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Najakcharmer -> Geeky fetish rant (was: do mistresses like CD's) (9/24/2006 5:24:52 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
I have always thought asking in general if Mistresses like (insert subject here) was a ridiculous thing. Thats like asking if Women like Ice cream or if Men prefer long hair.
No thanks on the ice cream, yes please on long haired subbie boys especially if they are wearing pointy ears and a well cut leather jerkin with those short Celtic wrap pants that shows a flash of thigh now and then. ;)
Different people do indeed like different things. I am personally a hardcore medieval/fantasy fetishist and have spent multiple thousands of dollars on Ren Faire/SCA/LARPING wardrobe and gear. Black leather and crushed velvet, chainmail bondage and knife play with daggers, that's for me. I *can* play the more traditional BDSM/kink games, but there is nothing that does it for me like a well drawn fantasy roleplaying character in a scene with some plot, some character background and a metric fuckton of costuming and props. Everything else is just sort of makeshift and lackluster in comparison for me, because it isn't my personal fetish.
I'd really rather be playing D&D than B&D. Ideally I'd like to combine the two, but if it comes down to a choice of a kink event where I know I'll get to play, and a gaming or roleplaying event where I know all the interaction will be nonsexual and vanilla, I'll definitely be off gaming or swordfighting or tavern keeping for the weekend. There's only so much "second best" kinky play I can do without ending up feeling completely bored and frustrated because my own kink doesn't happen.
The reality of my fetish is that basically nobody else in the BDSM community shares it. I get my roleplaying fix regularly through gaming and fantasy medieval recreation, but nobody I roleplay with in these contexts is kinky and it isn't BDSM, which I also have a need for. There is some overlap in these communities, but it's a small enough percentage that I do not find partners who are active in both places (eg, sub male who is also a hardcore medieval recreationalist and really into scening in character). I almost never have and I expect that I almost never will. The partner I do have who is a gamer doesn't want to combine these interests, so I basically never get any of what I personally want most in a scene.
People I meet in the BDSM world generally don't even want to hear about my fetish. They don't care, they're not into it, they don't want to play that way. Which is fine; not everybody is a devotee of this obscure segment of geekdom, and I recognize that I can't expect them to be. So yeah, I know EXACTLY how you feel if you are a cross dresser despairing of the fact that nobody seems to be even remotely interested in your fetish. Welcome to the same world that all of us live in. We either find partners who happen to share our ideas of what's fun and sexy, live with the fact that we might get some play but might rarely or never get to indulge in what we value most, or have as much fun and fulfillment as we can manage in the rest of our lives and live with the fact that we will probably never find a partner without sacrificing a very large and very precious part of who we are as kinky people.
Me, I'm just going to have fun and make the best of what's good about my life and not worry so much about what's missing. I had a very good weekend running around in armor and a Lyonshel feline facial prosthetic, bashing people with swords. And yes, I think my character looks pretty hot in a black leather surcoat, black plate armor and black leather fencing boots. ;) There was no sex, bondage or kinky play in sight, but it was still more fun than a kinky weekend of boringly mundane BDSM play and no roleplaying in sight. That's my perspective anyhow, and that's how I indulge my fetish without having a play partner who is willing to do it for me.
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