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Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 10:35:20 AM

sterlingsweet

Posts: 180
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Hi everyone,
I get a lot of e-mail from women who
describe themselves as "Very Bi". I have
Never found a reason to state that I am "Very Lesbian".
Yet I find a great number of Bi women making this statement.
Do you think they are More Bi than the average Bi-sexual?
Or do they describe themselves this way to be more apealing
to Lesbian women?
Just kind of makes me go Hummmmm?

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< Message edited by sterlingsweet -- 1/17/2005 10:38:07 AM >

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 11:02:55 AM

Suleiman

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Okay, this is probably some vestige of radical queer rhetoric left in my brain from earlier days, but to me, speaking as a very outspoken bisexual, when someone feels the need to say they are VERY bi, it usually means thatthey are differentiating themselves from the people who are basically heterosexual but will play with a partner of the same sex as part of a three-way (this being, for the most part, the apparant vanillia-world definition of bisexual).

It also indicates the sort of self-identified zealotry of the newly converted. YEAH!!! I'M BI!!! LOOKIT ME!!!

Some of these folks get a grip and relax into just being themselves. A lot of them, however, get over it and become monosexual - usually heterosexual - a few years after their "revelation".

I suppose some folks might consider themselves only a little bi. Some folks might consider me to be only a little bi, or by some standards even straight. I got married a while back and haven't been in bed with a guy for a while. Of course, I still LOOK, just as I look at any number of women, but I have heard the argument made (usually, once again, either as a joke, or by the chronically insecure)

You know, I've heard people describe themselves as "Very Heterosexual", and I've heard people describe themselves as "Very Bi". I have heard the self-applied descriptive "Very Queer" or "Very Gay", but that is typically more about social behavior than sexual inclination. I have never heard anyone call themselves "Very Lesbian", however. To be honest, I consider the self-proclaimed "Very" people to be a bit insecure about their sexual identity. You can be a little bit bisexual. You can not be only a little bit hetero or homo sexual without also being a little bit bi. Heterosexuality and homosexuality are the extremes, and are by definition already very "Very".

Then again, as a child in new mexico, I heard any number of texans refer to the big rio grande river. Some people just don't take the time to consider what it is they're trying to describe.

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 11:45:39 AM

sterlingsweet

Posts: 180
Joined: 8/10/2004
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Thanks for your responce Suleiman.

I tend to agree with you that the "Very's" may
be a bit insecure within their sexuality.
But I also wonder if these Bi-sexual women were writing to another Bi or a hetrosexual as opposed to a lesbian, would they still find the need to present themselves as "Very Bi"?
I am still humming.....

On a personal note;
I want to say to you Suleiman, I enjoy your posts a lot, you share your wisdom in a way I find Very whimsical and at times Very comedic. I appreciate your participation

.

< Message edited by sterlingsweet -- 1/17/2005 11:55:29 AM >

_____________________________

Who Let the Dommes Out?? (I'd like to Thank them).
~Wink

Peace Out...Sterlingsweet

I finally got my cuffs,
I hope to use them soon ~wink

(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 2:17:16 PM

Shayna

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Labels are so subjective (duh) so who knows. I see sexual identity as fixed for some (I'm gay, straight, etc.) and fluid for others. Different times in my life I've been more one end of the spectrum or the other. I'm bisexual, but I've put straight on my profile because I'm not interested in looking for a female primary partner.

To me (for what it's worth) I'd say "very bi" means that her emphasis right now is on women.

So will we get to know what the right answer is??

:)

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 4:52:48 PM

Suleiman

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The right answer is "I AM". Everything else is filler.

**although, for you mousy types, "I AM THAT IS" is also acceptable**

< Message edited by Suleiman -- 1/17/2005 4:54:03 PM >

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 6:27:36 PM

Shayna

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"I am" as in:

I am Sam!

Sam I am!

That Sam I am!

I do not like that Sam I am!

Do you like green eggs and ham?

Hmmm...we need a bdsm version...

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 6:33:43 PM

Suleiman

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I am SAM!

Smart Alec, Maam!

Would you play my little game?

I am snippy, make me tame!

Would you, could you, on a rack?

Could you make me sit on a tack?

Will you whip me till I cry?

Will you spit right in my eye?

I would not, will not, on a rack,

not with a whip not with a tack!

I do not like smart alecs, sam

I do not like them SAM-I-Am!

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Shayna)

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/17/2005 6:48:14 PM

Shayna

Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
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Woah, now that was some quick thinkin' - and quite good!!

Ever think of starting a bdsm division at Hallmark?

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/18/2005 4:48:42 AM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

I tend to agree with you that the "Very's" may
be a bit insecure within their sexuality.
But I also wonder if these Bi-sexual women were writing to another Bi or a hetrosexual as opposed to a lesbian, would they still find the need to present themselves as "Very Bi"?

Probably not.

See here is the thing, and though this might not be applicable across the board, this has been my experience. For 7 years of my life, I dated only women. I hung out with lesbians, slept with lesbians, basically lived a lesbian lifestyle and identified as one. After ending a 2-year relationship with a woman, I came to the realisation that I might want to be with a man again. And I did exactly that. I experimented and eventually started dating a man more seriously. That is when the shunning began. My phone stopped ringing. I even got ignored by a couple of my dyke “friends” walking down the street when I was with him. After that relationship with the man ended, I attempted to reintegrate somewhat and what I found was that everyone seemed preoccupied with the fact that I fucked a man.

I’m not surprised by this chain of events. I saw it happen to girls before me and I’m sure it’s still going on. Women who sleep with men are seen as contaminated by many lesbians. Not all of course. I still have a few good friends and they tell me that the image of bi women has not gotten any better.

I don’t go around saying I’m VeryBi. I have been known to say that I’m “truly bi and not just bi-curious” but often times, I have to explain this to men, not women. And every time I do, I shudder at the fact that once again I must cram myself into a little pigeonhole.

- LA

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/18/2005 5:17:19 PM

sweettreat

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I have been asked "How Bi are you?" I usually tell them I have never measured it. Do I have a tendency one way or another? No, it is part of who I am. I see no reason why it should be elaborated upon.

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/18/2005 8:08:33 PM

SwitchNCgal

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that was wonderful Suleiman! i usually find your reponses a little long for my tastes but this was wonderful!

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/18/2005 8:12:00 PM

SwitchNCgal

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sweet treat you might find it tintresting to know that the slave Kanji that you have as your image is made up of two other Kanji the first on the left is the one for "woman" the one on the right means "again. also"

anyone else think that is intresting?

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RE: Very Bi??? - 1/18/2005 9:04:57 PM

sweettreat

Posts: 4
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I do not understand your point about the symbol I posted. It is not meant to offend anyone.

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I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

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