing measurements?


Because all our lives we've been told that this ______________________________ Is 6 inches.



WAIT thats NOT 6 inches???  Master has been lieing to me!!!!

GIGGLES

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to MistressTexas)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:17:37 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:



Please people come on he didnt know???


If you think about it, how many heterosexual men have actually seen an erect penis that is not their own?  I find it highly plausible that a heterosexual man will not know how large he is or is not in comparison to other men.



_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:18:12 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		From what your post states this man knew of his shortcomings and decided to wait until you had become somewhat attached to him before presenting that problem to you. To me that is a big red flag in the trust department. He should have been up front the first time that you played and that way at least it would have saved your being hurt if you do decide this is deal breaker.

There are options, they do sell penis extensions at extreme restraints, it just slides over the cock and adds about 2 inches to it, so that might help. Or if he is good with his tongue or toys there is always that. If not perhaps a sub male slave could be brought in and he could be the stud. Last resort is to find another Dom.

You need to talk to him about it and soon, theres no use in letting it go on any further.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to peaceNservice)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:23:36 PM   
MasterKalif


Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		I couldn't agree more with Emperor1956 and kyraofMists....the only indication would come from the women partners we are with...Ive never had complaints in that departnment luckily

I think a good way for either Dom or sub to get around this issue is to stress that they are sexual-oriented and hence looking or checking each other out should be an early option once they are planning on "playing" or doing whatever it is they both want to do.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:26:21 PM   
Irishblu


Posts: 61
Status: offline 		To me my Master's pleasure comes before mine/above all that has to do with me and my own pleasure.  I can certainly understand the anticipation leading up to your special night and I can also understand how you feel.  But sweetie, you need to talk with your Master.  Simply sit him down before you eat, because it sounds like if you eat before and how nervous you are, you might get sick and that isn't pretty.  And just be honest.  Sounds like y'all have something that works with a little glitch, so to speak.  Because think about it overall, how does he make you feel?  How does your service to him make you feel?  Put things in order of priority for you.  What is important to you?  What is important in your relationship?

After 5 months you should know him pretty well and can gauge his moods and so forth, look deep inside and think about it, is it a deal breaker for you?  If not, then there are so many different things you can do to him to make it not be an issue for him, because from what you are saying and how he hadn't brought it up, it is an issue (IMO).  There is an off chance, to him he is average or just right.  If it is a deal breaker for you, then this is the time before anymore investment is put forth, to let him know.  It doesn't make you a bad person and you should not feel guilty about how you feel.  Everyone is different in their needs and wants. 

Personally I think something should have been said before now, but that is me.  Communication is vital in every aspect of your relationship.  By 5 months and with playing just about everything should have been out in the open.  But again, talk with him, only he can explain.  It is up to you if you accept it.

Good luck and remember deep breaths!!

_____________________________

Be safe and be well,
irishblu

"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice--no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service." -John Burroughs

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:28:08 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I really do not honestly buy that a guy can not know that 1 inch is not tiny. I mean come on, unless he believes that men's penis's do not grow bigger than when they were infants.

*edited to fix two words that ran on*

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 9/23/2006 10:30:47 PM >

(in reply to MasterKalif)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:33:58 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

We might not talk about it much, but we are hyper-aware of any supposed "difficiencies" in that department.


I disagree... this so called Hyper-awareness isn't usually based on any actual knowledge of facts for comparison.  The fear of being defficient maybe real or it maybe just an illusion.  The problem is..... what is really the average size.  Do you only talk of length or are we talking about girth as well and lets not forget the actual hardness of the erection as well.  The ways to consider size has a few variables that are put into the perception. At the end of it thou... a great majority of men have never seen anyones erection but their own.  So ... do we listen to the urban myth of what is a large cock... do we listen to urban myth to what is an average.

I know personally for alot of years I considered myself at best to be average and even on the small size.  It was not until I became involved with alot of other individuals that my perspective of my size has changed.  Within my lifestyle, I have lost count of the male erections that i have seen in my activities.  With the exception of one individual.. I was on par or larger than all of them.  This of course was reinforced by females that I have been rather um blunt with regards to my size.

An interesting note to add..... the size of an erection can't be measured by looking at the unerected penis.  For men, this is the most likely state that they see another man's penis.  I suspect alot of men gain a misperception because of they equate size of the unerect with that of the erected.


lastly.. just wish to compliment and agree with Emperor's comments with regards to the hypocrisy of some posts

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 9/23/2006 10:36:02 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to FirmhandKY)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:41:16 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		this slave agrees with the others who stated that you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not. Either way, you still have to discuss this with you Dominant.
 
this slave would like to add that for her and her owner, sexual intercourse was something that we both agreed would not be part of our relationship. As already stated, there are many other ways of achieving pleasure in that department, as you already know.
 
 

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to peaceNservice)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:44:52 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ok Ill give you MAYBE he didnt know but please... by all she said it sounds as if he did know and hid it...

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 10:53:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
LA (and the others, but she leapt into the fray with her take on the "I have a small penis note"), would you expect this message at the same moment in the relationship that you expected the "I have a small penis" note?

You're right, communication is a hard thing to do, and most women are notorious for putting the onus on the man for not saying the right thing the right way at the right time and making it all his fault and using it as an excuse to dismiss him (and then we wonder why men don't communicate or TRY).

The discussion about possible sexual issues should occur when you're seriously beginning to think about doing sexual things together in real life.  This includes what and how to use protection, issues with past partners, health worries, contingency plans, and particular insecurities. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:01:31 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

I'm going to call you who posted in that negative vein out on this one:  I think you are being hypocrites.  One common complaint we see here on CM from women is about all the rude jerks who introduce their penises into the conversation TOO EARLY, by words and/or pictures.  NOW we get the vocal (mostly) female contingent asking for a "small penis" disclaimer?  I don't buy it.


Oh come on, E... there is a big difference between sending a cock photo with an introductory email saying, "On your knees and suck this, slut", and what has been suggested.

I would think that the type of dialog offered by LA would be more than appropriate if a couple has reached a point in the relationship where they feel it may lead to sexual relations.  Women aren't opposed to discussing intimacy; I would hope they do... at least to bring up issues such as appropriate testing and contraception.

What is typically not appreciated is the vainglorious attempts to seduce by claiming mythically-proportioned naughty bits and phenomenal sexual prowess, long before interest is even established.

And yes... I think it would be just as appropriate to disclose and discuss possible issues if a man felt his large size might cause a problem, or if a woman thought any lack of natural constriction due to childbirth might not be appreciated.  These types of things aren't easy to bring up... no one said they would be.  But giving a potential partner the benefit of the doubt, and showing a little trust and goodwill, will go a long way toward alleviating possible anxiety.

I will agree with you that "total honesty" is easy to advocate, but hard to live.  I can't even say that it's completely possible.  But just because something is hard to achieve, doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 9/23/2006 11:15:35 PM >

(in reply to Emperor1956)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:02:53 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Ok Ill give you MAYBE he didnt know but please... by all she said it sounds as if he did know and hid it...

Magik's slave


Or maybe he did exactly what I did with alandra .... her and I never had sex for over a month it was just alot of teasing.  When I took her... she didn't get to see it.  In fact I would say it was a few times later before she got to see it.

With kyra.. the first time we were together face to face.. I took her that night... and again kyra didn't get to see my cock until the next morning... in an unerect state.  It wasn't until the next night that she actually seen it in it's erect state.

Also... just maybe... He doesn't care about his size, maybe he knows that he is small.  That it is not important to him and nothing the girl has said would lead him to believe that size would matter to her.  If she has indicated that size mattered and he is not insecure about it... then why would he feel the need to talk about it.   If size mattered to her.. then she should of expressed it long before she opened door number One.  The only way she is going to learn if he hid it from her... is ASK HIM.  NOTHING she has said leads me to believe that he has hid the issue.  All that she has said can onlly lead me to consider that it is possible.. but there are other possibilities as well.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:26:48 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		fast reply,

The issue in my mind is not that a man has a small penis. It would be the failure that some men have to address this any differently than lets say erectile dysfunction. If a man has an ED problem then it is obvious to both that something needs to happen for mutual pleasure and satisfaction, with someone who is rather small these talks might not ever happen (in my limited experience). I think it is a question of how to address the lack of sensation as not a deficiency, but honestly. Some women do not have vaginal orgasms at all, some women need only clitoral stimuli, so it is not an issue for many women. Some women it is going to be a huge issue with.

I have included a link to the average penis size who wonder what it is, pretty easy to find many sites that have the same ballpark range... I chose to cite wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size

For those who say not all men would be aware, an ich and a half or two inches would be well below average.

It is up to the OP how she wants to address this very real situation, and if she feels as though she had a bait and switch. I would tend to think that perhaps the length of the time they have been dating leading up to being intimate by his choice speaks to his probable awareness of his "issue". Does that make him evil? I don't think so personally, but it would not be totally unimaginable that a woman may feel a little as though they were tricked emotionally speaking. I am not saying that happened, I am saying it would cross my mind if this situation happened to me.

It is a pretty hard subject to bring up isn't it?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:29:01 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

We might not talk about it much, but we are hyper-aware of any supposed "difficiencies" in that department.


I disagree... this so called Hyper-awareness isn't usually based on any actual knowledge of facts for comparison.  The fear of being defficient maybe real or it maybe just an illusion.  The problem is..... what is really the average size.  Do you only talk of length or are we talking about girth as well and lets not forget the actual hardness of the erection as well.  The ways to consider size has a few variables that are put into the perception. At the end of it thou... a great majority of men have never seen anyones erection but their own.  So ... do we listen to the urban myth of what is a large cock... do we listen to urban myth to what is an average.

I know personally for alot of years I considered myself at best to be average and even on the small size.  It was not until I became involved with alot of other individuals that my perspective of my size has changed.  Within my lifestyle, I have lost count of the male erections that i have seen in my activities.  With the exception of one individual.. I was on par or larger than all of them.  This of course was reinforced by females that I have been rather um blunt with regards to my size.

An interesting note to add..... the size of an erection can't be measured by looking at the unerected penis.  For men, this is the most likely state that they see another man's penis.  I suspect alot of men gain a misperception because of they equate size of the unerect with that of the erected.


lastly.. just wish to compliment and agree with Emperor's comments with regards to the hypocrisy of some posts


KoM,

Perhaps "hyper-aware" was a poor choice of words.

My meaning would be more accurately stated as "sensitive to" in the sense that while growing up, sexual identification insults and insults about the size of a males organ are common ("needle dick", "pencil dick", "teeny weeny","she needed tweezers" etc).  They are especially effective and insulting when coming from a woman, are they not?

Perhaps it is just my "hillbilly" southern roots showing, and not a culture that all men grew up in, but I am writing from my perspective.

However, even your own words show that you were, for many years, under the impression that you were "at best average and even on the small size".  Where did this initial impression come from?  Does it not mean you considered your size at some point?  Don't (most) all men?

Which is my point.

If you, who is "on par or larger" than average, thought you were below average, what then do you think the most plausible thoughts are of a man who is definitely "below par"?

Personally, I've never been particularly hung up about my size either, and understand that I'm at least "average". But I'd also be lying if I said that if a woman told me that I was "smaller than average" in any context other than one of open honest communications, it wouldn't have an impact (even if I never let the impact show).

It has nothing to do with the physical facts, and everything to do with the emotional context.

I find it difficult to credit the man (or any man) who is under discussion with total obliviousness on this subject, which is the argument that you, Emperor and LaM and LA all seem to now be making.

FHky




_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:39:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
Also... just maybe... He doesn't care about his size, maybe he knows that he is small.  That it is not important to him and nothing the girl has said would lead him to believe that size would matter to her.  If she has indicated that size mattered and he is not insecure about it... then why would he feel the need to talk about it.  

I think the whole issue of him asking often when they had sex if she felt it and her obviously NOT feeling it is where the problem started.  He obviously wants her to feel it or find it a turn on for her to express how awesome it is to feel his cock, and since she really doesn't feel anything, she finds herself in the position of disappointing him and maybe hurting his feelings over it.

As I said before, many men have no clue that they are really lacking in an area, or (rare but possible) this is the first woman who really has had this particular issue.

Either way, it needs to be openly discussed. NOW

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Need advice on size of Master's --beeeep-- - 9/23/2006 11:41:57 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
.... I want us to have a very active and fun sex life and I definitely want to have many types of intercourse ...


Suggests a new layer of meaning for the term "virgin ears".

Don't even get me going on "Nosey Parker."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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