Insecure

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Dnomyar -> Insecure (9/27/2006 5:22:40 AM)
When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do?

OhReallyNow -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 5:24:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do? *this slave believes that insecurity comes when an individual begins to question THEMSELVES, not others.*

MasterRobert1 -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 5:56:40 AM)
Insecurity is when someone doubts themselves, when they are plagued with anxiety over what they are doing.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 5:57:50 AM)
OhReallyNow..I read your answer and my first response is "Thats a good definition" but then I took a moment and thought about it and found that it is not as accurate as it sounds at first read. I believe that self evaluation and questioning yourself about your belief systems are not always a sign of insecurity. I think it is very healthy and many times necessary to re-evaluate what you think/feel about things. It happens as we grow in the lifestyle. It happens as we over come prejudice. It happens each time we come across a new idea or situation that we have to decide how we wish to take that information into ourselves. I think it becomes insecurity when you are questioning yourself because you always believe you are wrong about how you view things.

OhReallyNow -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:01:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave OhReallyNow..I read your answer and my first response is "Thats a good definition" but then I took a moment and thought about it and found that it is not as accurate as it sounds at first read. I believe that self evaluation and questioning yourself about your belief systems are not always a sign of insecurity. I think it is very healthy and many times necessary to re-evaluate what you think/feel about things. It happens as we grow in the lifestyle. It happens as we over come prejudice. It happens each time we come across a new idea or situation that we have to decide how we wish to take that information into ourselves. I think it becomes insecurity when you are questioning yourself because you always believe you are wrong about how you view things. *this slave agrees [:)] her choice of words, or lack of words in this case were poorly chosen.*

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:05:45 AM)
insecurity is doubting your own self worth and many times that is involved in a relationship not believing the other values you as much as you wish to feel valued. May not be the definition for all but is the definition for me.

Celeste43 -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:09:33 AM)
Just because people think and act differently doesn't make them insecure. They're insecure when they doubt themselves after gathering all the information needed to make a decision. If I was in the market for a new car, I'd buy a car magazine that tells about every model, I'd pick the features I wanted and eventually settle on the one that fit my needs. But if, after doing all that, I still asked all my friends if they thought this was the right car, that would signify that I doubted my ability to make informed decisions.

mstrjx -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:27:46 AM)
But to follow up the others, the insecurity persists until whatever the doubt is is dealt with. Understanding the doubt is just the first step. Removing it is the way to end a negative cycle. It is possible to be in relationships when one or both parties harbor insecurities, but at some point or another these things will come out if they are not examined. Jeff

zumala -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:28:17 AM)
Insecurity as I understand it is when a person WANTS to be right and perfect (they know they aren't, but they try to ignore that fact), and therefore fears others, who may show them that they are not right and perfect. Fear makes the insecure person lash out at perceived threats to their desired position of 'rightness'. This is where you get the vicious crazy people with the swollen egos from. IMHO. YMMV. zuma

pqwinny -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 6:36:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do? Is this a multiple choice question? if so, neither a nor b strike me as viable answers. i vote for the addition of another option... c. when fear is present

Silvermoon -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 7:24:01 AM)
Insecurity...I tend to define it quite simply. When you look towards others to define yourself. Sincerely. Silver

Frank01 -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 7:30:21 AM)
Insecurity is often used by people as a dismissal when they disagree with an opinion. ie, "You don't like how I do things,so you must be insecure" The reverse of it is "Your twueness makes you look very insecure, why can't you be more wishy washy? Tolerance shows how secure you are!"

juliaoceania -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 7:44:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pqwinny quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do? Is this a multiple choice question? if so, neither a nor b strike me as viable answers. i vote for the addition of another option... c. when fear is present I agree

pleazuredpain -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 7:52:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar When is a person insecure? When they do things different than you do? When they have a different point of view than you do? Insecurities are found within oneself. When they question their worth or view themselves in a harsh light. IMO anyway.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 7:56:08 AM)
When someone either doubts their abilities to the point that it affects them emotionally OR when they doubt their self worth to the point that they assume others agree and are treating them likewise. Both of these are manifestations of fear. All of us doubt our abilities and all of us doubt our self worth from time to time. It's when we let these things interfere with our path that insecurity manifest itself. It's rather like the difference between being afraid and being a coward. Being afraid is simply being afraid. Being a coward is fear preventing us from doing what we know we should. Being brave is action in the face of fear. In my opinion, that is. Master Fire

suraya -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 8:08:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove insecurity is doubting your own self worth and many times that is involved in a relationship not believing the other values you as much as you wish to feel valued. May not be the definition for all but is the definition for me. this is so painfully true with myself, i always think that my Sir does not feel for me what i feel for Him or that i am not important to Him or worthy of His time. i know this is on me not Him. also, at first i was not exactly sure where i stood in O/our relationship, after sitting down with Him and He defined it, i am now much more comfortable and secure with U/us. and for me yes, it is fear also, fear that i am not good enough, pretty enough, whatever, always thinking that there is some other girl around the corner who will be "perfect". thank god He doesn't want perfect and is happy with me, lol.

Frank01 -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 8:34:54 AM)
Insecurity can also be used as a goad-especially in a relationship based on the performance of the bottom. She knows that if she slacks off-her value to the master will decrease-so it keeps her on her toes.[;)]

gypsygrl -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 9:05:32 AM)
I think its interesting how we automatically assume that being insecure is somehow a negative personality trait. If one is reflective about it, I don't see that its necessarily a bad thing. Personally, I'm very insecure. I know that, and can talk about it, and try to be aware when I'm acting out of insecurity rather than more rational motives. But, these are all things I do out of respect for others and the desire not to project my own fears onto the world. Its a boundary maintenence strategy. And yes, insecurity can be a powerful fuel for a D/s dynamic so long as the parties involved are aware of whats going on.

Dnomyar -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 9:16:20 AM)
I asked questions a and b because they came up in other post that I was reading. I think a person who is full of self doubts is a insecure person.

pahunkboy -> RE: Insecure (9/27/2006 9:37:54 AM)
insecure is when you hold on too tight.

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