RE: Politeness gone out of fashion?

RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (Full Version)

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adoracat -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 6:36:38 AM)
i suppose i laugh....i strive to be polite and courteous and use correct grammar and spelling. (well except for the capitolization thing, but i've nerve damage due to a ill-set broken wrist some years back.) Sir, however, uses shortcuts (such as u for you, r for are, things like that) and normally that would have turned me off him completely from the first... but i got to know him. obviously we each found something worth pursuing in the other. kitten, who still counts herself fortunate.

PeggyO -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 7:22:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread. just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight Hello, Here's a quick reality check on consent. Unless a submissive or slave has agreed to submit to you or to put themselves in an inferior social position to you, they are your peer. There was never an agreement by them that in becoming a submissive or a slave, that they are suddenly second class citizens and that any yahoo who's decided they are a dominant suddenly has a superior social position to theirs and suddenly merits some sort of deference. The only exception to that is Gor, where being a slave comes with an inferior social position automatically attached. There is a Gorean forum. If you expect to not be treated as a peer by submissives/slaves, I would suggest that you stick to that forum. Otherwise the basic rules of consent apply. They are your peers until they agree otherwise. It is rude of you to expect them to be anything other than that, since at that point you are expecting them to be submissive to you without obtaining their consent first. Be well, Peggy O

AquaticSub -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 7:36:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness. Just my 2-Euro-cents, MsSavra Tell you what. When you get the rest your fellow dominants to be polite and well-spoken when e-mailing submissives who are strangers to them, I'll help teach my fellow submissives. Edited: Not a flame - just a point. [:)]

AquaticSub -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 7:38:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread. Unless the respondent is your slave/sub, you are one of their peers. Welcome to the human race. ~stef Seconded. There are very few on these forums who I will defer to, and you ain't one of 'em, Shadow. Those who I do, earned my respect over my time.

Politesub53 -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 10:16:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness. Just my 2-Euro-cents, MsSavra Politeness in general does seem to have declinded. i was raised to offer my seat on a train or bus to a woman, if she was standing. Womens lib put paid to that as i used to get accussed of being sexist ( huh ? ) Worse yet i often get sworn at. Text speak seems to be the way of the future, the blame lies with laziness more than people being rude. i fully agree that an email to anyone should strive to be well written, at least to the best of ones ability. People often forget not everyone was lucky enough to get a good education though. [;)]

Politesub53 -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 10:38:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread. Unless the respondent is your slave/sub, you are one of their peers. Welcome to the human race. ~stef Seconded. There are very few on these forums who I will defer to, and you ain't one of 'em, Shadow. Those who I do, earned my respect over my time. ShadowKnight.....With respect, the use of the word tarn indicates you are Gorean, in which case Your stance is understandable. Each and everytime i reply to i post, i am polite and respect that the person who i am replying to is Dominant. My Mistress taught me that how i reply to people reflects on Her. However, if someone posts on a board they are first and foremost other board users. Just like myself. Respectfullness and having respect for someone are two different things in my opinon. The first is given from courtesy and the later is earned. Just my opinion and no disrespect intended. [;)]

goodpet -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 10:50:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread. just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight Hate to burst your ego bubble but you ARE my peer. We are both adults and writing on an online chat board.. You deserve no more respect or consideration then any other person on here.. Only after you have earned some respect will I, or most folks, give you any special consideration in address. There are a few Doms on these theads that I use "Sir" or "Ma'am" with, only because after reading many posts and a few exchanges, they have proven themself to be worthy of the title. Lady Hugs, Simply Michael both come to mind.. there are others of course..

OsideGirl -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:11:39 AM)
I view "text speak" as just laziness. HIM: what do u look 4 in a man? ME: Someone that thinks I'm worth the extra 5 seconds to type out his words.

Viridana -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:14:21 AM)
I connect text speak to teenagers. OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!1111ONEoneoen LoLz u hawt SeXX0rz and so forth... I find it somewhat immature and definately not intriguing.

sublizzie -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:16:43 AM)
Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago? Just wondering.....

aidan -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:22:35 AM)
One thing that kinda disturbs me in the earlier posts of this thread is the connection made between a submissive approaching a Dom and applying for a job. Really? You want Your sub to bring that kind of mentality to a relationship? I know for me, my job is something I endure so that I can get money. There's no sense of loyalty or motivation beyond "Am I getting paid?" I don't care about my employer in a personal sense. I couldn't submit to somebody I had that kind of relationship with.

Viridana -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:30:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago? Just wondering..... Hmm... good point. Didn't notice that. However the topic is timeless in it self.

Politesub53 -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 11:58:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie Has anyone noticed that the OP and ShadowKnight's response were written 2.5 years ago? Just wondering..... Errrrr i was trying to think what to say....... [:D]

LadyDominaX -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 12:03:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl I view "text speak" as just laziness. HIM: what do u look 4 in a man? ME: Someone that thinks I'm worth the extra 5 seconds to type out his words. A round of applause for that!

LadyDominaX -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 12:10:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shyinini If you do a search on this concern / issue in the archives...many peeps here say its the fuckin internet no one needs to be polite or curtesy...... ITS HORRIBLY SAD IMHO [:@] That is the point of view that distresses me the most. The Internet -- it is an international forum, the largest potential audience one's words may ever have. To me, that is a reason to use one's best skills with the language, not an excuse to slack off!

OsideGirl -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 12:51:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aidan One thing that kinda disturbs me in the earlier posts of this thread is the connection made between a submissive approaching a Dom and applying for a job. Really? You want Your sub to bring that kind of mentality to a relationship? Kind of, yes. I mean afterall, it is an interview process. Why do you think that someone wouldn't want to know what you bring to the table? Beyond, that some are not interested in a romantic relationship. Some people come in search of service contracts. So, if I'm a Domme in search of a house boy under contract for the next 90 days, it certainly would be more like a business arrangement.

welshwmn3 -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 1:22:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra Well, happypervert, I agree with you, that while "hi" is not actually impolite it is rather informal. Also, I think I made my dislike of grovelling behaviour clear. My idea of an appropriate address is the politeness I would expect to get if somebody applied to me for an important job or the kind of politeness I would get in a good restaurant (rather than the chip shop around the corner). Afterall, a sub does want to make a favourable impression when he writes to me, he wants my attention, or am I mistaken there? I still think, a sub wants to look up to a Lady whose favour he hopes to win. Then, shouldn't he treat her like the Lady she is? If the sub can't be respectful in his approach, if he talks to me like to his pals, what difference do I make in his life then? What role am I to play? I am not a partner, I am a Domme. I don't have boyfriends, I keep subs and slaves. But of course, this is purely my personal point of view. Best wishes, MsSavra So, why don't you put that in your profile? That won't stop all people from just starting an email "Hi". However, if you put in your profile that people who do not make an initial contact with you as if they were applying for a job will not get a response from you, it would help to weed out those who could at least read and follow directions. Just a thought.

welshwmn3 -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 1:29:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight The other thing that I find to be rude is when a slave/sub decides that they are going to treat Me as if I am one of their peers when answering a post to a thread. just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight JMO (and that of both my Doms), but unless you are one of my Dominants, you are my peer. I don't know you, and don't submit to every person who calls him or herself Dominant. Niether of my Doms wants me to submit to anybody but them. And if I ever want to submit to anybody else but my Doms, I have to get both of their permission first. I know for a fact I will NOT get that permission from either of them to submit to everybody on a general message board. In fact, if I asked, they'd both talk about sending me for a psychological evaluation because they'd know I've taken leave of my senses!

Suleiman -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 1:46:26 PM)
Actually, I was recently confronted with a reversal of this problem that I found unexpected (I'm not quite sure why I didn't expect it, other than the fact that I broke my normal rule regarding expecting the worst of other people) in that I was accused of not possibly being a "Twue" dominant because I am polite, and do attempt to construct whole sentences rife with not only intact words, but words that go past the three hundred or so relied on by Reader's Digest and publications of a similar scope. Perhaps polite behavior has become unfashionable. On the other hand, I am a multi-generational nerdling, and thus have never had any use for being fashionable, so I think I will keep my manners intact for the time being.

earthycouple -> RE: Politeness gone out of fashion? (5/26/2007 2:38:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra There is one thing I don't really understand - subs try to catch our attention, they send us long letters begging us to consider them. Yet, they often do not adhere to simple standards of politeness, such as a proper address or basic correctness of language. Do you seriously think "hi" or addressing a dominant LADY as "u" gives us a favourable impression of our prospective subs-to-be? Would you write that if you applied for an important job? Should we get less consideration and politeness (esp. when applying for a 24/7 position)? You want your future Mistress to have style and intelligence. You want her to be a lady. Then treat her as such and do not speak to her like to your old chum from school. And no, I do not mean to be a snivelling doormat, just common politeness. Just my 2-Euro-cents, MsSavra Bravo. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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