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RE: Another Spin off thread-Love vs. In Love - 9/28/2006 5:50:47 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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Reply to OP:

I do think there are different kinds of love, or at least, different ways that we project it. The love for my child is a love that I have never felt for a man. Being 'in love' is a feeling that is different than the way I love my mother etc.

"In love" is like the shine on a silver trophy. Eventually it will tarnish, but that doesn't mean that the love is gone. It just means that the novelty of the relationship no longer exists.

To speak about specifically needing "love" or needing to be "in love" in a PE relationship.... I do not think it's necessary to have romantic (in love) kind of love. I personally prefer not to. This is not to say that I cant or dont grow to love the person Im submitting to; I actually do, its just the way Im built...I become emotionally involved. However, I do not need or want to be in love, or have romantic love with him. I dont want to sleep cuddled up or eat dinner like husband and wife together. I prefer to be of use more like an 'employee'. I do believe that human beings become attached to one another. And I think no matter how tough some of these Masters act, they also become attached to their sub/slave. But its different than being in love in a traditional sense. I dont want to be treated like a wife or a sweetheart or a lover...Im like a fish out of water that way, I am not comfortable with it. Its just so much easier, and so much less complicated when romantic love is non-existant in the power exchange. I know alot of people enjoy Ds relationships with their spouses or their lovers and they share romance or romantic-type love and Im sure it works for them. For me though, it dilutes the potency and is actually enough to knock the whole dynamic off it's axis. I am simply more comfortable in a colder and darker place.

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marie.

I give good agita.

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RE: Another Spin off thread-Love vs. In Love - 9/28/2006 5:55:27 AM

zenfull2

Posts: 62
Joined: 12/4/2005
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Allright for easy reading purposes I am going to do this in three sections, the first will be my definition of love, the second being in love and the third is to answer the question "Does love/in love belong in M/s D/s relationships?" from my own personal point of view. I am including a link to Dictionary.com's definition of Love. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/In%20Love

Love: A deep feeling of emotion, adoration, tenderness and care towards someone or something. This does not have to include romantic emotions or antyhing like that. ie: "I love my cat." , "I love the BDSM scene.", "I love to be spanked over the knee!"

In Love: A deep feeling of emotion that falls deeper than the surface of love and begins to involve a romantic emotional process that can bring about intense feelings of joy, satisfaction, pain, sadness, heart break or heart warming. ie: "I was in-love with my ex, and I still love him very much though through time the pain has begun to heal."

Q: Does love or being in-love have any place in the M/s - D/s relationships?
A: Yes and no. I have to answer this to both degrees, I have been a submissive to a few Doms whom I have truly enjoyed my time with. Bottoming for them, learning from them and exploring with them- and yet there was no feeling of love to any degree. There was an immense amount of trust! Though one does not need love to trust. Yet at the same time, I know that when I find a true M/s - D/s relationship, one that I want to settle down within, grow with, learn with, love with, laugh with, cry with and die with.. I want to very much be in love with that person(s). I want to be able to share everything with them. I want them to be my best friend(s) and everything else. So in my opinion, you can have a relationship in the scene with or without love, and with or without being in-love.

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RE: Another Spin off thread-Love vs. In Love - 9/28/2006 3:20:42 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Reply to OP:

I do think there are different kinds of love, or at least, different ways that we project it. The love for my child is a love that I have never felt for a man. Being 'in love' is a feeling that is different than the way I love my mother etc.

"In contrast to the desiring and passionate yearning of eros, philia entails a fondness and appreciation of the other".

http://www.iep.utm.edu/l/love.htm

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Post #: 23

RE: Another Spin off thread-Love vs. In Love - 9/28/2006 8:47:40 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

Reply to OP:

I do think there are different kinds of love, or at least, different ways that we project it. The love for my child is a love that I have never felt for a man. Being 'in love' is a feeling that is different than the way I love my mother etc.

"In contrast to the desiring and passionate yearning of eros, philia entails a fondness and appreciation of the other".

http://www.iep.utm.edu/l/love.htm

Interesting reading. Grazie. : )

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Amaros)

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Post #: 24

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