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Voltare -> RE: What earns a person the title of Sir or Master? (9/29/2006 7:32:42 PM)
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Well, I've seen a lot of shorter answers, so I'll toss in my two cents worth.
Like most folks have said, it really comes down to how you feel about it, and the group of people you're around. I'm offering some definitions I jotted down off the top of my head just now, but please understand these are basic and general - if you ask ten people what a slave is, you'll get ten answers. Ask ten people what the difference between a slave and a submissive is, and you'll get twenty answers. Also, for sake of brevity, my fingers, and my experience, I am not including specific terms that are unique to the Gay or Lesbian community.
To understand the titles, a little vocabulary is in order:
D/s (Domination/submission) usually refers to the type of a relationship between two (sometimes more) people. Typically one will be in a controlling role, the other in a submission role. This is usually personality oriented, though it can be role played - a pretend role - for specific situations.
M/s (Master/slave) this is generally considered a more aggressive Ds relationship, where the Dominant is expected to assume a greater degree of control and authority, while the submissive/slave has an expectation of a higher degree of obedience, either on a constant basis, or under a strict regimen. There is no clear line between a Ds and Ms relationship, and an Ms relationship is most certainly a type of Ds relationship, though not all Ds couples practice Ms interaction.
TPE (Total Power Exchange) is sometimes used instead of Ms, to refer to an Ms relationship.
BDSM (Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) an all encompassing term that more commonly refers to the specific activities people engage in, such as spanking, whipping, bondage, (list ad infinitum.) It's important to note that folks who engage in BDSM activities aren't necessarily interested in Ds - these are commonly called players or fetishists, amongst other names. Likewise, people involved in Ds relationship have no obligation to engage in BDSM activities, though the vast majority of lifestylers will use a healthy mix of the two.
Sadist: Someone who enjoys giving pain and/or bondage
Masochist: Someone who enjoys receiving pain and/or bondage
Sadomasochist: Someone who enjoys giving or receiving pain or bondage.
Switch: A catch all phrase that addresses individuals who enjoy both dominant and/or submissive roles. Note this can refers to relationship roles both in the short and long term. As the combinations are numerous, brief common examples might include
a) a bisexual woman who enjoys submitting to men, but dominating other women
b) a heterosexual man who is submissive to dominant women, and dominant to submissive women
c) a heterosexual woman who enjoys dominating most men, but is submissive to only one man
d) a homosexual masochist man who prefers to be the dominant in a romantic relationship, but is submissive in a strictly sexual relationship
Dominant: Any male or female who generally prefers the dominant emotional role in a relationship. Often males are referred to in short as Doms, while females are often referred to as Dommes.
Dominatrix: Commonly refers to a female Dominant who offers strictly BDSM oriented services for a fee. Also called a Pro-Domme (with Pro-Sub referring to a female submissive in the same capacity)
Master: Most commonly associated with a title expected by a Dominant from his slave, as well as a general term for a male Dominant within formalized or structured BDSM circles. Note that generally the title is used almost exclusively by the actual slave of a Dominant male by his own slaves, though there are numerous exceptions (male dominants who identify themselves as Gorean, for example, will always expect that all Gorean identified slaves refer to him as Master.) While there are many exceptions, it is generally considered poor etiquette to demand to be called by any title, unless there has already been a negotiation of such protocol i.e. for a scene, or for the purposes of a specific situation.
Mistress: Female term for Master, and does not in any way imply the woman is a lover, or in any way sexually involved with a slave.
Sir: Commonly used in place of Master for Ds relationships that are more formal, but not specifically TPE or Ms oriented.
Daddy: Generally used in a specific type of Ds relationship, commonly known as 'Daddy/babygirl' where the submissive takes on the role of a younger girl (or boy in the Mommy/littleboy version) and the Daddy assumes a parental aspect, in addition to the normal Ds interaction. This often includes a degree of ageplay, though incest is not implicitly implied. I've heard submissives say 'I have a father and love him dearly, but my Daddy takes care of me.'
I hope this helps a bit.
Stephan
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