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RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/26/2006 8:10:59 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear cherrypepsi, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I have been labeled as a fake myself by some people who have a personality conflict or a bone to pick with who/what/where I am.
 
Lot of these people have never met me, live far away and most likely will never meet me or attend any of my presentations, demonstrations, have never attended any of my classes or interacted with me in any shape or form.  But, that is what people do when they have to elevate themselves as to get attention and their boost in ego.
 
I've been in the lifestyle over 30 years, to which some has been extremely private due to the times and lately more public in the last 15 years.  I've been overseas and I've been here in the States.  I have been exposed to more than most and, I find some people are pea green with envy and that is when people lash out--you're fake or your this and that.
 
When people talk to me in person, they see that I have a well worth of information and life's experiences and knowledge.  I like tying in history or roots to what we do, make logic to why we do and why I like how I do my thing.  I also like to be as medically friendly as possible in my art and style of doing things.  But, I am just one person that knows a lot and doesn't know it all.
 
When people read the paperwork that shows credibility, it usually shuts the name callers up 'toot sweet.'  Documentation that is not of my making, witnesses and such are also wonderful to have as 'proof.'
Perhaps I have more than most, as public venues proffer public documentation.  What worries me though, is cases as yours and others in the global community at large, who quietly live their life, like we had to over 20 years ago--underground and discreet; which was a welcomed traite and not those who needed attention drawn to themselves and expose the lifestyle.

When people see me work the floggers, canes, single tails, other whips, paddles, quirts and more--They are quiet and either leave or ask me to show them how.  I have always let my whips work for me and speak for me first before I speak about myself.
 
So the question is, why do people call another person(s) fake:
Most times their knowledge does not match up with yours and or the majority that they associate with.
 
Most times the actions are not as skilled, artful or done with knowledge to the standards of those who are watching.
 
Most times people compare others against their own knowledge, skills and actions.  I can assure you that everybody may practice their lives a different way with some similarities but, in most cases drasticly different from what they teach/preach and daily practices.
 
In summary, the only thing a person can control--is themselves and their immediate circle of family in a M/s, D/s and or BDSM and or S&M influences.  If it is successful, then you're doing something correctly.
You'll never satisfy everybody--thats a fact.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 
 
 

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/26/2006 11:18:25 AM   
MASTERRocker


Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline 		People are always trying to get ahead by knocking others down.....
Remember 'the real thing is actually coke' <grins>  take things with a grain of salt, or a nice cold Blue
Hugs

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 3:44:13 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Removing any reference to being "female" from your profile might slow the negative traffic down a bit.
 
ORRRR....
 
At the end of the day, what you have is a bunch of strangers passing judgement as though they both know you and have a right to.  What they're really doing is publically displaying their gross ingnorance and such actions say more about them than the recipient.
 
It seems almost a fem/sub trait to take such negativity to heart when all you really need to do is rationalise that it's about them, not you!  So read their rubbish, have a chuckle at their "flashing" of their inadequate... errrr... menatality, maybe spin off a one word "wanker" reply and delete/block them.  Empower yourself - no point getting down over giving some ignoramous a stage if you're not gonna enjoy the show!
 
Focus.

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 4:24:33 AM   
zero69u2


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Geoff hit the nail on the head.
as a youthful submissive alot of the older dominants won't take anything in your profile seriously.
I think if you want to be considered seriously and not fake. You should post a picture of yourself.
Be honest, we've all been novices and know that at 19 your not going to have experienced alot.

for profile KISS. keep it simple silly.. rather then go into a big list of wants and claims to be a no-limit hooker.
Impress us with who you are and the right guy/gal will come along.
a little comedy mixed in will definately get you more milage then saying your all-experienced all knowing submissive.

even at 35 i'm still a learning dominant and all i know is what i like and keeping a open mind to other's kinks.








(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 5:16:18 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sure your getting  great advice .... but heres mine
 
Do what makes you happy .. and say what you feel. Your never gonna make every one happy.
 
I am in my 40's now and have lived this lifestyle for 20 something years ...I have had quite a few long term relationships and still get called a fake and a player on a regular basis . <shrugs> who cares . thats someone elses thought and I can't change it anyway .... but I know its true and real

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 6:12:08 AM   
cherrypepsi


Posts: 53
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		I appreciate all the advice so much. Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

Geoff hit the nail on the head.
as a youthful submissive alot of the older dominants won't take anything in your profile seriously.
I think if you want to be considered seriously and not fake. You should post a picture of yourself.

 
I have reasons for not posting a picture on my profile, which I won't go into here, but I do offer to attach a picture after a few emails. Would this really make that much of a difference?

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

for profile KISS. keep it simple silly.. rather then go into a big list of wants and claims to be a no-limit hooker.

even at 35 i'm still a learning dominant and all i know is what i like and keeping a open mind to other's kinks.


I've never claimed to have no limits or that I'm an "all-experienced all knowing submissive". Do I really come off that way?

(in reply to zero69u2)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 6:37:57 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		People call you fake if you don't fit into the little box they want to put you in;"you don't do what I do how I do it", or if you have less R/L experience than they do;they see that as a lack of commitment, some people are smug, pompous ass-holes who think you need to know what they think about you, your kink,experience and time in the lifestyle,as well as what motivated you in the first place!.

As long as it's not a personal attack on you as a person I wouldn't worry, especially if it's from a person on the other side of the world who only knows you from your posts in here;what can they do to harm your progress in this lifestyle?.

In terms of those who want to "pigeon-hole" you predjudice only comes easy to those with small brains so they can sprout sh*t with ease. And as far as people questioning your commitment etc, W/we are all different, we all have our own ways of doing things maybe due to where we live,our other vanilla commitments, health,or our finances.

My advice for what it's worth is do what works for you,if you are and it's working then the person who called you a fake is wrong and you've beaten them without realising it. More importantly, they have shown themselves to be the fool they are.


(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 8:01:39 AM   
pleazuredpain


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cherrypepsi

Hello everyone. I've been on collarme for a while and until recently all of my experiences here have been good ones. However, lately I've recieved messages accusing me of being a fake. One specifically mentioning that it was impossible for me to have had a three year relationship if I was 19 years old.
 
I was in a near three year relationship, I did refer to my partner as my Mistress, and although we weren't active in any local community, we did live as Dominant and submissive. I've never claimed to be anything that I'm not.
 
So my question, is there a better way to word my profile so that I can avoid this negative attention? Should I avoid mentioning my experience with my last Mistress entirely?


Your profile is fine.  Consider the source (some stranger who does not know a thing about you) then click that cute little block button (I have already had to use mine). Then walk away smiling about the fact that he/she did not get to you at all!



_____________________________

"You're going to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 1:01:53 PM   
KinkDomCum


Posts: 159
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		Don't worry about the opinion of someone who is so narrow minded that they are going to pass judgement based only on yer profile.  Your profile is great!
People often try to hide their own insecurities, and lack of self confidence by trying to shift the attention onto other things, or by pre-emtively declaring war on things that they think will make themselves look better.  What they don't realise is that no one is going to welcome an invasive personality with open arms, and that they are just proving how inept they are, while squandering the good will of the community and turning themselves int laughingstocks, who don't even get respect from the lowest 3rd world humiliation junkies.

(sorry wannabe poser doms always make me think that dubbya must have a CM acct somewhere, as they seem just as oblivious to either integrity, or competence)



< Message edited by KinkDomCum -- 9/27/2006 1:05:26 PM >

(in reply to pleazuredpain)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 3:29:12 PM   
zero69u2


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		quote " have reasons for not posting a picture on my profile, which I won't go into here, but I do offer to attach a picture after a few emails. Would this really make that much of a difference? "
yes, I enjoy seeing real people and knowing who i'm talking with. Not to many guys will give a second glance to a no-picture profile. Alot of us love larger sized gals myself included, but with no picture it sends a message of skip it and move to the next person who's got a real picture. 

Your profile you do what you want. but without picture alot of people are going to pass on by... with a picture at least your being real and someone might say hey i want to know that girl and write.

the other part.. was a exageration.. no your profile does'nt come off that way.. but was to make a point that nobody expects you or anyone else to be experienced/all knowing all pleasing submissive. 

maybe you should test the theory out.. Post one profile with a pic and a simple profile of "i am submissive looking for friends"
then post a no pic with as much details as possible in writing.. see which one gets more mail.

chris


(in reply to KinkDomCum)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 3:40:27 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2
maybe you should test the theory out.. Post one profile with a pic and a simple profile of "i am submissive looking for friends"
then post a no pic with as much details as possible in writing.. see which one gets more mail.

chris

Im not sure that success in this arena is best judged by which gets "more" mail, but perhaps by which gets more mail from people with whom the OP would actually like to correspond.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to zero69u2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 4:04:59 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Cherry, the reason you are being called a fake is because you didn't go along with whatever the person calling you a fake wanted...the rule is simple: All true subs/slaves automatically MUST do whatever any HNG/Dom that happens to contact them says to do...or they are obviously fakes.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 4:12:44 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Um, you mention "play" in your profile, when everybody knows we doms are dead serious and never play - so you must be a fake, get on you knees and I'll make you the 'real thing'.

Seriously, don't worry about it, it mostly seems to be a ploy to lure in newcomers who don't have a solid grip on the thing yet into thinking they require soem stamp of approval - play away.

Heh, "don't have a solid grip on the thing"  - that sounded like a double entendre didn't it?

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 4:18:53 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		There are also those who think that anyone under 25 and into bdsm is a fake because they assume that at that age it is nothing but sex with no desire to dominate or to submit. I find those views as shallow but it still raises a red flag when I am talking with someone new even though I am counted amongts those.  Do not let yourself be upset just because a few people don't bother with respect and kindness.

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 7:30:37 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Obviously he picked someone of a more youthful age to attack because he knew he could probably create a hurt feeling within you.Not saying your age is a problem however rememberences of me at 19 and my feelings were easily hurt and taken more to heart, now at the ripe old age of ...mummble..mumble....less attacks are mailed to me even with being a total novice..simply because it engenders no feelings (usually..grin) other than amusement or a simple rolling of the eyes before completely forgotten...enjoy 19..enjoy your preferences..the hide will toughen..(sadly enough)...Tempting

(in reply to shadevarr)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/27/2006 7:44:32 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Ah, well, you're also chubby apparently, and everybody knows that chubbies are desperate and mallable - almost as good as being young and inexperienced.

Right?



(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/28/2006 12:49:58 AM   
cherrypepsi


Posts: 53
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkDomCum
 
Don't worry about the opinion of someone who is so narrow minded that they are going to pass judgement based only on yer profile.  Your profile is great!

 
Thank you. <3
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

Alot of us love larger sized gals myself included, but with no picture it sends a message of skip it and move to the next person who's got a real picture.

 
That's not the reason at all, as I'm perfectly happy with my body size. I do see where you're coming from, but if I miss a few emails over a lack of picture, so be it. I appreciate the opinion though.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather
 
I'm not sure that success in this arena is best judged by which gets "more" mail, but perhaps by which gets more mail from people with whom the OP would actually like to correspond.

 
I definately agree.


(in reply to zero69u2)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/28/2006 9:53:46 AM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		After perusing my usual sampling of blog entries, it appears that bullying is not an uncommon tactic: probobly shotgunning, i.e., hitting as many likely targets of opportunity that present themselves, in anticipation of a small statistical chance of snaring one.

Block, ignore, move on - don't give out any personal information, of course, they can't do much to you over an internet connection.

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why am I being called fake? - 9/30/2006 6:40:44 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		If you are 19 now ... then you were around 16 at the time of your 'relationship' ... if that is indeed true, then you were a minor, a child at the time.  Most Dom/Dommes don't go for ... kiddies in play or otherwise.  It's illegal and dangerous.  Best to just say you have 'some' experience.  I'm sure it was not wise that you had an adult playing with you ... when you were a child.  There are those on this site and others that monitor postings ... such as yours.  Unless you'd like the men with black suits to pay you a visit ... gently requesting ... the name of your previous Mistress, I'd be more careful of what you post.

Just a friendly suggestion.  I personally don't do children, and even at 19,  you are too young.  I wish you luck in your search.


_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to cherrypepsi)
Profile   Post #: 39
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