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undergroundsea -> RE: Opnions On Pro Domme's (9/26/2006 8:35:45 PM)
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My thoughts from a relevant discussion elsewhere:
I think perspective can color seeking professional domination as wanton, or in the same light as seeking a spa treatment. I think one's views about sexuality strongly influence this perspective. In each case, one is seeking a service or experience that is a pleasure of sorts. However, in one case, that pleasure is sexual. And because of the taboo placed on sex and sexuality, many people feel seeking sexual pleasure in this manner is wrong.
There are so many different perspectives about sexuality and interaction between men and women. Imagine a culture where it is considered inappropriate for a woman to cut a man's hair, or give a man a clinical massage. Is a woman who crosses this line wrong, or is she questioning what is considered normal in her society? So there is a degree of relativity when it comes to values about proper behavior. I think there is less of a debate about whether professional domination is or can be a sexually oriented business. I think there is broader scope of views about whether it is wrong and if so, why is it wrong. I wager the biggest reason most people disapprove of sexually oriented professions stems from what we have been taught by society, and the taboo status society gives to sex and sexuality.
I think initial disapproval or distrust from someone towards sexually oriented professions may be based on incomplete information but is not hard to understand. I can imagine different reasons for this disapproval: uncertainty about value system, perception of exploitation of others, or perhaps feeling that it is an easy way to make money by being beautiful or doing something that they consider to be outside some set of rules (similar to someone cutting in line).
There was a time when I would not have known how to feel about persons who engaged in a sexually oriented business such as professional domination or dancing at men's clubs. At that time I had a much more rigid view regarding sexuality and the like. Then I met persons in such professions and my perception adjusted, if not changed.
I think my reason was tied to a whole other interesting discussion about psychology. In my opinion, we tend to more easily trust others if we feel they have the same set of values. Perhaps there is a sense of security because someone with the same set of values appears to be more predictable.
I think my response then was tied to having the set of values handed to me--one that suggested that good people did not engage in such activities for money. So perhaps it became a question of whether a person was abandoning good behavior (as defined by society) for money, and how easily would they abandon something else for money.
I then met some persons who had different values and views, were kinder and more trustworthy than the average person, and became my friends. I saw that there are different kinds of persons who enter these professions, different motivations, and different perspectives about sexuality and the respective profession itself. You have persons who enjoy what they are doing (enjoying performance and assuming a role, costumes, sensuality, and sexuality) and feel good about what they do. You have persons who dislike and think wrong what they are doing and are doing it only for money, which affects how they see themselves and their clients.
I am sure there are persons in these professions who bring the profession a bad name. There are people everywhere who would unethically exploit others for their own gain. Professions along the lines of professional domination and adult dancing can provide an avenue to such persons. As I type these words, I am thinking of a documentary that showed a dancer who took pride in her ability to spot and drain the wallets of lonely men by pretending to like them as a man until they ran out of money. And I am thinking of a professional domme whom I consider very unethical and one with no interest in the well being of her clients. I think money and greed have potential to bring out the worst in people. My hunch says persons with genuine intentions are outnumbered by those with less than genuine intentions in professional domination. For this reason, if the only information I knew about a person was their profession, I would feel more comfortable with most traditional professions (NTB mechanics and used car salesmen being some of the exceptions ;-) ). In practice, there is more to a person than the profession alone, and I think the whole forms a better basis for how to feel about a person.
Cheers,
Sea
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