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Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 8:21:32 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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Hi All,

I've been offered what I consider a unique opportunity, and I'd like to hear what some of you think of this.

I'm also a member of another site, not all that unlike Collarme. On Friday, I recieved an email from a submissive in England, who is married to his Mistress. In this note, he expressed that they, as a couple, are looking for a Domina (Hi Jules) for him to do a 'boot camp' with. Ideally, they would want him to travel to her once a year for a set amount of time, train with her, and serve her, and then return to his Mistress/wife.

At first glance, it looks like another 'crack pot' kind of thing. But the letter was, in my opinion, honest, warm and sincere. The other attractive thing to me was that they were an English couple, and having spent a significant amount of time living in London about 10 years ago, I understand that the English have a differant world view than we Americans do, and given that, this isn't that outrageous a thought coming from them.

I wrote the couple back an equally honest note, and told them I'd like to consider this opportunity. Since then I have had the opportunity to have 2 long discussions with the submissive via a messenger, and he also called me on the phone. I have yet to speak with his Mistress, as she was away on business this weekend.

Ok, now I'm considering this. I've spoken with a couple of lifestyle friends about this, and they are equally intrigued by the notion. The couple are looking for someone who they can form a relationship with and make this 'internship' situation a yearly thing. I'm looking at this as an opportunity for me to grow, to work with someone who I have essentially no vanilla relationship with. I think it would benefit me as much as it may benefit them. I stated clearly that there would be a negotiated contract and that he would be required to keep a journal the entire time.

Would this appeal to anyone else? Would you be highly suspect of an offer like this? I'm interested mostly in discussing this because I love the idea frankly, and I'm probably not thinking clearly right now, given how much this offer appeals to me.

Thanks,
Lily

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 8:26:09 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
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quote:

are looking for a Domina (Hi Jules)

LOL!!! Hi Lily!

I know where you got that email. . .b.com, right? Those fools have written me several times and the last time to harrass me about not writing them back. I think it is one of those mass mailing things where they hope someone will bite. I wouldn't fuck with a situation like that unless they are going to compensate me for my time in the FULLEST. I mean what it boils down to is some raggety ass coming over to the states to stay with me for a while to get his rocks off (and apparently his Mistresses rocks) while I "entertain" them. . .ummmm. . .NO. This isn't (free) Kinky Club Med.

J

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 8:57:22 AM

ProtagonistLily

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Jules,

What would I do without you???

Thanks a mil,

Lily

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 11:44:22 AM

DiamondDiva

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From: North Carolina
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It really does sound suspect to me and Jules..you know she has a gift for sniffing out BS so, yes, run in the opposiet direction.

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 11:45:40 AM

DiamondDiva

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From: North Carolina
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What is b.com?

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/16/2005 11:52:29 AM

stef

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Bondage.com

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/17/2005 8:11:05 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I'll bet you his "Mistress" has no clue about either being his Domme or about sending him away to serve someone else. As Jules said, these idiots are everywhere. If they are truly seeking this, the Domme does the searching. Why would any woman trust a sub to find someone she found suitable? Plus, she would know that he'd not be taken seriously for the most part. You can't attract quality people with the male forefront. There are too many of them. She is the selling point, not him.

If you are interested, I can introduce you via Yahoo Messenger to a Domme who wants to loan her sub husband out this way. Yes, there are Domme who do this. Unless you speak with both parts of the couple up front, assume you're dealing with a horny wanker who wants to use you for jack off material. You can always revise your opinion if the wife shows up, but 9 out of 10 times, they are just using you. And yes, the male half of this couple did contact me first. We chatted. He never introduced the subject of being loaned out.. he instead asked me how I'd feel about chatting with his Domme wife. The wife is the one who broached the subject.

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/17/2005 11:57:11 AM

Suleiman

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While not quite so strong in my opinion of the subject as Jules, I would tend to agree, with a caveat. Many people get this idea, and many profesional dominants that I have known have in fact had such an arrangement proposed to them at one time or another. The three questions you should be asking are,

what is this going to cost you?
who are these people and can anybody you know and/or trust vouch for them?
what is in it for you?

The third question need not be answered by financial compensation. You yourself have stated that this idea is appealing to you for your own reasons. If this is something that you believe would be enjoyable for you, then it might be appropriate to give it further consideration. I place this at the bottom of the list, however, because the first two questions really do take precedent.

As nothing more than an enthusiastic amateur, I might well give the prospect serious consideration, assuming that they were willing to take care of the costs and hassle of transit back and forth, and the submissive were given a small amount of pin money to cover basic expenses while he was visiting. Were I independantly wealthy, I wouldn't sweat the pin money, but I would probably still insist on their paying for the ticket, simply because they had approached me, rather than vice versa.

Just remember the rule to political success given by berke breathed in Doonsbury many years ago: "...but first, let me just cover my ass..."

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/17/2005 6:44:52 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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Lily...I got the same offer and it did come from bcom. I felt the same way as Jules and elected to pass. They can be pretty insistent, and it just didn't feel right for Me.

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 1/17/2005 6:58:57 PM

ProtagonistLily

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Hi everyone.

First off, thanks to all the Dominas who piped up on this one. I guess I got suckered into it, given that I didn't realize they were running a kinky chain letter operation ~grin~

I've cut them off completely. I said basically I felt that when they said they'd e-mailed a few people prior to me, that was like saying there was a few grains of sand on in the Sahara....

Anyway, I appreciate the fact that A) No one made me feel like an asshole and B) People were nice enough to look out for me.

Thanks for treating me like family, I appreciate it!

Lily

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 2/27/2005 5:21:28 PM

webeeknky

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Joined: 2/7/2005
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hello again...it is regrettable that situations that might be intriguing on the surface have so much underlying threat of danger..or maybe even mental stability being in question when most of what folks seem to be looking for...quality people who you can have a lil discreet,adult fun with. Bad enuff there are sexually transmitted diseases running amuck,but we must also protect ourselves from someone else's possible atrosities.
Glad you steered off that one,Lil...it sounded sorta funky,as was stated earlier,that it was initial contact by the sub...not to mention they were well-known. Stay safe,be well,n spanks! Neesa-jo

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RE: Interesting Proposition - 2/27/2005 5:55:49 PM

GddssBella

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Welcome back Jules

Ahh, I do so love your candor. I was also hit up by this particular "couple". I second your evaluation of the situation. No mention was ever made of them compensating me for my time or effort so I knew immediately it was a scam by some whanker to taste the forbidden fruit across the pond.

Lily, do not feel bad because someone targeted you. If I had seen this thread prior, I would've given you a shout out long ago. Here's a hint for future use.... Always think defensively; what's in it for you? What will you get out of it? How do you benefit? Aside from broadening your experiences..... which, come to think of it, wouldn't be all that much considering the source, lol.

Stay safe all, play nice, & share your toys w/ others.....

Bella

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