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As a new slave have you ever... - 9/28/2006 11:36:17 PM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		Hi all! 
This is my first time starting a thread here but i posted this on another site to get reactions to this thought and this board always seems more active so i thought i'd try it here as well.

i've asked my Daddy/Master about this and he was surprised that i came to this conclusion and found it pretty insightful on my part soooo here goes

Maybe some of you will/have see/seen  you or Yours in this.

i am in a TPE relationship, and have been owned now since Jan 2006. i just recently was able to understand that it's an IE realtionship.
Anyway, my Daddy is a very calm and patient man, waiting with each step as i progress into each phase of my natural surrender to him. He allows me freedom to talk to him about all kinds of things all the time. Sometimes i agree with what he says and other times i don't necessarily agree. (of course my job is to obey not agree)

i am always saying "yes, but, Daddy..."  in conversations and trying to get my point out about my feelings or thoughts.(needless to say this is not a good thing for me to be doing) Sometimes i'm not even aware of it. (let me make clear, that none of it is ever in a bratty way and that with my Daddy it is impossible for me to top from the bottom even if i wanted to and i don't)
i feel like sometimes that he is generalizing, that he just doesn't know me well enough (after almost 2 yrs), that he isn't understanding my meaning...yadda yadda yadda...

Then it just hit me like a bag of bricks...maybe i am trying to run from the fact that Daddy does know me VERY WELL...maybe he even knows me better than i know myself (in alot of ways)....If i admit that he is right and that he does know these things then i will be admitting that he is way more in my head than i knew or wanted to admit to....which is why i fight. Trying subconciously to retain thst control.

Has this happened to any of you/Yours? (in one way or another?) Now that i think i may've stumbled on to the cause of my issue then i feel i'll be better able to just stop saying but  and just be able to obey him.

cherry

< Message edited by charismagirrl -- 9/28/2006 11:39:30 PM >
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/28/2006 11:57:38 PM   
italian4pain


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		As far as my experience goes, you are completely correct.  I have done, and still do, the same thing.  Its much easier to try and talk my way around what he said than admit that he knows me in and out.  It's amazing ---- and yet really, really annoying on several levels.

(in reply to charismagirrl)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 12:04:09 AM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		lol - the word but was removed from this one's vocabulary - He got quite sick of hearing that.  one had to learn how to rephrase what one said to leave that word out.  And many times He does know exactly what your meaning is - and by you stating it, especially starting with the word but, means you are trying to justify.  Sometimes it is best to just sit back, think about what He said and digest the information.  By doing this you can learn an awful lot about yourself - and if there is still something you do not understand, you can figure out how to ask about it without using that dreaded word.

(in reply to charismagirrl)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 12:23:39 AM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ayasha

lol - the word but was removed from this one's vocabulary - He got quite sick of hearing that.  one had to learn how to rephrase what one said to leave that word out. 



Thats too funny because that;s where i am right now...trying to remove the word. So then i said "i understand Daddy it's just...." and of course that rephrasing was just the same dumb thing again.

you're also right, i do end up learning alot about myself and about Daddy and about ppl in general. i also am realizing that things would be much easier if i didnt always have to interject. i really have no idea how to stop so i'm going to take it one day at a time.

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave.

(in reply to ayasha)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 12:47:51 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Trust takes time and comes in stages after personal revelations like the one you just had...its the same for all of us in one way or another

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(in reply to charismagirrl)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 2:13:41 AM   
zenfull2


Posts: 62
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline 		*Whistful sigh* I long for that sort of thing. You've got it made.

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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 4:26:37 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		A submissive useing the word BUT drives me up a wall. I let one go because of it. I'm not a know it all. When I know something that works I don't want to be interupted by a lot of but's. But = bad
Butt = good

(in reply to zenfull2)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 4:29:22 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Cherry I'm pretty much where you are as well. I have been owned since March of this year and everyday seems to be a learning experience into myself and why I do what I do.

This weekend we are going to step up my training. My Daddy is going to work on my speech and the way I talk and present myself. I seem to have a tendency to argue and become shrill. I really hate the word shrill!! I just began college courses and he feels working on my less than ladylike and business habits will benefit us both.

If you don't mind, I will borrow this for my mantra? I requested duck tape for my mouth but was denied the crutch.
 
For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave



< Message edited by Littlepita -- 9/29/2006 4:30:22 AM >

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to zenfull2)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 4:45:30 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: charismagirrl

Then it just hit me like a bag of bricks...maybe i am trying to run from the fact that Daddy does know me VERY WELL...maybe he even knows me better than i know myself (in alot of ways)....If i admit that he is right and that he does know these things then i will be admitting that he is way more in my head than i knew or wanted to admit to....which is why i fight. Trying subconciously to retain thst control.


Yes been there done that, i think we all do, especially when we are new or even in a new relationship, i think it is part of the natural progression of things.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to charismagirrl)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 5:02:53 AM   
pleazuredpain


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline 		There are many words you will use before getting rid of them, if you ever get rid of them.   I am not in a LTR, have used the words often, and will probably always use them.  In the end I will be able to say that my point got across.

but.......just.....though....really?.....etc.




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"You're going to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 8:33:10 AM   
badkittyamy


Posts: 41
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Nassau, Bahamas
Status: offline 		I'm in that phase as well. There are moments when we do debate things but I know when now is not the time if She give me 'the look' that look all Dom/mes seem to be born with that shut's you up immediately. We often have religious debates as I'm catholic and she's wiccan. Though it's usually me definding mine as I know nothing about wicca.

_____________________________


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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 8:47:00 AM   
tangldupinblue


Posts: 230
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		i to am in the same place, i just became a slave to my Daddy in the last year, he just gave me my name this week.........so i am so new to all this although i have been submissive for more then 20 years, it is so different being a slave.

i had the right to ask questions taken away......my Daddy is a very private man and i was so eager to be the perfect slave i wouldnt stop asking questions.so now i have to ask permission to ask a question. i'm trying to learn how to just shut my mouth and trust that he does know me better then i know myself.....after all thats what i was waiting for....isnt it.

blue

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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 9:29:30 AM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita


If you don't mind, I will borrow this for my mantra? I requested duck tape for my mouth but was denied the crutch.
 
For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave




By all means i'd be honored if you did.
[
quote:

ORIGINAL: tangldupinblue

i to am in the same place, i just became a slave to my Daddy in the last year, he just gave me my name this week.........so i am so new to all this although i have been submissive for more then 20 years, it is so different being a slave.

i had the right to ask questions taken away......my Daddy is a very private man and i was so eager to be the perfect slave i wouldnt stop asking questions.so now i have to ask permission to ask a question. i'm trying to learn how to just shut my mouth and trust that he does know me better then i know myself.....after all thats what i was waiting for....isnt it.

blue


i know that my Daddy is trying to erase that word from my vocabulary...and i told him how hard it would be to speak without it, of course he disagreed lol....there are some times where he will stop me mid-sentence and tell me to just say "yes Daddy"....the part you said about it being what i wanted..that hit so close to home because he IS what i want and he said that to me the other day...that i finally have what i want so to just obey. This is sooo hard because i want him to know me deeper than deep and then i have to realize and admit that he REALLY does.

 i'm gratedul for his patience and that he wouldn't release me for this infraction (since it's one of the very few)

Congrats on being named...my Daddy calls me all kinds of sweet little names but has yet to change my name, although he told me that it would be something to come.:)

It's so comforting to know that other slaves are going through the same thing....and now that i've identified my real issue with it i think it will be much easier to curtail the behavior.

Edited to add:
[
quote:

ORIGINAL: tangldupinblue i was so eager to be the perfect slave

This is the other thing that keeps making me shoot myself in the foot....i'm trying sooo hard to be the perfect slave to my Daddy..to prove how worthy i am to be his slave. So now he has me working hardcore on my self esteem. Because he feels that i am waaay worthy and the exact slave that he wants to have and guide and create. ...so then who am i to think that i'm not good enough.

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

< Message edited by charismagirrl -- 9/29/2006 9:40:58 AM >

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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 6:34:27 PM   
Hotwife


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		yes, my Master is also working on my elimination of the word "but", or at least starting a sentence with "but".

He does know me better than i know myself. It's uncanny, and part of the reason I trust him so much.

(in reply to charismagirrl)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 8:32:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		FR

While it's important IMO for people not in authority to learn how to gracefully accept that position and that it occasionally means just shutting up and going with it- most good authoritarians understand the need and usefulness of thinking and "challenging" subordinates. 

And online at least, most doms who would try to tell you not to contradict them in any way are just incapable of handling actual introspection and trying to shame the sub into obedience.

As always, what matters is to find a balance.

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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 9:03:01 PM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

FR

While it's important IMO for people not in authority to learn how to gracefully accept that position and that it occasionally means just shutting up and going with it- most good authoritarians understand the need and usefulness of thinking and "challenging" subordinates. 

And online at least, most doms who would try to tell you not to contradict them in any way are just incapable of handling actual introspection and trying to shame the sub into obedience.

As always, what matters is to find a balance.


Thx for responding, and yes, i could see where an online relationship could maybe have issues like that. The realtionship i have with my Daddy/Master is r/t although he travels alot on business. He never tries to shame me into obediance and he does allow me to speak freely (too much so at times maybe). Of course i am to always be repectful even when my ideas differ. The issue here was more the case of the control that i was holding onto by always having to "Yes, but.." him.

Truth be told, and i've really done some soul searching over the past 24 hrs....if it is any one else that i come across i don't ever feel the great need to try so hard to hold on to getting my point across...trying to make sure that i'm heard or understood... i will debate and get into long discussions but i dont ever have to keep saying "Yeah but"..Why? Because none of them controls me so i can just let it go. my Daddy/Master on the other hand does control me and so subconciosuly i feel it may be me trying not to admit that he controls alot more than i think....a last ditch effort of my subconscious to surrendering and letting the wave of deeper submission and surrender pull me down


_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: As a new slave have you ever... - 9/29/2006 9:12:38 PM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		We seem to agree in many things, so the word 'but' is not used often. Instead of using a 'but...' or a 'is just that...' I preffer using 'Would....?', as a suggestion than rather an oposite opinion.

Seems to work better.

< Message edited by gretchenS -- 9/29/2006 9:14:01 PM >

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