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what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the real... - 9/27/2006 9:30:43 PM   
lilguy31


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		cause notice sometime they get mixed together
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 9:37:11 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Any way you want. 

(Yes, that is a serious answer). 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to lilguy31)
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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 9:42:57 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		My BDSM activity is the real world. I manage to make it to work minus my kinky accoutrements. I go to the grocery store and no one can tell the difference between me and the other folks. I'm not sure what it is you're asking, but I think you're asking about concentration.

Just try to imagine playing the Sims and adding a meter for kink. Try to keep it in the green zone, along with everything else. 

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to lilguy31)
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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 9:51:39 PM   
lilguy31


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Well thinking last time I was in a submissive relationship, first one, Only one so far. Still new

Had promblems balance because the girl wasnt the most undestanding woman. For instance sometime I was with family gathering or at work and she wanted all my attention that second or take days off. Stuff like that. Was like kind of with my boss and got a presentation to do and that stuff not always possible.

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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 10:04:17 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		That is something that you need to communicate with a potential partner. If they aren't sensitive to your situation, move on to someone who is. 

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to lilguy31)
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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 10:13:00 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		The real world happens. Jobs, family, speeding tickets... Fact is, your kink is no more important than laundry. It has been my experience that for some, BDSM becomes their life, to the point where nothing else matters or is always second place.

Identify as a person, not as your sexual preference and seek a partner who is the same way.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 10:13:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilguy31

cause notice sometime they get mixed together


Our rule is that it is not right to involve vanillas into our kink. This means that we do not go parading around in front of others with a collar and leash, he does not dominate me in public. I call him "Daddy", but many people call their Sweetie that...

Basically that is the way we do things. Other then that take it day by day

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/27/2006 11:35:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilguy31

cause notice sometime they get mixed together


For me, it's about setting priorities. Each moment of each day affords one the opportunity to make a choice on how to live in that moment. Someone mentioned that kink is no more important than the laundry.. but, sometimes it is.. and sometimes the laundry is more important than the kink. You have to analyze what goes on and make a determination of what you need to do, what you want to do, what you must do and what you can put off doing.

There are times that the laundry can't wait .. there are times when Himself 'must' wait because (gasp!) there is something more important which needs attention in that moment. There are, of course, consequences for those choices. You have to learn how to judge your own abilities and weigh it against the expectations that others may have for you then act accordingly by your own set of values and in step with your own personal integrity.

The universe does not revolve around Himself .. it can't and he wouldn't want it to and if he thought it could, I would have wonder a bit if he were really in touch with reality. ::chuckles::

We struggle through as best we can with the hands we're dealt, but if we make smart choices, set our priorities so that what needs to be done gets done and remember not to take life so terribly seriously that we forget to laugh, you have a shot at success which I gauge in terms of how many times a day I smile/laugh or others smile/laugh with me.

Nice leer on occasion works, too.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: what the best way to balance BDSM activty with the ... - 9/30/2006 1:13:56 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Can't pick me out of the crowd unless i want you to!  Picking kink over laundry most of the time lol but know there will be those days when that will not be feasable and that perhaps i will be punished for it.  If i were punished all the time or kept from the work/family i also am obligated to on a regular basis i would seek someone else that would fit my reality a bit better.


_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 9
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