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need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 8:47:20 AM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		This is more of a support me, my feelings are hurt and i need advice from people who read forums sort of thread.

And to start out, i admit, i am crying because my feelings have gone from anger to just horrible hurt.
Briefly, this is what happened...
~~asked a simple question (anyone know where i can find greek or chinese symbols for obedience or slave for a tattoo ~~ i really wanted obedience)
~~response... IF you are a christian, THEN you won't get a tat and Scripture was thrown about like daggers.
~~eventually i responded with the truth of why i asked and who i am in real time
(i brought out things in that post items of which have been posted by others over the last 20 some months i have been reading and posting, so nothing new)
~~once again bombarded with judgements, accusations, selfrighteous bigotry
~~in all this time, i have received in my own private email encouragement and support from individuals who thank me for saying what they had not the guts or courage to say becasue of the responses i got and of course trolls
~~ i wrote a sort of apology for starting the 10 days worth of hate, flaming, sarcasm and self righteous condemnation and reiterated my initial request.
~~ this post NEVER appeared
~~ today i read "....but it's a game they choose to live. I have seen shy go through several." The woman has slandered me on a totally unrelated topic other than what i origianlly posted and dragged my name into a discussion about the difference between subs and slaves, one i have not responded to.

Has this happened to you and what did you do?
What should, could i do?
What would you do?

thanks, shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 8:53:29 AM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

This is more of a support me, my feelings are hurt and i need advice from people who read forums sort of thread.

And to start out, i admit, i am crying because my feelings have gone from anger to just horrible hurt.
Briefly, this is what happened...
~~asked a simple question (anyone know where i can find greek or chinese symbols for obedience or slave for a tattoo ~~ i really wanted obedience)
~~response... IF you are a christian, THEN you won't get a tat and Scripture was thrown about like daggers.
~~eventually i responded with the truth of why i asked and who i am in real time
(i brought out things in that post items of which have been posted by others over the last 20 some months i have been reading and posting, so nothing new)
~~once again bombarded with judgements, accusations, selfrighteous bigotry
~~in all this time, i have received in my own private email encouragement and support from individuals who thank me for saying what they had not the guts or courage to say becasue of the responses i got and of course trolls
~~ i wrote a sort of apology for starting the 10 days worth of hate, flaming, sarcasm and self righteous condemnation and reiterated my initial request.
~~ this post NEVER appeared
~~ today i read "....but it's a game they choose to live. I have seen shy go through several." The woman has slandered me on a totally unrelated topic other than what i origianlly posted and dragged my name into a discussion about the difference between subs and slaves, one i have not responded to.

Has this happened to you and what did you do?
What should, could i do?
What would you do?

thanks, shy

If you are being slandered on the list by an individual, I think an email to the moderators with the evidence is in order.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 11:02:46 AM   
mistressR


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		not had anything as bad as that but have had a sub try and dominate me, a few other unsavouries have got themselves blocked, but i agree with what LadyShoshin said, report them!
and dont worry about what some silly small minded people say, the world is full of these types, you can only ignore them..

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 11:16:09 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		People who are "religious" are oft the most bigoted and closed/narrow minded people in the world. In reality they have been so conditioned by the "system" that they refuse to even look or accept others.. This is sad. But then "religion" as an entity has been the tool of Countrys and Their leaders for hundreds of years ( and just as oft changed to fit "their" needs at the time).
I did not say i did not beleave in "god" or something after.. I am one who has seen the "light" and been told to not go there as it was not MY time. I am strongly against "organized" religions and closed narrow minded people. Even those who attempt to do 'good" in reality do not.. Take the fundamentalist Religious group that brought over 300 "hethin" babys from the tsunami To make sure THEY grow up in the only true religion.. THIS IS WRONG.... anyway sorry for the rant..
You have unfortunately met some of those closed minded people it appears. And THEY are of course the only "right" ones.. NOT...
You just must accept that the only one YOU can control is YOURSELF and YOUR feelings. You cannot control how others feel or react. You can only control how YOU react and from that you can grow as a person.. You can allow others to control you .. but that is something YOU can control....

make sence..
oh btw...... (LARGE HUG)


_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 11:56:45 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Has this happened to you and what did you do?
What should, could i do?
What would you do?


I realize this happened here on the boards. I never responded because I had nothing to add. Unfortunately when you come to the boards and air anything openly you have to expect to be flamed. Whether you are in the right or wrong you have to expect to be flamed. Whether you are guilty or innocent you have to expect to be flamed.
Sadly, after posts I have responded to here lately. I have gotten fan mail from many thanking me for having an opinion that was a bit off center than the rest. I'm not a sheep following the flock. I go my own way. It is noticed. Unfortunately not by enough people. Or else more would not have the fear of voicing their own opinions here.
I even mentioned this fact in a thread here lately. A few of the regular’s sort of shook off my thoughts. Saying they were in fact not true. Well, I have little to no reason to lie. The fan mail doesn't lie. People are having issues actually voicing themselves here out of fear of retribution.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I really don't know what you can do about it. If the mods thought it was an issue they would have already reacted.
My best advice is shake it off. These people do not know you and do not know who you are. How can they judge the unknown?
Try to grow a thick skin, sometimes we need it.
Personally, I'd have some sympathy on these people. The bible says love thy neighbor. It doesn't say love thy neighbor if thy neighbor is a jew or a catholic or a christian. It say's love they neighbor. Period.
If you can't do it on a message board what kind of miserable life must you live with your neighbor's?


< Message edited by sub4hire -- 1/15/2005 12:27:47 PM >

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 12:58:30 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		awwww, Shy-

<Big hugs> It's going to be OK honey....Shhh...

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 1:30:18 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Always fun whan the religious, self rigeous pepole start their littel stream of hate. my advice is to ignore them.

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 2:18:45 PM   
histrblmkr


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

Has this happened to you and what did you do?
What should, could i do?
What would you do?

thanks, shy



Oh honey I know just how you feel, but I've always said consider the source. There are so many self righteous people out there who instead of just reading something and if they don't have anything constructive to say will shove thier own beliefs down your throat and may you feel like crap. Don't take it too serious. Everyone is different and that's why this lifestyle is so interesting. What may work for some doesn't for others and as long as we all understand we are different and stop judging it will be all that much better.
hugs to you
linda

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 2:21:42 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
hugz for you and support.

The main thing to remember is that if your being true to yourself and the Domiant you submit to... thats all that matters.

As a person who is herself, a christian... If I had been given a pound for every time I had heard or been told that BDSM and christianity have nothing in commen and are not compatable, I would be a very wealthy woman.

Love.
That was the beginning.
People... religious and otherwise tend to forget that or try and leave it out.

Love Yourself... love what you do... Love who you are.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 2:33:20 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Hugs (((((((((shy)))))))) i'm sorry you're feeling this way. I have only been flamed once on here and that time i admitted i was out of line and apologized and it was over with. I would just forget it and realize it's part of life on a message board.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 1/15/2005 5:02:54 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 3:28:30 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		As a Catholic I can understand your position and often wonder how all my deeds, beliefs, and views will all add up in the end. As for the Tat, there is no real religious scripture that says you can't have a tat. I remember my first confession after I converted. "Father I have commited adultry" There Priest said "What you where married?" I replied "No neither of us were married. No marriage was envolved." "The priest replied back "Oh that's just fornication and not Adultry. Adultry is a sin having sex outside of wedlock. Fornication is a suggestion not to have sex when not being married." Perhaps you may want to avoid Satanic stuff but Daggers aren't a big deal.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 3:40:14 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:59:06 PM >

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 3:46:55 PM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline 		LadyShoshin,
<*sigh> it was the board "owner" and there is only one mod for over 500 members.


Kinkypupper,
<*sigh> why is it so f###ing hard for me to learn this? Master has been telling me this for the last 11 months! thank you for the reinfocement.
"You just must accept that the only one YOU can control is YOURSELF and YOUR feelings. You cannot control how others feel or react. You can only control how YOU react and from that you can grow as a person.. You can allow others to control you .. but that is something YOU can control...."

Gloria,
Actually, it did not happen here. i don't think anyone on this site could or would have been as nasty (JMHO)!
"I realize this happened here on the boards."

TopCat,
<*giggles>
it'll always be ok with lots of space inbetween.

dark~angel,
thanks so much for the encouragment.

i have always enjoyed reading your posts and once again, getting my focus back right is what you have done.

[[[[[{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}]]]]]] everyone!

shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 7:17:34 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I am sorry to know that your feelings have been hurt. Unfortunately there are mean hateful people everywhere, in real life and in cyber land. Given the relative anonymity of a message board, some feel free to be as rude as they want to be, either not thinking or caring that a real person is on the receiving end of their cruel words. Ignore them, consider the source and move on. I know, easier said than done when your feelings are hurt.

I have never been flamed, but I do get peeved sometimes about things I read. I will either block the poster for a while or take a break from the boards and think to myself that maybe I am just taking this all too seriously.

Cheer up little buttercup, things will get different.


(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 9:39:09 PM   
jillwfsub4blkdom


Posts: 375
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline 		shy,
your Master sounds very wise though it is much easier to hear those words rather than internalize them. i often feel the way you have mentioned in certain aspects of my life. i usually cry. Then i pick myself up and say i know what i am about and what my desires are. Best to ignore the hateful and mean folks that you unfortunately encounter.

jill

_____________________________


"It's the moment that transcends
Our physical into a more spiritual level of understanding" - Musiq

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/15/2005 9:44:43 PM   
MzBerlin


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

Always fun whan the religious, self rigeous pepole start their littel stream of hate. my advice is to ignore them.



I second that!!
It's horrible that people are judging you.
Block them and email the moderators!!

Berlin

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/16/2005 8:14:35 AM   
ShadowKnight


Posts: 40
Joined: 12/7/2004
From: Missoula, Montana
Status: offline 		Unfortunately the Xian right is worse about bigotry and all the things they are supposedly against than any other group on the face of the planet. But you will also run into it on boards such as this just because your kink is not that same as somebody elses. I agree with your Owner in that the only one whose actions you can be accountable for it your own. The other thing is to consider the source and allow it to roll off like water on a ducks back.
Sometimes people have no other life and so to vindicate their own they set about belittling others and their lifestyle in order to make themselves feel good about their own lack.
Chin up and keep going.

BTW did you ever get the kanji you were looking for?

ShadowKnight

_____________________________

What is weightier than gold yet depresses no scale?

The collar is put on from without, but what it encircles comes from within. Slavery, true slavery, comes from within.

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/16/2005 9:55:33 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

Unfortunately the Xian right is worse about bigotry and all the things they are supposedly against than any other group on the face of the planet.



Hey now, I've met militant pagans who were just as bad as militant muslims who were just as bad as militant jews who were just as bad as militant otherkin who were just as bad as christians.

One faith doesn't have a line on being horrible in the name of belief.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ShadowKnight)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/16/2005 1:16:21 PM   
ShadowKnight


Posts: 40
Joined: 12/7/2004
From: Missoula, Montana
Status: offline 		greetings perverse,

It would seem that you have forgotten that more people have been killed by those espousing the Christian Doctrine than any other religious belief system in all of history. Lest we forget the three periods of crusades in the middle east, the inquisitions, and forced conversion to name a few of the acts. While Muslim fanatics run second in the listing of infamy. But in a way you are correct in that there are fanatics in any organized religion and these fanatics are biggoted not only toward those percieved as not of their faith but also not of thier sect.

just My two tarn bits, your milage may vary

ShadowKnight

_____________________________

What is weightier than gold yet depresses no scale?

The collar is put on from without, but what it encircles comes from within. Slavery, true slavery, comes from within.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: need support, empathy, feelings hurt, need advice - 1/16/2005 1:37:01 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

greetings perverse,

It would seem that you have forgotten that more people have been killed by those espousing the Christian Doctrine than any other religious belief system in all of history. Lest we forget the three periods of crusades in the middle east, the inquisitions, and forced conversion to name a few of the acts. While Muslim fanatics run second in the listing of infamy. But in a way you are correct in that there are fanatics in any organized religion and these fanatics are biggoted not only toward those percieved as not of their faith but also not of thier sect.

just My two tarn bits, your milage may vary

ShadowKnight



When you said "than any group on the face of the planet" I assumed you were speaking about modern times. While I personally have serious problems with the Christian faith as a whole, I find that in the current era it seems that hate is quite equal opportunity.



_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ShadowKnight)
Profile   Post #: 20
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